I have a friend that just lost her virginity. It was her first time and she was only dating the guy for a few months. When she lost it, she told all of us that "she was happy that it was over with".
We asked her if she was in love with him and she said no, and my other friends said that you can't live that way. Like, you do date people and then just have sex with them, and not be in love, because you can't just wait for that "one person" and you may as well do it, and you can't live like that.
I personally have this thing where I'm always looking for that "perfect someone" and no one seems to measure up to what I'm actually looking for (i do admit that some of my expectations are unreasonable, but there are just some things about people I can't stand! ). So, I know I'm not going to immediately end up with the "right guy" or that it may ever happen, but if I do get into a relationship, should I just sleep with him to get it out of the way and be prepared for the future or what?
First, live as you think you should. Listening to the advice of friends is fine, but you'll have to live with the consequences, and this is one of those things that cannot be undone. (I'd also be a bit suspicious of any "because everyone does"/"that's just how people live" arguments. )
Second, It's not something that belongs on a to-do list, and treating it that way will only cheapen things. (Doesn't sound like it was all that thrilling for your friend, does it? ) Besides, it may not matter much to you now, but how would you feel if your "right guy" came along and thought less of you for tarting it up with someone you didn't even care for?
I have sex for many reasons. For the pleasure of giving and receiving. For the fact that I love women. Sometimes I look to commit to a woman and sex skips the troublesome stuff. I do it because I hate loneliness and screwing blow up dolls and masturbation really sucks rotten milk with lumps(meaning: nothing like the real thing). I am now too old to have sex with 100,000 women so I gave up on that quest. I never once thought of sex as a means to just use women for my own desires, I like to please women more than I like to receive pleasure. Yep, you heard that from a man too!
I feel virginity is overrated. There is no such thing as the "perfect person" so I also gave up on that crap of "saving for the right person". I am not suggesting that you jump just anybody, but I would never discourage a woman from putting out. Make sense yes? In regards to your standards, no surprise here. I rarely hear young women claim they want Mr. Good Enough or Mr. Glad He's A Man. Not American women anyway.
Well that goes along with morals. Some people have casual sex just to feel that pleasure, with no attachments. But it all comes down with morals. It seems like she just wanted to experience something new and her curiosity got the best of her. Well don't do something ur not ready for. But its a awesome experience communicating with 2 bodies in that way when its with the right person you can really feel the mind and body connect. But to find the perfect guy first you must perfect your self, if you are attracting the wrong guys its because who you are. So you gotta make ur self better to find better. Make sense? Good?
Umm I am just like you. No one seems to measure up to my standards and I am starting to believe that it might not happen. So it is not like I am waiting until marriage just waiting for that someone , but sometimes I just want to get it out of the way. I don't think I should wait until I am in love because at this point I figure it might take a long time until I really fall for someone but of course I am not just giving it to anyone I will be giving it to someone I want or that I feel something for.
You should do what feels right to you. My first time was with someone just to get it out of the way, but when I tell people about my first time, I never tell them about him. It's always the next guy that I felt like I was in love with. I don't regret just getting it out of the way but sometimes I wonder what it would've been like had I waited.
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