Is it bad to be having sex with a guy 4 years older than me?

Aw hell, this is a bad one. For your question about the age gap, with you being 16, that makes the statutory law come really close. At 17, it's ok. To have sex with a guy at your age is risky, discretion is of utmost importance in addition to being equally protective. You just cannot afford pregnancy before graduation.

Now that you are already pregnant, this makes it worse. What most idiot parents do is to have the man arrested. I say this is wrong. The parents should make the man take care of their daughter and child. What is the point of a girl being a young mother by herself? Stupid. Make them raise the child together...that is, if you want to keep it.

I don't care what the Pro-Life folks say, nobody's ready for parenthood under the age of 20. Nobody.

I think you should have been listening to your parents. But since you chose not to you're in the mess you find yourself right now. You said you used to have a good relationship but it has turned to just a sexual one. That's exactly what loving relationships turn to when there's too much sex or the wrong kind of sex. He may not be interested in taking the responsibility of caring for his child but he'll have to do that financially for the next 18 years. Make sure he does because now your life has taken a lifelong change. My only advice is to have the baby and don't even consider having an abortion because that will scar you for life. Giving it up for adoption is an excellent option but you will never forget about your child. If you possibly can I'd keep your baby and love him/her as much as you can and see to it that it's well cared for till you finish school. Hopefully, you'll meet a loving man that has more interest in you than in just having sex and making you feel like sex is it.. like they're all doing it and so you went along with that till you got addicted. Good luck!. See if you can't change the pattern of your life and get on a new track. .

Sex with someone who is 4 years older is not a bad thing. You might be a little young to be truly emotionally ready for sex. After all, your brain doesn't finish developing until it is about 21. I know people who are 40 years apart and have a wonderful life.

As far as him going to jail, yes, I think that is possible. It is called statutory rape, which is one of those bizarre laws that we have in the US that says you are not mentally capable of consenting to have sex with someone. At the same time as soon as he turned 18 that is the magic moment and everyone in the world suddenly knows better. It is one of those illusions our legal system imposes to curb morality I guess. I'm not a lawyer, so ages may change from state to state, but I believe that is essentially the basics of it.

No, it is not bad. However, your having sex while underage is bad for both of you. The reason is you are risking his freedom and your privacy. There's nothing wrong with people having sex four years older than themself. Inherently, I don't see any problem with sex. The problem is mainly one that society and law create. That said, it doesn't excuse indulging and making problems for yourself by risking yourselves to these consequences.

I do not see why he won't be able to be an emotional father due to being 20/21. Age doesn't determine things. Either he's emotionally ready, or he isn't. Some men are ready for this early, some are never ready. It's not an age thing, it's a person thing. Being young does not excuse irresponsibility, just like being old does not necessitate it.

I don't know how you feel about him emotionally, but if yo feel like its only sex between you two and you want more, the first thing you need to do would be to stop having sex. Don't just pop it up on him because you'll leave a bad thought with him. Sit down and talk to him about it.

If he doesn't stick around, you'll have your answer.
I hope for your sake that its not just about sex, but lets be honest, there are some guys like that out there in the world.

I think it is greatly possible for him to love you, but you need to know the truth.

To address the age difference...
I know girls mature faster than boys, but I beg of you to be careful.
He can be charged with statutory rape, so yeah he has consequences to his actions.
He has to be worry about doing you wrong because if you decided to speak out he could be in trouble. So I do feel he has a great deal of trust in you.

Let him know your concerns.
Good Luck


Sincerely,
A Loving Black Man

Sex is not a bad thing. It is great you have a sex partner there strictly for what you want, sex. As far as legal or not, it is borderline. You would have to check your state laws. Most states you are legal. For him to be 20 you would have to be at least 16, but when he hits 21 the law changes to where you have to be at least 18. I'm sure there is a gray area there to allow a 17 and 21 year old to continue their relationship if started at an earlier age for both. Ultimately it comes do to how you feel about your relationship with him. Do you feel like a kid around him? Or do you feel sex with no emotion is bad? Ask yourself, how you feel about it and go with it.

To be honest am going through the same thing I have a boyfriend that's 19 but he's turning 20 in a month. Me and him also have had sex and yeah I kind of want more. My parents know about him and they don't mind me going out with him. C/S. If you love him don't listen to what you parents say listen to your heart. Yes he is 4 years older that you but as they say age doesn't matter what matters is what you feel. Tell him about the baby and how you two can make a great family together but don't give up on your love for him.

To be totally honest I asked a cop once about that because I started dating my boyfriend who is 20 last year and I just turned 18 a couple of months ago, and he said that as long as he's not over I think it was 24 then you should be good.

I think there's nothing wrong with talking to a guy that is 4 years older than you. he can and will be locked up if you guys are caught and it would be wise to stop having sex with him, are you willing to bear the consequence for having sex you are too young to only have sex on you mind you should be thinking about life, having fun and your future. leave sex until you can bear the consequence or until you are older where you or your ex won't get into trouble.