I just had my first baby 7 months ago. For obvious reasons I didn't want or desire to have sex with my boyfriend. I just started to feel sexy since giving birth but I still don't have the desire to have sex with him. I have had desires for other men but I'm not going to cheat. Is it right for us to continue a relationship with no sex or should we ultimately part ways? J
You've already had desires for other men, you clearly stated in your question so its not a question of whether or not your libido is up after having the kid, you just don't find him sexually attractive anymore, you don't need to wait any longer to know for sure because you already know you said it yourself "I have had desires for other men."
Just make your boyfriend take care of the kid with you and find your kicks elsewhere. I mean, sounds like your headed in that direction anyway, you're not fooling anyone by typing up on there "I'm not going to cheat" since no one can accurately predict future, and your not fooling me by trying to be morally righteous or anything, the sexual instinct is to strong for that shit.
Earlier you said the condom broke, I guess that is how you had your baby 7 months ago, look I not trying to come down on you but you are a mother now, my question is who is taking care of your child? I don't think you should be worried about your sexual desires you have the rest of your life for that your first concern should be your child's If I were you I would finish my education first provide a good and stable environment for your child. After all that is in place than look for a KEEPER what is a keeper some one that will stay with both you and your child and provide for you and your child. As a mother you just can't look at the here and now you have to look at the future.
Where in my detailed description did you read "the condom broke"? We are both together raising our child! We've been together for 5 years and she was planned. I feel sexual desires are important part in a relationship. You made sound as if taking care of my child is not my number one concern!. Are you f***ing serious?. My first priority is for my child that why I'm am so concerned about my relationship with her father! I obviously need to speak to the women who had a child. Your no help! - 4 months ago
Answerer
I must of read another comment about the condom breaking but the fact still remains about the KEEPER one who provides a home (his home that he is paying for not his parents), support hard working loving committed to you only. Maybe if you just take a moment and be honest with yourself and ask the question why are you looking around if you are not happy with this one. There used to be a day when people stayed together for the child! - 4 months ago
Every woman has this problem when they have given birth. I have seen this problem with friends and others way too often. When a child is hatched, they sex drive goes way down to almost nothing. It can last from a few months to years until a woman is ready to get back into the sex again. The problem is that it puts one hell of a strain on a relationship. In probably over 90% of these cases, the relationship ends in misery for all involved: man, woman. And children.
Why does this happen? The reasons are too many for me to cover here. I say don't wait much longer, I can imagine how much your man is suffering. Cheating is the worst thing either of you can do. If you part ways because the sex is died out, your odds of regaining a new love with a renewed sexual vigor will decrease. Hence just one reason so many people are alone and miserable.
I think it's too early to call it quits. At least give it a few more months until you see whether or not you have the desire for him anymore, then make your decision. It's been 7 months I know, but a couple more won't hurt just to make sure.
You just had a baby! Relax. No girl feels in the mood after nine months of almost constant hell. You'll get your urges and feelings towards him back just give it time. If you are truly worried talk to him about it and see if you would both into trying something totally new. Don't split yet! Stay together and wait it out.
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