I can't believe some of these posts I'm reading. 6 weeks? years? to hold out on the most beautiful emotional connection 2 people can have together? What for? Why would you want to put someone through waiting when you know fairly quickly by the time you meet someone whether or not your going to be "comfortable" with them? what is comfortable? The girls who answered this question need to explain to the guys what they mean when they say "wait until you feel comfortable with the person". If you have been involved with a romantic partner for a month, 2 months, 6 months, you know way before hand whether or not your comfortable with them. If you're having oral sex with them, then your damn comfortable with them to have sex with them.
I think what it boils down to is simply one word. Maturity.
I've come to find out that there are just not that many sexually mature women in their late teens, early 20s. They might say some bullshit like, I'm waiting for the right guy, or , until I'm comfortable, or marriage but honestly their just nervous because they feel like the guy their with will leave them afterwards. Probably because that's what an ex did or something which is probably why a lot of girls won't have sex early on is because they can't get rid of the pain some asshole guy put them through.
Men don't stick around too long if their not getting sex. That's the whole reason why men get into relationships, and if any man disagrees then he is lying to himself and doesn't want to look like a perv in front of women. I'm not ashamed of my sexuality. It's what I was born to do and I'm not a slut for enjoying sex either, which is a trap that women don't want to fall into but if I were a woman, I would much rather want to be known as a slut than a prude any day of the week.
Women need to realize that if you want to keep a man in a long term relationship, you should probably make up your mind quickly to have sex with him because he will leave. Test it for yourself, see how many dates you can find that will stick around when you tell them your not going to have sex with them. I guarantee they won't last long at all which is a shame because then everyone suffers.
it's just sad, to know that women can't make up their minds because there are a lot of good guys out there who don't deserve this bullshit. and I'm one of them.
It's our choice whether we want to put out for someone or not - It doesn't mean we're immature - it means we're selective. Personally, I wouldn't put out for someone with the attitude you are displaying here. Many times women are looking for guys who are marriage material. If a woman knows that a guy is only into her pussy, she is not going to want to even go out with him because she knows it's only about sex and he's not really into her as a person. - 3 months ago
I waited five years with my last girlfriend. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done and we ended up breaking up after all of that. She was Catholic and I'm Atheist but I respected and loved her so. I waited.
If there isn't sex by the 3rd date, there isn't going to be. At that point, people have figured out if they are interested or not. When someone tells me that they want to wait on sex, I generally take that as a "no" and move on. So far, I haven't regretted that position.
Wow, by the 3rd date? Do you even know anything about her by then? To say there isn't going to be any sex if it's not there by the 3rd date is grossly inaccurate, in my opinion. Some women have a great deal of self-respect and hold that level of intimacy in high regard...reserving it for those men with whom they have an intense emotional connection - as opposed to treating it like a contact sport. - 3 months ago
You wait until you are secure with him, but don't wait for any longer than 2 months or else a man will feel he's wasting his time in a one-sided relationship. Guys want sex NOW and not later but if they really like you, they will wait. But only for a while.
Discard any notions about waiting until marriage. No longer does this have any validity. In the old days, women were fertile in their early 20's which was right around time for marriage anyway. In the past 20 years, women have been found being fertile as young as age 12! Meaning the drive for children starts earlier than ever but by the time women gets settled into their careers and stop bashing men, they don't want kids. Secondly, nothing worse than waiting until marriage, you have sex a few times, then a woman decides to stop. Absurd. Thirdly, nothing can replace experience. You want to discover if your possible life partner can satisfy you. Those who marry and turn out to be a lousy lay, gets into affairs. Bad. Finally, how can you love someone yet have no trust in having sex? Illogical.
Take my word for it, don't wait until marriage but take your time and do it only when YOU are ready, not the guy. Men always want sex. If after say 5 dates in a 2 month span you are not ready to put out, don't be surprised if he looks for someone else.
That's incorrect actually...women in the "old days" were also fertile very young. In fact, as long as 2000 years ago, women married between the ages of 14-16 because those were their prime childbearing years. The drive for sex begins earlier than say 50 years ago because children are inundated with sexual messages and imagery and are living in a time where social norms have shifted significantly. The biological case you're building just isn't so. - 3 months ago
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(Age:Under 18)
When: 3 months ago
All guys want to have sex as soon as possible. If you want to keep him on you do it as soon as possible.
I really want to wait until I am married, but, if the right guy comes along and I love him, I will wait until I feel completely comfortable... "coltdiddy"... this means to feel secure, in every aspect of the relationship. I want to know I am not being played, I want to feel 99.9999% certain nothing bad could come of it. I want to feel confident and certain of myself and my feelings.
I'm pretty young, so in the two relationships I've been in since I was 15 I waited a year in one and six months in the other. I'm sure in the future when I'm older I won't wait as long, but for now when I'm in a serious relationship I wait a pretty long time.
It depends on the people involved and quite possibly also what kind of relationship you want it to be. My current relationship -> maybe about 4 months. But, neither of us were virgins and there was oral sex about 40 times (each) before actual sex happened.
Deciding how long you should wait is a very personal decision! No one can tell you what is right for you! I think it is important that you feel comfortable with the person. If you are truly wanting a relationship, not just a fling, wait as long as you can! If the guy cares about you and wants a relationship too he will wait! I'm not saying you have to wait a year or anything. Just don't give in to your immediate desires. My boyfriend and I waited 6 weeks before sleeping together - and believe me it wasn't easy - but it was completely worth it!
Don't listen to Archer 86 - Not all men will leave you if you don't put out! The good one's will stick around! While sex is great - it is not what makes a relationship! I think you should establish a relationship before involving sex! Make sure the two of you are on the same page as far what you are looking for. Having sex too early can cloud your judgment of the other person and can alter your decision on whether or not he is right for you! Good Luck!
I've usually held out for a couple weeks. Not like it's some sort of rule, I just like to feel comfortable with the guy first. Only once did I do it on the first date, but we'd known each other for years so that seemed different. I'm 29 though and most of the guys I've been with lately have been in their 30s. When I was younger it took me a little longer.
(Age:Under 18)
When: 3 months ago
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 3 months ago
