I'm not normally into ons, but I was upset that night, so I was actually looking for someone for a cuddle and kiss, but I ended up at his somehow.
We didn't even ask each others name on the night, it seems like we both were clear it would be just one night...but we got to talk a lot in the morning, I felt somehow connected, I thought he did too, because he took me to a romantic restaurant for lunch...he treated me like perfect gentleman, things like telling me I can wear his cloth as mine has smell of smoke from the night before...or brought his jacket for me just in case it's cold outside...feels like a caring boyfriend to me.
We had great chat over lunch, got to know each other better, and he asked for my number, said he would call and meet up again at the weekend (he's away for work during the week), he even told me to keep his jacket because it's cold, so I did, and we kissed goodbye...
He asked me to email him couple of photos of the city to use, because I'm a photographer, and I did, but he didn't even bother to reply. I really thought he'd call not just because he said so, because the way he treated me, and I felt the connection as well. but it's been 5 days, Maybe I was wrong about the connection? maybe he's just being polite? or maybe ons can only be ons?
I've never made the first move before, but should I call him? please help...
I don't even know what to say. Your post truly breaks my heart because I hear so much hope where there shouldn't be. There are several issues I have a problem with.
1) You assume because he acts like a gentlemen, he is a gentlemen-- This is a man who met up for a one night stand. Didn't ask the woman's name. Didn't reply to her contact. Hasn't called when he said he would. That is not the actions of a true gentlemen.
2) When you say "I felt the connection as well" what you are saying is you felt a connection. We can't assume other people feel something just because we do.
3) My biggest concern was your state of mind before the one night stand happened. This is why one night stands can be so dangerous for women. When a man has a one night stand what he is saying is "I want some physical affection" and that's exactly what he gets. But when a woman does, a lot of times, she is saying "I want some emotional affection and I will take it in a physical route." So when the next day comes, he has his full of his need. But you don't. You got some emotional affection but not as much as you would like cause the act wasn't wholly emotional. So when the next day, he takes you to a restaurant and doesn't act like a jerk, you are starting to get the affection you want. And then he promises to call, you are getting closer to the affection. And he wants you to email, even closer. And then he doesn't call. And unfortunately, you are left in a state that is worse then before the one night stand. Cause where before you were lonely emotionally, now you are hurt emotionally.
I am sorry to say this but I do not think he was a good man who wanted a relationship. I think he wanted sex and that's what he got. I think he has done it before and that's why he is good at knowing to go to a nice restaurant and asking about you. I also don't believe for a second he is "away for work during the week".
If he calls, he is going to call for sex. It scares me that after one night with this man you would even consider thinking that his behavior is like that of a caring boyfriend. The fact that you would use the word boyfriend tells me you want this to work more than there are words to express. You want love so badly right now, that a man who didn't want to know your name 10 hours before, is the picture of a gentleman to you.
Please be cautious because I think you are in such a state of mind right now that this man is going to leave a scar on you you aren't going to heal from. Please take care of yourself. And do not confuse your hopes, with reality.
Thanks so much for your comment, I think that's what I need to hear right now.The truth hurt, but I will get hurt more if I keep hoping, it's not going to end very well. Yes, I do feel the needs of love badly, as I'm going through a hard time of my life right now, and I never have much luck with guys, leaves me wonder why do I get punished for being a good girl...I think it's the state of mind I should change, stop falling for someone so quick and stop hoping before everything happens.Thank you! - 14 days ago
Well, I am truly sorry it hurt you, even if it did help. But I am also glad it helped.
I went through a stage where I thought "Hell, if I'm good and bad still happens, I might as well be bad." It left me with a lot of regret and life didn't get better. I definitely found that doing the right thing and life still being hard makes you hold your head higher than doing the wrong and living with the guilt. - 14 days ago
>When a man has a one night stand what he is saying is "I want some physical affection" and that's exactly what he gets. But when a woman does, a lot of times, she is saying "I want some emotional affection and I will take it in a physical route."
Hey, that's not always true! I've been in situations just like you described, but with the genders reversed. - 13 days ago
Damn, this was meant to be the rest of my comment on hisangel's answer, but it didn't work:
>Didn't ask the woman's name. Didn't reply to her contact. Hasn't called when he said he would. That is not the actions of a true gentlemen.
Now here I agree 100%. You gave him a chance to show that he was boyfriend material, and he f***ed up and didn't respond.
If you feel like giving him another chance (maybe he didn't get the email, lost your number, whatever), go ahead! But also consider the possibility that he's just another douchebag. Meh. Anyway, good luck and don't let the bastards grind you down.
Indy, I completely agree! Not all men are like that. The man I am with now would be like you in that he would be the one looking for more than the physical. But he is also the man who returns every text, email, phone message that he gets. He would be the one to put someone's number in his phone immediately so he wouldn't lose it. I can't imagine that when you were in the same siutation, but reversed, you would have lost that number. - 13 days ago
What hisangel said is absolutely right, I would just like to add on a little... don't call him now, you have emailed him and he has your number so he has the ball in his court, If he wants to call or get in contact, he will. So wait for him to get in contact with you. You DO have a excuse to see him again as you have his jacket, but if or when he does call he asks to meet up again DONT sleep with him again, then you will see how interested he really is in you on weather he is bothered by this or not. If after two weeks you still have heard nothing, then give him a quick call and remind him you still have his jacket and ask if he wants it back. Don't ask how he is etc as he has made no effort with you in those two weeks so why should you with him? Depending on his reaction to this call you will see if he wants to see you again, but by that time I would definately say he is NOT worth it. If he doesn't even answer your call then forget him and keep the jacket as a suvenier. :) Keep your chin up.
Thanks so much PeachesAndCream, very practical ideas you gave to me.The problem with me is I let myself get emotionally involved before I know the guy well, when I calm down and think over the whole situation, now I know you are right, I shouldn't need to contact him, if he does call,I will make sure no second ons,I don't want to be on his booty call list.If he doesn't call after 2 weeks,then I see no reason for me to make any effort,it was simply just a ons then.Thanks again, it really helped:) - 13 days ago
Answerer
No problem :) I'm glad I could help. Stay happy :) - 13 days ago
Thanksgiving is right around the corner and just like the last year and the year before, you will most likely spend it with your family. And just like everyone else, you have a crazy uncle or an...
$20 Amazon Gift Card
Check out the winner of the last contest! Worst Pick Up Lines
Winner received $20 Amazon Gift Card
a good guy friend of mine admitted to liking me 2 months ago. he traveled all the way to my college (3.5 hrs away) to tell me how he felt and told me...
I met a friend in school last year and our friendship started when he wrote his number on my yearbook and asked me to call him up I wanted to hang out...
"Why didn't he call me yet?"How many times have you found yourself asking that question? Every girl has asked at least once. After all, he took your number, talked to you for hours and HE SAID HE...
I read and watched He's Just Not That Into You. I loved the book, and while I wasn't a huge fan of the movie. I definitely appreciated the rather unique idea of adapting of a self-help book to a...
Disclaimer: GirlsAskGuys cannot guarantee the accuracy of answers, opinions and advice submitted by members. Please use common sense when following or omitting any content on GirlsAskGuys.com
(Age:25 to 29)
When: 14 days ago
$20 Amazon Gift Card
Site Links
About GirlsAskGuys
GirlsAskGuys Widgets
Help Us Improve!
