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What does it mean if a guy puts your hand on his.....

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(Age:18 to 24) When: Over a year ago

Category: Sexuality

If you kiss a girl and then move your hands around her body then put her hand on you penis {Very gently - not like forcing it}. Does this mean you want her to just experiment? Do you want a hand job? Is it a way of asking of it is OK to have sex? Would you ever do it as a reflex response, without thinking?

Update: I am worried like that guy said - it was rude. He did it in a very gentle way, so I was not feeling physically pressured... But I would not want him to assume I'm fine for anything... We have kissed. We never had THAT interaction . Thoughts help- Thanks Over a year ago

Update: Would any of you expect someone that you respected to do something that soon ? Would you even try that with someone you respected?
Why would he not be concerned with my impression ... I suppose he may not know I have never had sex... Seems forward. Over a year ago

Update: What I want to know is if you guys think this is disrespectful... We spend lots of time together but he usually seems careful NOT to touch me. Maybe I gave him an impression I did not intend. It is just strange - I wonder if he thinks / feels differently? Over a year ago

Update: Oh! I forgot , it was on top of his jeans - if that makes a difference... Over a year ago

Update: For the guy who said it is disrespectful - I do not necessarily disagree... Does that mean you ask if you can place your hands where you wish to put them ?
Everyone, feedback would be great, as this is someone I would otherwise like. Thank You. Over a year ago

Update: I know I can figure things out on my own, but I am asking for other perspectives... Do you think it is disrespectful for a guy to put your hand on his crotch if you guys had known each other for a while but had not been physical since a 9 months ago? Over a year ago

Update: Ok. complicated, going to sound supremely stupid but he had just offered to have sex - because he thought I wanted it, he misinterpreted my meaning. I did not respond because I thought he was joking, so when we were kissing, he might have thought... Over a year ago

Update: Someone wrote that nine months is a long time to wait... Sorry for the confusion. Went out nine months ago,for two weeks - had to travel...Then we just started kissing for the first time a couple of days ago, and other stuff... BTW -answer helped.! Over a year ago

Update: SkinnerOne.Well, I don't think obsessed ... I want to make sure I do not blow the wrong things out of proportion. I have a lot of curiosity and little experience. I would rather stress out about it before hand {Pun not intended}
Over a year ago

Update: SkinnerOne I was not raised with a particular religion or faith... I have always believed in humanity and justice. It is very important for me to do things based on reason, and I am careful to about respect- both giving and receiving - even a HJ Over a year ago


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394

hawkgirl6

Over a year ago

Went out nine months ago,for two weeks - had to travel...Then we just started kissing for the first time a couple of days ago, and other stuff...
I've been in that boat. If you know he respects you, and he has never pressured you, that's like a primal "I miss you, I want you, do you feel that way?". He's not pressuring you- don't think. He's just expressing how he feels.
My boyfriend (long-distance) did that to me once, after we hadn't seen each other in a while and we were making out and both feeling pretty close/sexual. We'd never done anything, really. I just kind of froze, and pulled back, and looked at him like "Seriously- dude? What the heck?" and he said all flustered "Sorry, I just- wanted you to know that I want you. Not right now, not anytime soon, whenever you want, I don't care. But I think you're so sexy, and you turn me on, and I wanted to see if you thought the same thing. So every time you wonder if you're sexy- know that you made THAT for a reason".
But that might just be me. And the fact that my boyfriend is exceptional from every other guy I know.
But bring it up! He's TRYING to be more open with you. Talk about it, calmly and maturely. See what's going on inside his head first.

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Answerer
Over a year ago
Oh, haha. Well, after that it was obviously a little awkward, so I kind of pulled away. But he just hugged me, and said "Well, it's true" and after turning deeply red, I said thank you and he laughed. But I just pulled back and said "But you're not getting that."
"I know"
"Smart boy!"
Then just cuddling and watching a cheesy movie,lols. We always talk about EVERYTHING, even the awkward.
But he hasn't done it since. Now I'm just comfortable with him. I feel like I'm in control, not him.
Question Asker
Over a year ago
That is awesome... Ok. That is as close as anyone has come to my situation... lol Experience works so much better than just advice ... Thank you I really feel much better.

btw, Um what did you do after he said that - I mean not exactly what you did lol... But were you more comfortable with what he said & did you us stop & talk about it or just continue?

You may have already answered that - I'm not sure :-)

Thanks*
Answerer
Over a year ago
Haha whoopies. I quoted you, yes. Should've made that clearer.
But that EXACT thing happened to me.
And no, we didn't. We've been dating for over a year, and I'm still a virgin. I don't want to have sex until I'm married (not pushing any religious views, I just don't want to). We just made out and cuddled and talked, ect. But that's because we talk about things a LOT.

Show Older Comments

Question Asker
Over a year ago
Thank you.

That s exactly what I needed someone ti say - it resonates more than anything else & I have no reason to think otherwise... "Went out nine months ago,for two weeks - had to travel... just started kissing for the first time a couple of days ago, and other stuff..."

>>>Umm did you quote that from me, or is that you because that was exactly my situation.. Anyways thank you.

btw Did you guys have sex that day? I was just worried he would take it the wrong way - I'm a virgin.

:-)

What Guys Said

349

sedstar

Over a year ago

yeah... the guy wanted a handjob...

but seriously, I got even money says you could have given him oral, intercourse... whatever...

honestly, does a guy have to draw you a picture?

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- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Um yea I guess since ever guy is different, I think its up to ihm to be clear.
  
  Also, he just finished saying he didn't think we should have sex.
  
  We were just kissing- kissing to me doesn't mean sex so I had no reason to assume what he did meant anything in particular but I realized it might have. Anyways we are not in that kind of relationship so I don't think it would have been appropriate.
  
  (Anyways my hand was over his boxer- you can still do hj that way?)
N/A

Over a year ago

i would never touch my crotch when talking to a girl but that's just me

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- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  No. Her hand, like while kissing. etc. Sometimes guys put the girl hand there. Sometimes- Some guys:)
970

shadley12345

Over a year ago

First he wants a handjob. He won't stop you if you want to do it. 2nd he wants you to tease him through his pants. He is just horny. Don't overthink it.

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- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Mmm not in THAT order tho right- h j then teasing , other way around - no?
  
  & if you know he wants me to tease him , then how do you know he wants a hand job..i mean are there a sign or something that says h j or teasing or sex etc - assume for a b j he'd be coaxing my head down..?
  
  & I thought guys don't like to be teased?
  
  (In that kind of situation what would he do if I moved my hand somewhere else- I mean how upsetting would that be & by the way thanks for the simple answer :-)
4225

dreamishobby

Over a year ago

he just want you to rub his d!ck...at least for a while...!

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-1

bunny420

Over a year ago

He wants you to rub his d***.

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- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Lolol I know! but how do know what he wants-- if its just rub it I m OK with that...but no the the stuff but how do I know?
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  To an 'end'. Just pull away then, he'll have to accept you don't want to.
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  You mean as a means to an 'end' or just as a thing in itself-- I mean how do I know if he wants a hj or a b j- because I don't want to tease him, but I do not want to are I am not 'ready;' to do either of those.
743

soccerbmxwow

Over a year ago

is this who I think it is?

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- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  Ok I am glad I can help anytime :)
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Ok so it's been bothering me for a while ^ ^
  
  -I ask again now, because can't ask him about it I am abroad.. But I want to figure out if he is a jerk or not- before I get home which will be soon.. lol
  
  You're funny^
  
  Btw You answered it in a way that is really helpful - I know you say you are not an expert , but it is just as helpful all the same - you should be flattered I had to try so many times..
  
  I am not sure what made your post so much easier to get but anyways - thanks. haha
-1

tigerguy

Over a year ago

he just wants to know if you want to do something more and see how you react to when he does it like if you pull away after you do it he will know your not ready and if you don't then he knows your comfortable with it and then next time he will try alittle further and see whenever you comfortable for sex

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- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  If we had sex tho, so that is part of why I don't want t have sex with him, I don't want to stop talking to him cause I like him a lot a a person I respect him... Sounds like a weird reason to NOT have sex with a guy lol - but it is true.
  
  :-)
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Oh good answer cause I was worried like if he is embarrassed to talk about it & I need to explain it to him than we are going to have problems lol
  
  You guys worry that we will think that is all you want - well sometimes it is true right lol
  
  I would not stop talking to a gy just cause he talked about sex lol I don't think I ever would have when I was younger I mean.s long as he wasn't being crude - & even then as long as he stopped being obnoxious pretty quickly.
  
  I do think I may stop speek-
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  Its not embarrising for the guy, its just we don't know how you girls are going to react if we start the conversation, some girl will go is that all you want me for, or is that all you think about or we think your gonna get weird and might not talk to us for awhile, best if you start off the conversation, plus telling him your a vrgin will make him realise and won't pressure you till you are ready
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- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Yes of course lol but I was just wondering what would have happened if I did not stop things, like am I supposed to talk about it THEN, cause if I don't he will this I want to have sex?
  
  & Do guys get embarrassed talking about sex, or they think woman do - I mean what did you mean when you said guys think it is embarrassing to talk talk about sex ?
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  Possibly but discuss it with him and say you arnt ready but maybe try foreplay for the time being till you are ready
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  You mean you GUYS are embarrassed, o worried that she will be embarrassed, cause I'd rather discuss it then end up near sex. lol
  
  When you say he will try more stuff - that makes sense, but I was wondering do you think he woud try more that DAY
  -ok imean lets say I did not take my hand away - would he think it ok to continue towards sex - is that necessarily a test ground for sex or could it just be for that in itself?
  
  I have never had sex & I really have not been with anyone so I don't know REALLY
  ^ ^
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  No probs
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Ok thanks!
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  He will certainly start being abit more sexual with you, if your ok with other sexual stuff with him that's cool like foreplay (hand job, him fingerin you, going down on each other) these thing do want to lead to sex but if you don't want that yet just let him know and discuss it.
  
  sometimes guys don't want to discuss it with a girl because it seems embarrising and some guys are afraid of the girls reaction so like people say actions speak louder than words.
  
  add me as a friend, lets chat more
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Next time like that hour or like next time we make out?
  
  btw thanks for a freaking stragt-forward response ( really) lol
  
  Do you think if I seemed ok with it he would think I wanted sex?
  
  Is there something guys do that distinguishes weather THEY want sex or just touched or hj etc?
  
  Cause I am not ok with sex & if we did not talk about, it I would not want to lead him on.
  
  thanks a bunch!
0

smity13

Over a year ago

he just wants you to rub it for him that's a guys way to start off something that is gunna happen sexualy

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- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  You mean you GUYS are embarrassed, o worried that she will be embarrassed, cause I'd rather discuss it then end up near sex. lol
  
  When you say he will try more stuff - that makes sense, but I was wondering do you think he woud try more that DAY
  -ok imean lets say I did not take my hand away - would he think it ok to continue towards sex - is that necessarily a test ground for sex or could it just be for that in itself?
  
  I have never had sex & I really have not been with anyone so I REALLY dk ^ ^
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Soo, it is a prelude to MORE?
  It doe not just end there/
  I mean obviously it s sexual, I am just wondering if it represents something, I mean what is he point? - I guess.
  
  Why not just let the girl go to it if she wants to?
  Or is it just like putting her hand anywhere else, like your neck or stomach or something- I mean do you think it's suppose to be a big deal?
  
  - Thanks .
  :)
1089

Mr-Blob

Over a year ago

In my opinion He just wanted to see your reaction, or what you would do.
That way he knows next time he wants to try something that your up for it or just not.

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- Siendo
  Over a year ago
  ..Was there anything about the situation that made you think it was that rather then just a sign for straight up sex, there at that point?
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  I think you make a tremendous amount of sense.. Thanks.... It's a nice common ground, between player, & oblivious. :-)
0

squallz10

Over a year ago

He just wanted to mess around, it doesn't mean sex exactly.

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- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Sooo, what is a'different' way to say 'no' ? :-)
  
  & if yo do , does that mean that you have to stop kissing & etc. ?
  
  Do guys typically stop everything after that?
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Does it mean anything in particular - in your opinion... Ok, what I want to know, is guys say you can't get aroused & not cum.. But you can't come in your cloths - I mean you could but - gross.. So what is expected here.. I men even if I gave him a hand job, he would have come in his boxers & if not he would have been frustrated& we already agreed NOT to have SEX??
131

Synchronize

Over a year ago

Its a different way to ask " Lets have sex "

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- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Well I do not like using the term horny, I just did not have enough space to rite "When a guy wants to have sex". Is this true that guys will not say they want to? I never heard of that before. This I have never hear much of anything which is why I am writing on this site.:-)
  Are you saying that it is likely that he wanted to have sex, when he said he ddi not think it was a good i.. I mean, it is true, he did say he COULD just that we SHULD NOT... Bit, still, the parting decision was NO SEX.
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  Men prefers to lie to once topic comes to sex. Seriously its very rare to see a man says " Yes I would like to go inside you " even not that they tend to they are not interested at sex. However this is known fact but some men denies those I listed. Also horny men is completely different then normal men
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Ha, ha. I am not upset.. I was using caps lock to emphasize different words, not show stress.. Though I am confused ,because it seems obvious to me that it is not logical. Everything that people say, makes sense, but the fact that he spent tons of time saying he did not want to have sex, is overlooked... It is not consistent , to say he would think it meant sex, BECAUSE he said no, right before that.... Unless you are saying, that guys except that they loose all accountability when -HORNY?
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- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  Chill down there will ya ? If he moved your hand, than you should interrupt it and move your hand. If you didn't resist, then he will understand this as lets have sex. That's all
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  But HE PUT MY HAND THERE... I did not TOUCH hi.. I mean as far as EXPECTATION . I am not talking bout right or wrong, just expectation... If I don't put my hand there, but I do not move it away, is this taken as tho I put it there? ...& Outside of sex - which we just five min. previous decided NOT to do - what could be EXPECTED? I mean how could you do anything with CLOTHS ON withot it getting messed up??.. We were STANDING in the hallway... I was on my way to work. EXPECTATATON??
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  Most of men will react like this, its universal. Top on boxer ? Seriously even on your trousers it will be considered same. However if you touch a man below their head, all of us will consider this for green light for sex. This is nature of men.
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Are you sure? Like if I had 'stroked it' or whatever , he would have taken that a a green light for sex? I mean is that how YOU would take, or is it a universal guy 'sign'.. I was worreid about that. I mean it was ON TOP of his boxers, so I would have been ok with just that, but I could not figure out how to do anything without him expcting sex, & or reciperacating.. I mean IS there a WAY to touch a guy somewhere, WITHOUT him thinking you don't mind him touching you in same way?
  --Thoughts?
-1

funky5medina

Over a year ago

I would place the girls hand there because I would want her to rub it whether it be on the outside or the inside of my pants. doesn't mean I want to have sex, I just would want her to rub me..if it led to sex, that's ok too.

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- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  For how long? Really, I mean if someone started doing that, & a guy was interested on just that, how long would the the novelty to ware of.. I mean it's hard to stop doing something that someone else os enjoying jut cause you're arm is tired or something.... Are we talking minutes or hours :-)
-1

GIntrovert

Over a year ago

No, that wasn't a reflex. He wanted you to rub it.

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- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  I don't know. It's not something I would do the first time I kiss a girl.
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Do you think that is such a big deal?
  There seems to be two camps of opinion.... It's either disrespectful, or just part of making out..... We have known each other for a long time... We are not officially dating but we have been spending every day together month & I am the one who asked him if I could kiss him...... So technically we were not supposed to be making out or anything but I do not know if I would call it disrespectful since I was there of my own volition.... I was just surprised.
N/A

Over a year ago

He wants you bad tbh...

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- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Telling me he's really horny - - is that supposed to be a turn on a just a notification?
  I mean did he just want to let me know & decide accordingly, what I FELT like doing .... Or was he EXPECTING me to DO something about ? {In your opinion, of course.
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  Oooops. I'm kinda tired. Meant it to be "imho" not "tbh". Putting your hand onto his penis when it's hard. It's to tell you he's horny really.
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Define TBH......
2072

Subotai

Over a year ago

Its a horny cry for a helping hand. although he'd love a mouth even more or another opening. He hopes you will at least take his poor penis in its erect state out of those annoying pants, besides that little guy is trying to jump out and grab you on his own. Its not really a reflex its more of a desire that's so strong there really is no thinking. This isn't a great move on his part unless you liked it. I think he hoped his foreplay would warm you up enough to do that on your own. It's a sign of a little bit of impatience. I think he worries whether or not you find him sexually attractive If you don't want to do anything sexual with this guy you are going to have to politely end this couch party. If this is the case you should ask yourself how did you end up in this situation with a guy you didn't want to do anything with sexually to begin with. I am on no way making excuses for anyone that does anything coercive just saying for men sex is like a train the breaks are hard to put on the train wants to keep going, hornyness is a crazy crazy feeling

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- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  You sai something about the impatience being a sign of him worrying about me finding him sexually attractive - could you explain.. Cause I do agree it was a but of impatience tho, not desperation... Maybe overly 'enthusiastic' - for me, at that particular time. th ething about having to talk to him.. We DID just talk about it & decided to go anywhere beyond kissing, so that is why I am confused - he did NOT WANT any sexual contact... HE said he was worried 'things would change' . {Why?}
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  "It's not a reflex. It's more of a desire that's so strong there really is no thinking about it." {What is the difference?} 2. This isn't a great move on his part , unless you liked it." {What do you mean - You mean because he could have offended me?} 3. It's a sign of a little bit of impatience" {You mean cause he did not wait for me to do it , or he did not think I would?} 4. He worries you don't find him sexually attractive" {What would give him that impression?}
  
  -Your answer was interesting
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  He sounds hella nervous. He obviously wants to do it. Do you, well go for it then. If not cool things down a bit with the making out and physical contact
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- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Wow, That was beautiful. Thanks, I mostly think of sex as people either wanting it or not -and the profound stuff happens at other times. Pretty cool. BTW. "Appear some what moral, maybe score some romance points" It did not seem romantic when he kept interrupting the kiss to tell me how we should not.. it just made me think 'he must not like me much if could be kissing me, and he would rather talk &worry... Seriously, if a guy really liked a girl, why would he stop, to worry about a kiss?
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  Maybe a little. A lot of times you hear about some accusation of abuse where a guy and a girl are making out in car and suddenly guy tocuhes girl and she suddenly says no and he doesn't stop. He should have stopped sure but no one says why did the girl let it get that far before she said no. For guys sex is like a series of steps or like a train the more momentum builds up or boner lol the harder it is to stop the train. Its a crazed state of mind it can be beautiful if both people are ready
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Your funny {Thats good}. So, he might have intended on keeping with his word but once we were kissing he got caught up in the moment- I know he was not PLANNING anything since I kissed him out of the blue.. I did not mean to make him think o wanted sex, idid not realize that guys will assume that just from a kiss- had never occurred to me, apparently everyone else thinks its obvious... Do you think I led him on? I like him but I just felt like kissing him , would that confuse most guys?
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  Well Its a little confusing my point is guys are pretty much down to do it from day one they might not want to appear that way or rush a girl. Maybe that was some kind of weird mind trick or maybe his self control to try to carry out what he said was overcome by desire. I don't know about him but my penis actually talks. And its very loud and can drown out reason, which isn't all that loud. After the touch then no I don't see him saying no
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Ok! Soooo, you are saying he WANTED me to play with it, or sex or anything that I would have ben ok with? I understand he did not say no after I MADE A MOVE, why would he say NO before HE DID. He really was quite ADAMANT about not wanting having sex... Like it was some really bad idea, like I did not get that it would change things..Was it trick psychology or something?
  Was he hoping I would be like"No, it's a GREAT IDEA?!
  It's kinda funny - -Still confused though.
  Thanks.
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  Well its not like you touched him and he said no. He put your hand where he wanted it, he was trying to get your hand in the right direction. It was the heat of the moment what memory isn't warmer than cuddling on the couch when your girlfriend reaches over and puts your hands on your pants and slowly pulls it out and plays with it. That's clearly what he wanted. Or he's really conflicted with himself
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  I agree with you its complicated....But HE was the one who said 'we should NOT have sex'. This is why I am confused.....He thought I WANTED TO HAVE SEX {Misunderstanding} , seemed quite worried& concerned, and repeatedly said it was not a good idea- was that an ACT?... Why would he say NO if he thought I WANTED SEX & once he said NO, why would he put my hand on his boxers after? I did not state clearly, I did not want sex, 'cause I thought he did not want to have sex... What happened?
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  Ok if he puts your hand on his penis he wants you to touch it obviously. The thing about I don't think we should have sex is sort of a lie. Pretty much if you don't want to have sex he doesn't he's trying to be nice and he's not trying to appear to eager or pushy and look somewhat moral maybe score some romance points. If you just out of the blue pushed him down on the bed and unzipped his pants he'd go for it. He wants it if you want it. Its complicated.
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  So... Do you think he was LYING when he said "We should not have sex" and was just SAYING that so - - well, WHY go thru all the trouble explaining how it was" not a good idea", with that intention. .. He thought ' I ' wanted it, why not just say OK - if that is what he wanted.. seemed quite worried about it {Why do you think he was WORRIED} Also , are you saying he wanted me to put my hand INSIDE, - I think he'd freak if I DID& if I didn't lol... Pretty confusing....What do you think?
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Isn't a desire that is so strong, that there is no thinking " the same as a reflex-- when you do something without thinking - though I do like the way you put it much better... It's ore colorful.
  Guys are funny... I totally like him, I think he knows that..We had a misunderstanding.. He thought I WANTED to have sex, so he said that we SHOULD not ,cause it changes things etc {he was not ACTING like that, but I think he was trying hard to not give I to desire- which why I was shocked when he...
614

Ollie

Over a year ago

He wants to get funky.

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4680

armyguy176

Over a year ago

rofl. I love girl questions they are all so easy...it means he wants to get "sexual" with you. nothing in particular, he just wants you.

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- Siendo
  Over a year ago
  What if they were already being sexual?
  I think it says they were?
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  That was funny !
1149

SkinnerOne

Over a year ago

OK. First of all, you are obsession on this one. But that's ok because you keep referring back to the one word RESPECT. I like that. I like that a LOT! Good for you for being so keep on the respect of others. Is your culture middle eastern by chance? Just curious.

The guy was trying to signal you that it's OK for you to touch him too. I get the feeling though that there is something in your background that taking the initiative to touch him is wrong or that holds a woman's showing any initiative in sexual contact as being wrong in some manner. If that is the case then you need to consider your moral upbringing and your community standards. Some cultures can be quite harsh in their views.

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- ArabSweetie
  Over a year ago
  My culture is middles eastern but I'm pervy (and proud of it haha :P) I like boys and their bodies a lot... maybe too much loll I always check them out.... boys are so hot I wish I could have them all... I'm almost horny right now just thinking about it HAHAA =D
36980

Littletad

Over a year ago

It can only go one or two ways. Either he wanted a blowjob or a handjob. No matter how "soft" he did it, that's what he wanted. If he wanted sex, he would have removed your... and you get the idea.

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- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  Why are you dating a guy whose that experienced? Sounds more like a player to me. If your barely dating, then yeah, he's after you for nothing more than sex. Run away if that's true.
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Thank you for answering directly...... That is not very normal if you have never done that with a particular girl though right. I mean I've never touched him there before, I've never had sex - he's had lots..... I do not know if that was disrespectful, because I was there of my own volition. Do you think I should be insulted ?
26336

cjwright79

Over a year ago

I'll go with yes. That's my final answer.

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26336

cjwright79

Over a year ago

No I wouldn't ask. If you want your hands on my junk they'll find their way there. I don't need to ask you anything. It's no less disrespectful to ask. It's like asking a bear not to eat you. It's just silly.

You have 500 characters left
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  I'm a little weary of this. You can figure things out on your own I'm sure.
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Hi. Ok, first you said it is no big deal. Then you said it was rude. Now you are comparing your junk to a bear??
  I was hoping to see it as no big deal. I was worried it was disrespectful. You are saying that it is equally rude to ask as touch. Does that mean you never touch, and that you would find the person you were with to be rude if they did? If no one can touch or ask, what is it exactly, that is suppose to happen?
  Thanks!
26336

cjwright79

Over a year ago

Yes it is disrespectful. If you wanted to touch his penis I'm sure you'd find a way to see to that.

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486

lover-dude34

Over a year ago

yeah ok. that indicates that he wants you to give him a handjob.
but I'l suggest you and try and tease him for a while, like few days or so.
then do so if you get comfortable.
this way you'l get time to know the guy better and have good time together:)

You have 500 characters left
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  9months is way to long period for your relationship according to me.mine doesn't even last for 2months at the max.
  What I suggest is that you should not think over it too much.because this over thinking is creating bad image about your relationship and if trust is broken then relationship has no value.
  So a solution to it is you get along with him,slowly slowly spice yp your bed-room life, cause if he's waited for so long then you need to respect him.secondly there isn't any prob in giving bj with one hand. Just give it up,relax your self.
  Enjoy wild time together
  I assure this with strengthen your bond with him.
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Can you give a guy a hand job with one hand? If I do not intend on having sex and he wants to won't he get bored if I give him a hand job that soon ?
  If he really liked me wouldn't he have waited....We were physically intimate about 9 months ago. - first time we kissed since 9 months ago and about ten min. later he did that . ... I was extremely surprised. Do you think it means he lost respect for me ?
  What do you guys and you GUYS think - - Thanks!
N/A

Over a year ago

He's waving a flag asking you to be sexual with him. I wold never do this as it seems more rude than manly.

You have 500 characters left
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  Just disrespectful, it takes trust not instinct.. my feelings on it anyways
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  If we were already sort of making out is it still rude? I mean I think I see what you are saying. Especially since if he THOUGHT about it he would have to be aware of the fact that I do not know what that means.... I stopped everything {calmly } Had I known he did not mean sex, or that he was presumptous, I may have stayed... But I am not that experienced and I was a little surprised.... Is it possible a guy would do it instinctively without thinking? Do any of you think it
  disrespectful?
26336

cjwright79

Over a year ago

It's basically saying, hey, this is my penis. He'd really like some attention right now. No biggie if you aren't interested, but if you are, well that would be so cool. No pressure though... so here it is. There you are! What's gonna happen!

You have 500 characters left
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  Yeah it really is interesting isn't it! Totally fascinating. Moods change -- who knew it!
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  I was just looking at this , and its funny cause your first answer was like right on - center...... Then you went in a totally opposite direction.... Just funny how you made so much sense in the beginning when you just reacted without thinking too much about it..... Then you became increasingly antagonistic towards your own initial view. {I'm not writing this to irritate you, or to provoke a response ....... I honestly thought your first answer was great, & it was interesting how it changed.}
- lollipopgirl23
  Over a year ago
  Lmao...

What Girls Said

-1

lisa_username

Over a year ago

he just wants to play with it and caress it. that's what I want when I put my bfs hands on my boobies

You have 500 characters left
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  hmm I didn't think that's like boobs I thought its more like your vag, to I guess its not invasive- so maybe yea- thank you! :-)
0

Hulka

Over a year ago

Maybe he's trying to get you turned on. Heck, maybe he wants to get turned on too. Its probably a sign that he's really comfortable around you and he wants you to be comfortable around him too. I don't think it had to with sex, because he would have been ripping your clothes off. :)

You have 500 characters left
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  & I only just gave you an arrow lol sorry :)
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  Lol. Your welcome.
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Lol
  
  thank you very much for the direct accurate example .. I agree :)
N/A

Over a year ago

He wants you to touch his penis. Simple...

You have 500 characters left
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  :-) I've known him for three years.
  
  When we met he never dud anything like that but he knew I was not very experienced, he doesn't know that now..
  
  I like ihm a lot & I have no reason to top hanging out with him because of one misunderstanding, he didn't try anything again as I was obviously not comfortable..
  
  Anyways I was also curious about guys in general.
  
  I do not now why it would help me to stop hanging with him when all guys have a penis.
  
  No worries - I don't feel crazy just curious*
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  Stroked it. The first time it happened was with my really good friend and he told me what he liked and didn't like so it was easy to do it and I could tell he enjoyed it. If this is a RANDOM guy, then don't touch his penis. Find someone you have a connection with.
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  My advice is stop hanging out with this guy altogether. His sexual experience is clearly making you go nuts (pardon the expression. I'm not sure if you really are nuts.) Since I had more sexual experience, something like that wouldn't bother me. But, I do remember a time when I never did anything with anyone and it DID bother me. What I did in that situation was STOPPED hanging out with that guy. OR, I touched his penis because I wanted to see what it felt like and his reaction if I
Show Older Comments
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Do people usualy like that?
  
  I thought it was just to pleasure hm?
  
  Do uys think that girls like t, I mean is it suposed to be a nice thing t- to invite someine to touch your penis?
  
  I just don't want to give the idea I want sex & people say talk about but liker in that situation we just DID talk about it it for 215 minutes. -
  
  I figured I was blowing it out of proportion ,but just I case I stopped everything... You see, I had never said no, because he DID say no, so I didn't think I' had to.
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  It's up to you. If you never touched a penis before I could see that it's a bit nerve racking. The more experience you have with being sexual the more you will know what you want, what you like, and if you want to just touch a guy's penis because you like it.
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Ok. Don't go further as in do not touch him ( penis) , or do not do MORE than touch him?
  
  I wouldn't accidentally do anything more, because I have no experience with this, so it doesn't naturally occur to me...
  
  I was totally shocked when he put my hand there - I can't imagine doing that to anyone - I forgot people do things like that lol
  
  Thanks.
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  Regardless of what idea you want to give him, he will still want you to touch his penis. He probably wants to have sex with you too. So, you can't really determine what idea you're giving him, only what you're doing with him. You can only control your own actions. So, to not give him any idea, then don't go any further with him. But, don't act surprised if he wants it (regardless if you want to give it to him or not.)
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  I am not worried about ihm MAKING me do something - or even TRYING tomake me do something I don't want to,.
  
  I am just worried about giving ihm the wrng idea..
  
  Like I am ok with touching it on top of cloths & I am ok with stroking it, but I do not want to give a HJ , BJ or have sex.
  
  I am nt really making it complicated, I do ont know enough to do that, I am just comparing everything people have been saying trying to make sense out of it.
  
  There is no way I am having sex- no need to warn me :)
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  Your mouth. You don't have to have sex with him if you don't want to.
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  By having him put your hand on his crotch, it doesn't mean that you guys will/want/will have sex. It has nothing to do with sex. He wanted you to touch it because it feels good. It's not as complicated as you're making it seem. If you didn't like it, then don't do it. ArabSweetie had it right. If you didn't like it, just move it, and say "I don't want to go any further with you." If you want to give him a handjob, well then you'd have to touch it. And next time, he may want to put it in
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Ok.
  Thank you -
  
  Sooo if I don't move my hand away, it doesn't mean I want to have sex?
  
  I mean is there a way to do that without implying you want to have sex?
  
  WE had already talked about NOT having sex, like 5 minutes before that... Everyone says that means sex, so I was confused.
  
  Also, how would I know when to stop, I mean is there a standard time you are supposed to do that for?
  
  If he puts my hand on TOP of cloths, -different meaning right?
  
  Do you think it is ok for guys to DO that?
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  And why? Because it feels good.
-1

liltaylz911

Over a year ago

well I think it is a way of telling you he was turned on and he wanted to see if you were too, and if so, he would probably expect you to put your hands down there, initiating a handjob.

You have 500 characters left
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  What if I was turned on - but not in the 'hand job giving kind of away' ? { Plus I've never given one before} How would I maneuver out of that without offending him? Or , making him think I was offended by his move?
  It's not strange, right ? - I mean, if we were already making out, it is pretty normal?
5115

HaggardDiva

Over a year ago

This question is pretty old, but I want to throw my thoughts in. I HATE it when guys do that. I don't know what it is, but it drives me crazy and often turns me off when they do it. And the funny thing is I even like guys taking control sometimes, either taking complete control or giving it all to me, I rarely like an equal playing field, but sometimes. Sorry, anyways, but I truly hate it when they do that. There have been times that I've shut down the play because of it.

You have 500 characters left
- Siendo
  Over a year ago
  I agree. There is something that turns me off about it too.
  
  - I think it would make me feel used. Like a lot of guys have said,let her find it herself.
  -I wonder if guys think it is a turn on, or the just don't care?
  
  Why do you HATE it?
950

svon25

Over a year ago

Just means he is horny and wants some attention

You have 500 characters left
9

babbyx13

Over a year ago

I definitely would not think that is disrespectful if he is your boyfriend but if not maybe he is going a little overboard. In my opinion I think that he wanted a little bit on a handjob and maybe even the start of sex. I have had that happen to me before and after my hand was on his penis for a while I unbuttoned his pants and gave him a hand job and he unbuttoned my pants and fingered me. But y best friend was in that same situation as you are in and her expirence ended with a simple handjob. So I just depend on the guy and I guess the mood he's in. Every expirence ends with a different solution.

You have 500 characters left
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  This probably sounds weird, but I was worried about how I would feel doing it but also what he would think of me, eve tho he is the one who put my hand on his his pants.. The thing is I have been with him long ago, but h knew I was a virgin then& we went VERY slow. {Everyone flirts with me now, so he might think I am more experienced , I'm NOT} So I was shocked.. it's not like I don't trust him & I am not look for a relationship but I like him , not sure if it was morally ok. to help him?
615

ArabSweetie

Over a year ago

its ok, its not a big deal. When I put his hand on my ass the first time its just that I wanted to encourage him to caress me, because he was shy lol its just like guiding your partner to do something you love or maybe in his case he wanted you to see that you were making him horny, but really... I wouldn't worry about it

You have 500 characters left
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  "hapenned a month ago,you really still think about it?"
  
  Yeah lol, I left the country - (not because of that ^ ^) for a workshop, & that is the next to last last interaction I had with him, so it sticks out & I just want to make sure I know what I am doing should anything like that happen again with him or anyone.. IT is not simply about him ,i want to know how guys think about these things..
  
  I ask, but everyone gives me advice about what I should do, when that is not really what I want to know
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  Theres always a way to go back lol, he didn't try to froce you you know, you said it yourself. it hapenned a month ago, do you really still think about it? I'm sure if he knew it would confuse you like that he woulnt do it lol like seriously I don't know what to tell you. I mean nobody knows exactly what he ment by putting your hand here but YOU know what you what or not with him. If it was to much for you to handle then move your hand and telle him you don't wanna get sexual.
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  To have sex, nor did I want things to go any further physically.. I could not see ow to touch him casually - THERE- while not having it lead to sex, & still maintaining a connection , with out him touching me there... I cold not see how I could just move my hand somewhere more casual & go back to kissing.. Once he moved it down I could not see how he would not be offended, or feel rejected if moved it anywhere else -without sex & or him recipricating the touch..
  Is thee a way to go BACK?
Show Older Comments
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  So, do you think he was maybe trying to tell em that I was turning him on? {i think that is big in his book. - SEriously, like I don' think of it as a compliment , but lots of people do}
  Or that he just wanted me to caress it.. I guess the problem I had with that, is I ddi not see how it would and go further- I mean if that is basically the center of the earth for guys, how could it not be a let down once I moved my hand some where else? { I did not mind my hand there for abit, but I did not want
3191

CestLolaVie

Over a year ago

He just wants you to touch his penis, through his pants, rub it, caress it, like for sexual tension. Its not a big deal, its like when you want a guy to touch your nipples through your shirt while making out. Its not a BJ or a HJ like everyone else suggested. Its just to get things steaming.

You have 500 characters left
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Thank you.
  I think it's great someone can answer without turning it into a moral issue.. I can do that well enough on my own....lol.
  I hate to ruin the simple nature of your response, but if things get steaming, what are they getting steaming for? I mean I don't mind doing that thru clothing, but would that cause him assume that I was ok with going further after that... Or what if he got really aroused, then really wanted sex, then I'd have to stop that would be awkward. I don't want sex now.
150

Cherrychix6

Over a year ago

If you like him and want to have a sexual relationship with him than that is fine just use protection everytime. Also if you like him but don't want to have a sexual relationship right now then talk to him about it. Being honest is best.

You have 500 characters left
1789

CrazynKinky

Over a year ago

He wasn't a hand job

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-1

confusedgirl22

Over a year ago

hes just chancing his arm, seeing if you will actually give him a handjob/blowjob. but don't fall for it! Don't give him handjob/bj in this situation. its like some guy trying to have sex with you on the first date. eh yeah right...so not gona happen! I agree wit the guys who say he's disrespecting you-if you go ahead and do it, he will think you're easy/bit slutty afterwards and won't call you again! or just use you as booty call. sorry to be blunt bt I call it as I see it! =)

You have 500 characters left
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Hi.. Well yah I was a bit shocked at the time , so I just had an exit cause I was supposed to meet someone anyways... Are you really sure it is disrespectful - I mean maybe it bit bold, but I am nt sure he was disrespecting me.... I mean we spend lots of time together, we are not going out - I have too much going on right now-but he has liked me for a long time , and honestly, he thought I wanted to have sex- seriously he really misundestod, and he said he did not think that we should have sex
78

spendy

Over a year ago

noo I odnt think is disrespectful.. he wants you to touch him..if he's ur boyfriend then why not..but if you guys are not dating then yeah I would assume he jsut wants a bit of fun..good luck.. guys are pigs!

You have 500 characters left
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Well, I do not know what we are, I know has feelings for me- I mean other kinds of feelings not just sex- but I am not sure exactly what that means, I do not know what to do since we been friends long time. The whole incident was a bit of a miscommunication {He misunderstood my meaning , and thought I was telling him I wanted to have sex} Not sure what to do... Is it disrespectful if we are friends, and he thought I was asking- literally asking - not 'asking for it'}?
  
  Thanks!
N/A

Over a year ago

my boyfriend did that to me and I thought it would be a "it turn on because I have never had sex" and that's what he told me when I asked what are you doing

You have 500 characters left
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  I am not sure if it really was a turn on lol I was to busy think what he was doing! but because he knows that I have never had sex before he know I would not know what he wanted me to do..... lol I pulled my hand away
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  WERE you turned on?
  I was too shocked to know I felt, then as soon a is realized what the implications might be I was trying to figure what he was actually thinking , or thinking I was thinking... I was not expecting to be doing much of anything.. It was a bit weird just because I'm not used to thinking of myself in the same thought as a penis lol.. I guess I personally would not hasve done that, but he likes to shock people somtimes - in a relatively safe way {Hand was on top of boxers}
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Was it a turn on to you? I was to surprised to think about if it was aturn on.. afterwords it was till a weird thought- I'm not used to thinking of myself and a penis in the same thought- then I got caught up trying to figure out what he wanted me to do.... I really do not know what I thought because I was busy trying to figure out what he thought I wass thinking... me I probably would not do that with some one unless I knew they wantedme to, but he is different and I think he likes the risk
34014

Reeses-pieces777

Over a year ago

what do you think he wants you to think? I think it's a pretty obvious answer...

You have 500 characters left
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Sadly, I do not think it is obvious.....Apparently oit could be a whole host of conflicting things.. I do not think anything is that simple.......To be fair I gave this fairly out of context , so I cannot expect a specific answer for a general question... But is still think even generally, the answer could be varied - what do you think?
  {Just wanted peoples opinions anyway.... I'm new at this- Like REAlLY new......... Not to overstate the obvious}
956

Girl15

Over a year ago

i don't think its disrespectful..i think he just wants you to feel his penis..and doesn't mean he wants a handjob or anything..

You have 500 characters left
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  Your welcome! and lol a background check that's really stupid..just becuz he wanted you too feel his penis..sometimes people get extra touchy feely..no disrespect what so ever..
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  I love your answer... It's like so human and simply , and it does not require anynoe involved get a background check or fingerprinted - Thanks!
-1

TheFatTwig

Over a year ago

I don't think it's disrespectful. I mean, it depends on the situation. But generally I think it's the guy trying to get a hand job. And your reaction lets him know a lot of things. It lets him know whether you're interested in sexual activities and how experienced you are, but generally when he puts it down there he's just thinking about getting himself a nice hj.

You have 500 characters left
N/A

Over a year ago

It's only disrespectful if it's inappropriate to your relationship (eg, you just met, etc.) Given that you'd apparently had some type of intimacy before, then no, it isn't disrespectful, especially if you are in the middle of making out. He was just making further advances. If that's not what you want, just move your hand and let him know you aren't ready to go there. If he continues to advance, THEN he's being disrespectful.

You have 500 characters left
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  "How he acts will determine his respect for you"
  Ok... He stopped right away , looked like he felt awkward... Was totally everything...Next time we hung out he would not even kiss me. Then the next time it lead up to us doing SOMETHING {Can't say what exactly since we stopped again, and again he was cool about it).... After he found out I was a virgin, he does not try anymore, and we hang out every day-- a player or just a guy?
  
  I know this is old - I just noticed sent it to wrong poster :)
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  How he acts next will determine his respect for you. If you respectfully said that you weren't ready for that and he accepts that without become abusive, argumentative, coercive, or pouty, and he continues to date you (while waiting) and get to know you, then you know he respects you.
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  Well, I stopped things {calmly} because I did not know if that meant he wanted sex..... Or even if he just wanted a HJ what if he got really aroused and then wanted it to go further?
  Also I was a little worried - this sounds weird but I was on my way to work and what if it got 'messy'.
  We were together for a couple of weeks nine months ago - it was intense for me because that was my first anything... He's had experience.... I value the friendship so..... RESPECT is major. How can you know?
4818

Titi18

Over a year ago

i don't think that's disrespectful at all.

You have 500 characters left
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  He still has not tried anything, is he still a 'player'?
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  I do not disagree with you, and as I have asked for your opinion, I for the moment defer to you... I simply do not want to make hasty decision, as he is an important person in my life... If he is a player, I can have no friendship with him as I will have lost all respect.... I do not willingly have shallow friendships... Could you elaborate on "Player" in this scenario?
  I should add he no longer attempts sex.. We just talk lots, makes extra effort for no physical contact.
  Thank you.
- Answerer
  Over a year ago
  Player
Show Older Comments
- Question Asker
  Over a year ago
  "How he acts will determine his respect for you"
  Ok... He stopped right away , looked like he felt awkward about that or something else... Was totally cool about everything... The next time we hung out he would not even kiss me. THEN the next time did bunch of things to ,lead up to us doing SOMETHING{Can't say what exactly since we stopped again, and again he was cool about - but he did try again.... I'm confused.... He does not try anymore and we hang out a lot- make him a player or just guy?

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