So, my best friend and I just got married on Valentines day, and when the time came to ahem, "consummate the marriage," I found out that he's just not interested in sex--at all! Is it just me or is that a little weird? I sleep topless, mostly because it's more comfortable, and get no reaction at all.
He doesn't like to touch me, and he told me point blank that he doesn't find me all that attractive. I've been told I'm very attractive by a lot of guys though. I'm about 5 ft 8 with a curvy body, slight (and I mean slight!) stomach pudge, dancer's legs, what guys constantly tell me is a "great ass" and 34DD breasts. I could be wrong, but wouldn't most guys appreciate a body like mine? I just don't get it. I also found out that Japanese anime turns him on. But I don't! It's really frustrating!
Please help, is there anything I can do to bring back desire? He claims that he suppressed it for years because of a conviction that he had in the area of porn, and that it just disappeared. He also says that he doesn't want it back. What can I do?
The answer is simple, dress up as an anime character and become a completely subservient anime-style dream wife, if after a month he's still not attracted to you, leave because he is probably just waiting for you to leave him and he;s too gutless to break it off himself
Whoa. Just looked at your pics and questions posted. You're 18 and knew this guy 6 months before marrying him. You don't believe in sex before marriage and now your husband doesn't believe in sex after marriage. You obviously made some quick decisions that aren't working out for you. You're an attractive girl. This husband/best friend is full of crap and has taken advantage of you. Anull this marriage and take some time finding out about the character and compatibility of the next. - 5 months ago
Well first of all, it does sound like you're extremely attractive. Secondly, I don't understand why you married him when he told you point blank that you weren't attractive to him. Looks and sex obviously aren't everything in a relationship. But intimacy is an important part of the connectedness needed to sustain a relationship (not to mention basic human desire). Normally, I would say that seeing a sex counselor or psychologist would be helpful, but if he doesn't want to get his sex drive back, that would be sort of useless. He needs to want to help the process, otherwise it's never going to work.
Maybe if you somehow tied anime into your lovemaking? I have no clue how this would be possible, but maybe if you could try it, then he'd be able to have sex with you and eventually wouldn't need the anime part any more. Just a suggestion. Hope things work out for you!
I definitely agree with a comment that one of the women wrote; he could be gay. He also could have been sexually abused. Making sex an experience that brings up old trauma. Maybe he has an exceptionally small penis. You need to ask him, for real. If he is steadfast about not sleeping with you, then maybe you should get a divorce. Think about it, do you really see yourself living a sexless life?
Sorry to say, kinda sounds like he is gay. I find it interesting that you called him your best friend, not your boyfriend/husband/the love of your life.
Sorry to say but this is why I'm not an advocate for waiting until your married to see how compatible you are on every level. I know sex is not the end all or be all, but it is important to a marriage. And as you see in can be very detrimental to a relationship no matter how solid a friendship you have.
I am thinking that this is something you can work through, but to do that you both have to first of all know that something is wrong, and second want to fix it. Good luck with that.
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