Hey, my best friend and I are both 18 and we had sex 3 times (before that we were both virgins). He gave me oral and fingered me.and I gave him a handjob, but no oral all 3 times before we had intercourse. And yesterday he said something like "I've corrupted you" and just laughed because I assumed he was joking. Then when he walked me home, he said "nite slut." =O I was shocked. And today when he called me, I told him that was mean and he said "sorry, but it had to be said.haha just kidding."
What is this about? Why would he say something like that when he knows it's hurtful? I feel so bad about myself right now, and he thinks this is funny?
Your friend is a jerk. Don't feel bad about yourself. Stuff like this happens. He was too immature to have sex with you and now he isn't handling it well. He doesn't know how to act around you because sex has changed your relationship. If his friendship is important to you, then you should figure out what you want sex with him to mean and then talk to him about how you feel. If he is too immature to deal with you then maybe he isn't the friend you thought he was.
I'm sure he never said that in a hurtful way, just in a fun way because you must have been do good. He was teasing and complementing you in a very manly way and that's why he laughed. Gosh, give yourself credit for letting him finger you and give you oral before having sex and yet not expecting oral back with is usually the true mark of guy that really loves his girl. However, I think he went a little far in his joking in saying "nite slut". Maybe he thought you'd catch on to way of joking but I'm sure that's not what you wanted to hear as you were saying goodnight. Also, maybe to him you're just a booty call and you have a physical relationship that's starting to develop. Just be upfront and bring that up next time you talk with him that even if he was joking you don't like being called a disrespectful name like that. If you notice that he starts taking the sexual part of your relationship for granted now and that's not what you want, I'd leave him if I were you. It's very unusual that since you were both virgins (are you sure he was?) that he'd suddenly act like someone that was very affluent with those names and terms.
Take this from a guy: any guy who's like that isn't worth your time. Period. Just don't go there. If he won't respect you, then you don't need to give him the time of day. Saves you a lot of heartache from a really stupid man. He needs to know that if there's going to be any kind of relationship - physical or not - he needs to treat you with dignity and respect.
This is a great example of the inmaturity we end up discussing in about 30% of these questions.
This is a guy who was not mature to conduct any sexual act. He is completely ignorant to what it entails and what the expectations are afterward.
I will say, with no regret, you can do better, and you should expect better. Get out of this thing with this guy, and continue your life with one less idiot in it.
He's just joking with you, just like when your in the moment you know and the girl says I'm your little slut aren't I, and you say hell ya your my slut. Anyways he was just playing with, you guys don't call girls sluts and mean it, unless they really piss them off or we go up to our friends and are like don't date that girl she's a slut she sleeps with anyone. I call girls sluts all the time yeah they go what I'm not a slut your just an asshole, its a joke, you will know if he really means it. I get called a slut or man whore all the time by women I just go whatever I don't make big deal of it.
But he's never said anything like that while we were having sex, so why now? I'm afraid he'll say something like that in front of our friends and then everyone will think it's okay to call me that. - 3 months ago
Some people respond really, really well to being called "slut" but they generally agree to the turn before it is used. A kind interpretation is that he was just trying to talk dirty to you as a means of exciting you.
The alternative is he is one of those deeply twisted people who have contempt for people who have sex with them. If so, run away.
Guess you'll have to figure it out from what you got. is he deeply interested in continuing the sexual relationship or is he mad at you for some reason.
He might be one of those guys who gets off on the idea that they spoiled something that was previously pure. It's pretty awful, especially since it was your first time, but some guys are into that notion. They've got it fixed in their head that the only girls who have sex are sluts and that the oter girls are good and if they get you to have sex then they've turned you into a slut. It's a weird hangup and one that guys usually outgrow (thank God).
guys like to think that when they have sex with a virgin that they turn that girl into a nympho, like they were so good that the girl needs sex constantly now. I'm sure he didn't mean anything hurtful by it, he's just trying to play himself up. but he was a virgin too, so you should just throw it right back at him, call him easy :)
Sometimes guys can be truly sick humored. He may not really mean anything by it. He really might just think he's being funny. My boyfriend has the sickest, crudest sense of humor around. Sometimes, I want to slap him, but he truly just doesn't realize when he's crossing a line. He doesn't get offended easily and he doesn't realize how easily a lot of people do get offended. I've grown to adapt to it, and try to make him aware when he does it to other people. But, I guess he just may not realize just how much it really hurt you.
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