i got drunk (black-out) and my fiance said that I had sex with this 20yr old named josh. my fiance was there so he could have stopped me. he knows I kinda have a drinking problem when I am around alcohol what should I do. my boss fired me because I had a hangover the day I went to work. I work in a restaurant. my boss is my fiances mom. now my fiance is talking about holding of the wedding until I get my drinking problem fixed. do you think he is right. any advice.
Update: i kinda had thing or josh in high school. we went out for about 3 months.
3 months ago
Yes, it sounds like you might have a drinking problem. I would suggest getting it taken care of while you are still young and it might be a little easier.
Having sex with you while you are drunk is akin to rape. Your boyfriend should have stopped you.
Thats the thing he tried to stop me. - 3 months ago
Answerer
Then you are luck he is still with you. Most guys I know would have taken off. What is it you would like out of your relationship? - 3 months ago
Question Asker
What do you mean. - 3 months ago
Answerer
If you were running off to have sex with another guy while I was standing there telling you not to and you did it anyway I would probably no longer be in the relationship. - 3 months ago
Question Asker
I couldn't help it. I didn't know what I was doing. he knew that I was sorry because I started crying when he told me. I told him that I was sorry and it wouldn't happen again. - 3 months ago
Answerer
Like I said, I think you are lucky he is still with you. - 3 months ago
Stop drinking is the first thing.so since you have done that.thats a start.now its makeup time to your fiance.you need to find out what you can do to help him gain back the trust for you.if that's going to AA to prove you are ok you need to do it. this will also help you with the mom.you need to sit down with her and help her understand your mistake and what you are doing to try to fix it.she may consider letting you work for her again but don't bank on it.a mother-in-law is a bad person to piss off. make sure you are ok with you fiance and that he will be with you for the birth of your child.and that you will be together.so work on him.beg beg and beg again for forgiveness.
Trust me I have done all the begging I can do. I have already apologized to my mother in law. she said that when I get it under control she will give back my job. just because I am her daughter in law. it kind also helped out since I have known her my hole life. she had some pretty harsh words to say to me though. - 3 months ago
Absolutely he's right. You have a problem. You're pregnant, you're getting married. It's time to grow up! Just like there's a time to act like a teenager, there is a time for partying and all that, and then there is a time to grow up and be more responsible. Get out of the high school stage, get out of the college stage, and act like a responsible adult. You can't be a good mom and a good wife and be a drunk, it's not possible. So choose what you want to do, and do it.
I know. I didn't know at the time that I was pregnant. I am trying to stop. I haven't had a drink since then. it has been 2 weeks. - 3 months ago
Answerer
Well that's good. Believe me, none of us are perfect. But we all have priorities. And it just sounds like yours are in a transition phase. I know it's always tough going from one stage to another. Leaving high school was tough. But once you made the transition to college, it was a lot better then high school. And once you make the transition to being a mom and wife, you won't miss the "college" years. - 3 months ago
Question Asker
It is hard for me t quit. my fiance has to stay on me the whole time I am in the kitchen. he even has a lock on the liquor cabinet. I feel like a kid being punished. I have had a drinking problem since I was 16. so it is really hard to stop. - 3 months ago
Answerer
Lol well instead of having liquor in the house, dump it all out. Quitting any addiction is hard. But you have someone that loves you and is there to help you through it. - 3 months ago
Question Asker
He would have to dump it out. I wouldn't even be able to watch him dump it out. I would start crying. I admit I do need help. - 3 months ago
If you need help then go get some...it will prove to everyone that you are serious.....go to AA....your priest/minister.....someone and talk about it.....they say the first step is admitting you have a problem..... - 3 months ago
Question Asker
I feel like a child being punished though. it is hard to break a habit that you have had since you were 16. I have had this problem for 4 years. - 3 months ago
Answerer
Well instead of acting like a kid getting punished, YOU be the one to make the change. You're an adult, you can change. Just like you made it into a habit where you got addicted, make it a habit where you get un-addicted. 2 weeks is a great start. But desperate times call for desperate measures. Dump it out! No one has gotten to the end of their life and wished that they drank more. You just have to make the decision. - 3 months ago
Question Asker
I will I know that I can't be a good mom if I am drunk or drinking - 3 months ago
If you drink to blackout frequently, don't know what you do when you drink, and have had problems from work due to drinking, you have a drinking problem.
I think your fiance is right! You are lucky that he has given you a second chance. Most men would have dropped you immediately - if you cannot be faithful in your relationship at a fiance level - imagine what he'll think/worry about when he marries you! There must be some underlying reason why you come on to other men sexually when you are in a committed relationship. You must not be feeling too happy with your fiance or have a had relationship problems with him in the past and are getting back at him for something he has done to you. Or - you love sex so much that he cannot fulfill you enough. If this is the case - please leave him and find someone that will float your boat - or you will soon regret it!
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Describe your ideal first date; Where do you go? What do you wear? How does the date end?
For me the first date is about getting to know the other person. I prefer a quiet venue, a place like a coffee shop or a dignified restaurant.
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