It seems like all the girls I'm attracted to are too young to feel the same about me, or they aren't into men at all. I just don't find women my age attractive ( at least not ones who are available ). Do I subconsciously seek out women who spell heartbreak?
Update: I didn't mean to make it sound as if they are available that makes them unattractive. Far from it. But the ones I am attracted to are usually already attached, which makes perfect sense. They are going to be quickly pursued and not available for long.
3 months ago
I understood, I just wasn't sure how young the woman are that your attracted to. I didn't know if they where to young to have anything really in common with you.
I have very young parents. My parents are from Naples, Italy and married at 14 and 15. They came to the states and by the time my mom and Dad where 17 and 18 they had two kids a mortgage and so. I grew up listen to the doors; yes, aerosmith; todd lundgren; three dog nights; and so on. My Mom just turned 60 and my Dad is going to be 61 this month. So when I meet someone in there in there 50's I can relate and have things in common because my brothers and I grew up with our parents. My parents couldn't speak english nor could they read it. So we had to do all those things. Well my Dad went to night school and learned when we where babies. But they still struggled. So I get along with older men. But this is rare!
So it seem you have bad timing. They are taken or not ready to get into a relationship!
Curious where do you meet woman? Internet? Bars.? Coffee shops? Church?
I just read your remark about some not knowing they are unavailable. I never thought about it that way. I did encounter one who was single and hard to get for about 2 weeks once my interest became clear. Then she did a 180. Maybe I need to ignore the words and go more with my gut reaction. I have met the majority in clubs with a very diverse age group. But they tend somewhat to arrive as couples. After I quit drinking, few people were as amusing or interesting. Funny how that is. - 3 months ago
You quite possibly could be. Younger women (20-25) a lot of the time are looking for a good time and are usually in pursuit of someone 35 years of age or younger. Nowadays women that are 50 and younger are becoming what are known as cougars. They feel young sexy and energetic and what the same thing. They usually find what they want in a younger man. It has been said that a woman reach their sexual peak at 45 and men reach their sexual peak at around 25. So I don't know But you do need to understand that most women that are 35 and younger (especially younger than 30) are in a different place than you are being over 45. Just my opinion. And I am talking about some women not all.
Dollface: Let me clue you in. Men are at their sexually peak at 18 and woman don't hit their sexual peak until 35 or older. As for older woman dating younger men. Trust me it ain't for the sex because young guys screw like rabbits and cum way to fast. They don't know the first thing about passion. But some immature older woman who are vain like to be seen with a yonger guy and have the need to feel young again for lots of reason I won't get into. menopause can start at 45 - 3 months ago
Maybe you go out with single people who really are not available because you don't want the responsibility of a relationship...relationships are a lot of work especially with these young woman today.
I do understand however, I am 42 and my last partner was 59 and my current boyfriend who I have been with now for 16 mo's is almost 52. I have always been attracted to men who are older than me....I just can't stand dealing with immature assholes and I have no desire to sleep with some young guy who screw like a jack rabbit and cums in two mins...also they usually don't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out....and I have my own money I work in the legal field but I certainly don't want to go out with someone who isn't established...I like to travel and dine in decent restaurants and I can afford to......also so many guys my age have young kids and sorry but I already raised my kids....and extended family never works anyway. I don't know where your finding these young girls or just how young they. I suggest you date woman no younger than 40....you most likely have better luck also there are lots of woman in there 40's who still look great. Most people this I am between 28-34. When they see me with my 20 year old son. They can't believe he is my son. When I went out with the 59 year old guy, everyone thought I was his daughter!
Early 40's is a great age. I don't think I'm seeking out unavailable women, but I could be wrong. Often you have to talk to someone a couple times before you find out what their true status is. One woman said she was separated and it turned out she wasn't. But most of the time the attraction is there before I know the story. Some I know say they aren't ready for a relationship when they are. For a while I wasn't trying at all and that tends to not work well for some strange reason. - 3 months ago
Answerer
What I mean about unavailable is they don't even know it. Some people are not emotionally healthy. And even though they are single they don't have the capacity to maintain a relationship so instead of admitting this they find stuff wrong with you.
We are usually attracted first that's what makes us ask or accept. The problem is your creating physical intimacy before you get to know these girls. - 3 months ago
Question Asker
40's sounds great. If I know up front that they are unavailable, I don't try to go out with them. But when I meet someone who makes and impression, usually I find that they are attached, not looking or want someone younger than they are. I don't think I avoid commitment, so I'm wondering if this is typical. If it's not, maybe I need to look inward. - 3 months ago
Most people do little when they're unconscious except drool. I think you are aren't tempering your expectations to be realistic. I learned awhile ago that the people I am most strongly attracted to are bad for me (I really like crazy women). With that in mind, I assessed what I had to offer and what I could reasonably expect in return. I found that there are a lot of wonderful women out there who aren't my first physical choice (in a perfect world where I am rich, young, and beautiful) who are exceptional lovers and companions.
I'm over forty, married and balding, I am not top shelf but there are some who find merit in me anyway. I try to be gracious and return the interest.
I don't have expectations that lots of women should be attracted to me. But I'm also faced with the prospect of soon being into my 60's. I don't think I look or act like a lot of other guys my age, but the clock isn't working in my favor. And I know what you mean about crazy women who are bad for me, but what a way to go out. - 3 months ago
I'm probably not going to answer your question but had to toss in my two cents.
We're in the same age range and I have to agree with you about not finding women in our age group that are attractive (physically and emotionally) AND single.
Those that are available are available for a reason. It may sound shallow, but they have let themselves go, are mildly insane, or a combination of the two.
Are you single? Because if you are then the same could be said about you. That you let yourself go, are mentally unstable or both. Don't lump ALL women over the age of 45 as those things - 3 months ago
I would have to agree with you to some degree because I look at woman who are even younger than me and think. My God look how heavy she is or how old she looks for her age. I see girls in their teens who are huge. What's happening here. And yes, lots of large young men. I am 42 years of age. Act age appropriate, take care of myself and I only weight 125 pounds. - 3 months ago
Remember, in the world of dating there are more rejections than acceptances. No need to get down on yourself. Keep your head high, have confidence, keep searching and you'll find the right girl for yourself.
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(Age:Over 45)
When: 3 months ago
