Herpes..When do you tell your your date?

I'd say the 2nd or 3rd date, so that the other isn't resentful of having their time wasted.

Also, he could look into being treated with something like Valtrex if he will see his doctor about it.

I think they have medicine to control it don't they, I know they don't go away, just take some Valtrex, Valtrex will control the herpes and the rest is between him and their physician, just means your going to have to holster that weapon fro a while

You need to tell them before the point you are going to be intimate. If that's the first date, or a few dates later, then so be it.

Your friend is right. I don't believe there is anyone out there (who is disease free) that would want him. The message is out there. AVOID STDs. Which equates to avoiding anyone who has STDs. Intimacy comes up very fast in relationships today. I don't believe that this allows enough time to know the person before having to be informed of the disease. Makes dropping him/her a lot easier too.

Your friend should try a herpes support group in his area. These groups support each other in their herpes struggles but also provide relationship opportunities for people sharing the same problem.

From the choices you gave us, I would go with #2. In the beginning, it is still not really their business yet. UNLESS you two feel a very strong connection and you feel like a kiss could be imminent. But otherwise, wait until you know the person better and feel that the relationship could go somewhere.
Thats just my $. 02 :)

I found out that I contracted genital herpes a few years ago, and I went through the same dilemma. I've come to realize that if someone wants to be with you, they will be able to deal with the fact that you have genital herpes. In the grand scheme of things, herpes is really not a huge deal if you want to be with someone.

I have had two boyfriends since I found out and they were both great to me. When I told them at first they were understandably surprised and confused but once we talked it through both boyfriends were really supportive and great about it.

I would wait until you have been out with the person a few times. Then you need to sit down and discuss with no distractions. Make sure you have accurate information and make sure that you tell them all the facts. Be sensitive to their feelings and answer all of their questions. Most likely they will be surprised and hurt and for the most part confused. Give them time to think about it after.. maybe a few days.

Do NOT tell them just before fooling around!!

Do what feels right for you. Don't worry too much about genital herpes. Chances are your date knows people with STDs or has dealt with them herself. I think you'll be surprised at how supportive people actually are.

Goodluck!

I never wondered about this much, because I have HSV I (genital herpes is usually the HSV II strain), and it's on my face (commonly seen as cold sores on the mouth, although I can have outbreaks on my nose and eyelid as well). Typically, I try to avoid using the word "herpes" since it's got crazy connotations now, and call it a cold sore. I avoid kissing if I have an outbreak, and definitely oral sex or anything.

I'd never really thought about it much until this last guy I dated briefly - he was really paranoid about getting it. You can never be 100% sure you won't spread it, but on the other hand, most people have been exposed to the HSV I strain early in life and if they didn't get it when they were young, they PROBABLY won't ever get it.

So, I'd never thought about the facial strain in terms of telling a partner until this guy, but now I don't know if it's something I need to disclose? For another side of your question.

I think he should wait a few dates, just to be sure that there is anything there worth trying to pursue with the person. You just don't want to go around announcing to every perspective lover that you have an std. Holding back this information is not being dishonest it's getting to know someone enough to divulge a secret to them, and trusting them enough to want to tell someone this kind of information, does not happen in a few hours.