Somebody explain to me the difference in responses on these two threads

It is a double standard. Women will always say they want a relationship, even if it is just for sex. I don't care if that's the case here or not.

Men and women are not identical, and I believe there is a foundation for a sexual double standard, the argument I believe should be not whether there should be two different standards, but how much they should differ.

Reasons I believe there should be different standards:
- women can get pregnant, and abortion is not always an option due to religion, emotional, and medical reasons. Its a documented fact that single young moms are supper more likely to not finish/continue their education, and will remain below poverty level for years
- The "betrayal factor": women get more emotionally attached in sexual relationships. Yes, men have emotions too, and yes women get turned on...but when a sexual relationship ends, and we tally up who walked away clean and who is emotionally devastate/betrayed the scale tips toward women. Now how far the scale tips? who can say. No one can deny however that women are more emotional than men - that is while men and women both have the same capacity to love and be betrayed, women insist on "taking it personal" all the time, women attach emotional importance to everything, while men are more compartmentalized. (a personal example: my cousin started sleeping with guys at like 14. Every time she'd always dream about the day she would become Mrs. [bf's last name]. She was emotinally invested. I doubt he was in turn plotting growing old with her.)

Therefore, the chance that a women will get hurt both emotionally or physically is greater (again by what ratio compared to men I don't know)...and Therefore there is this idea that women should be older and more mature (so hopefully wiser) so they won't begin a doomed relationship. But if not wiser, hopefully stronger, so the consequences are not so devastating. Again, I think the argument should be how much should the two standards differ, not whether they should differ.

theres a big difference in a 23 year old guy talking about nailing 16 year old girls and a 23 year old woman finding out she's dating (not having sex with) a 16 year old boy. one difference is she knows its wrong. another reason is there are gender stereotypes that girls are naive and men coercive as proven by this post:

"The same way you attract older girls. Younger girls fall easier because they're more naive. Especially if you use tricks with women your age. Good luck!"

Explain to me why men can sleep with infinite number of girls and it's fine, when women get called whores. Double standards are everywhere.

good question some times it is weird how the world wrks huh

If a person posts in this forum that they want to pursue somebody for booty or just looks vs. relationship, the first person will be attacked, the second, encouraged. Is there a double standard? Sure, because men will get attacked for going after a woman for her attractiveness; women would not necessarily be attacked for going after a guy just because he's hot (heck they might even be encouraged).

If an adult wants to pursue a YOUNG (e.g. teenager) person for booty/appearance vs. a relationship, the third factor of youth is a confounding variable. Youth, being associated with things like innocence, and relatedly, being easily taken advantage of, makes people more protective. Thus, people are more likely to analyze for the adult's intent - and will look for information about WHY the adult is interested in dating the teenager. When the poster does not supply information to indicate the intent is more than purely physical, people get cautious and angry, and may presume that the poster's intent can potentially lead to the younger person getting hurt.

People are protective of youth regardless of gender. You have two posts you state are 'identitcal', but one voices interest in a relationship while the other voices only an interest in getting laid. The resulting comments are more related to the person's intent rather than gender.

I agree with you that men who want younger women are looked on with a harsher eye then a woman who wants a younger man. But there are two reasons for that: what the younger person is getting out of it and what the older person is getting out of it.

I am not going to generalize because everyone is different but what we typically see in our society is when an older man goes after a younger woman (younger as in not legal) it is because he can usually have sex with her easier than with a woman his age. He has developed skills to woe a woman that a 16 year old boy hasn't developed. So what usually happens is, she ends up having sex with this man believing that their is going to be a life long relationship. Because, unlike, a younger boy who obviously all he wants is sex, an older man will promise her dreams of being swept off her feet. But what ends up happening is they brake up and she ends up hurt because he was just after sex. This is not every case! I want to make that clear. But that is what we see played out in the media and what we see in our own lives. The relationship is lose/win. The girl lost some innocence, the man gained more sexual experience.

On the other hand, we typically see the older woman younger man as a win/win. The young boy gets the sex he wants and the older woman gets a devoted puppy, almost, cause he is so enamored with her.

The truth is that young boys can be very, very tramatized by older women. Cause, especially at an age like 16, he can become strongly attached to her and if she is just having fun, he can be crushed. Her experience usually only makes his inexperience highlighted and makes him feel victimized as well.

It is very possible that an older man wants a younger woman for love but unfortunately we don't see that story enough to make us comfortable with the idea. Think how in the 1930's when people married, and didn't just sleep together, it was OK for a 16 year old girl to marry a 20 year old guy. It's the fact that its all about sex that is the issue.

I personally think both of them need to rethink their lives. As adults we need to realize that at 16, they have not lived enough to realize the weightiness of their choice to be with an older person. It will affect life with their friends and family and can affect choices they make in life later. It is the older person's responsibility to make the choice for them and back off and let them live a little life.

Having said that, I do have to agree that the man came at the situation a little different. He was asking how to pick up illegal girls. It was the way it was asked. If he had asked how to pick up Asian chicks or fat girls or anything in that same manner it might have gotten a pretty unfavorable response from women. Ususally cause we are always on red alert for a creepy guy. So if any behavior seems "off" to us, we freak out. But as a woman, if another woman asked the same thing but about 16 year old boys, I would be pretty creeped out also.

Adults should stick with adults.Teens should stick with teens.Kids should stick with kids.
Also,the goals of these "relationships" are completely different.

Look at this thread posted today, with a large age difference; the guy is 28, the girl 17. He isn't getting all douche bag comments (yes, one guy did say he was too old, but the other couple of comments aren't negative).

He phrased it differently, indicating he really cares about the girl, it's not phrased to indicate he just wants booty.

link

I was going to agree, but then I realized the girl indicates 1) she's interested in more than just getting booty with a younger guy and 2) she didn't realize his age and thus did not intentionally target him because of his youth.

The guy indicates he only wants to get booty from younger girls. Also, at a younger age, a couple years does make a difference maturity wise. The difference between 16 and 19 is less different than a 23 year old going after a 16 year old, in my opinion.

The girl articulates concern about the fact that the guy is younger than her; the guy does not express concern about the girls age other than how to get around it.

Bottom line, it's not apples to apples.

I'm not saying double standards don't exist, just that in this instance, it's not clear cut at all. You could do an experiment and post a similar question to the forum, then pose the exact same question again, posing as a girl. Keep the age ranges the same.

In the old days, if a girl made the wrong decision about who to date/sleep with, she usually faced exclusion from society and her family and/or poverty. A woman's entire life could be destroyed by making the wrong choice (sleeping with someone before marriage, choosing a loser to marry, etc). Younger, more immature women are the ones who are most likely to make wrong choices.

Society is still much more judgmental and protective about anything to do with young women because of this history.

im going to say its because he said I like girls in there prime so translate that I like younge pussy. the girl was not knowing what to do because she got into a relationship then was like SHIT HES YOUNGE ! she didn't want it she just stumbled upon it.

if you want to talk sexist think about this I have f***ed four guys I'm called a slut. and I have lost many friends due to my rep as a whore.
one guy I f***ed had sex with three girls in one night and his friends all said good job and he's a hero.

thats sexist. so stop complaining about this because there not the same situation.

yes there is sexism towards men. but this isn't a case of that.

Every sex has double standards.

Regardless of sex, we're both liable to fault when it comes to a certain matter of question.

It's never one sex or the other in any case, and I try to view both genders as equally best I can. However questions that involve words like, "i like the younger ones they are in their prime and I want them" can either indicate one of two responses in a female. 1. The guy is a sexual deviant and likes underage girls, or 2. the guy likes a younger female as a partner because he is out of his prime yet she is in hers.

Double standards damage both reputations of the sexes, e.g, men are called Dickheads more often than not because of the relationship horror stories or e.g, Women are delicate creatures because of their inferior sex.

We've had double standards about both since the dawn of time, unfortunately I don't believe any of that will change, granted yes, some changes have been made to the system but it is not completely equal. Some women are still considered inferior while men are superior and vice versa in some aspects.

There's difference in the answers based off of the gender of the question asker, we tend to be more sympathetic or compassionate towards the girl based question because she's a female. The male on the other hand, we as women view as disgusting because of his question. Logically, the only difference is the answers, not the question.

no offense but I think it might be the guy in how do you attract younger girls worded it. "i like the younger ones they are in their prime and I want them", sounds predatory. where as barely legal is looking at one particular person as a person themselves not an age group. seems more like she got to know this guy thinking he was older. I think there are sometimes double standards but I usually see it as the other way round that a guy is great for getting a younger girl and seems more common and understood. Whereas its the other way for women, they get called cougars lol! Plus so far all the answerers on barely legals question are guys I noticed wait til the women chime in there may be differences in opinions.

You got the answer from "smile whore":

Quote:
some guy said that he likes girls in there prime ! She likes this guy for the right reason and she wasn't looking for a young guy he just turned out to be young. -
unquote.
He's perfectly right.

The girl misread the guy's age. She wasn't looking for 'young meat'.

The guy in the other question admits he's looking for 'young meat', because he didn't get it when he was young.

It's the same lame excuse that's used in the well known pedo novel 'Lolita' by Nabokov.

Two different mentalities, two different kinds of answer.
The guy looking for 'young meat' should get himself a life, instead of mourning a hypothetical f*** in his past and trying to make up for it.

Most guys did NOT get laid when they were 15, 16 or 17. They nevertheless do not try to bed adolescent girls.
I didn't get laid either then (or not as much as I wanted) I don't look for adolescents. I never did even think about sex with an adolescent after I was beyond adolescence myself.




Are you even beginning to understand the difference?

You make a good observation. That being said, sometimes double standards make sense. I'm pretty tall, and I often get asked if I could help change a light bulb, or open a high window, or do one of the many things that are easier if you're tall. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to be able to help. My point is that many people expect tall people to use their height to help when they can, and those same people wouldn't ask a midget to open a high window for them. That's a double standard, and it makes sense. You can have one standard for tall people, and another for short people. Some people are different from other people. There are differences between men and women -- a women can be pregnant, etc. -- and sometimes double standards are useful, helpful, and appreciated. In the case of dating younger people, I think that your observation is accurate, and the double standard you point out seems to be unfair. I just wanted to point out that society is full of double standards, and some of them are considered to be "fair" and "good" by many people.

because girls can't be perverts not matter what they do

So who says it isn't sexism? It is, and anyone who says it isn't a double standard is wrong. The one aspect you seem not to understand is that one question is heavily weighted with responses by man bashers and feminazis. You see we males do not form into groups equivalent to those for the purpose of bashing women. In short, what ever a female wants to do is fine, only males are expected to at all times behave according to the model.

The biggest difference I see is that the gal got into a relationship, then figured out her guy was 16. The guys question was intentionally targeting 16 to 21 year old women.

I also think he would have taken much less flak if his target range would have been 18 to 21. I think there is a big enough difference in most people between 16 and 18 to make his lower bound "socially unacceptable" to the community who posted.