Ok, here is the deal! My boyfriend and I are really close and neither of us wants to have sex. The problem; we both see that we are taking small steps in that direction. There is no way we will be there anytime soon, but we are only sophomores in high school! I’m sure, at this rate, it will become a GIANT problem before we leave. (as in, we will do it at this rate!)
We both want to face the problem now, and slow down the steps we’re taking. In the last week we’ve taken probably about three. ( a lot for such a short span of time! We’ve never been like this before!) I teased him a little bit, we talked openly for the first time about masturbation and sex stuff, (a big step) and he told me that, when his hand slips out of bounds (on accident!) that he thinks he is losing the ability to move it and asked if I could watch out for it and help him stop. That is when I admitted I didn’t really think I wanted to stop him. (we tell each other everything)
Now we’re both scared out of our minds! I know that this is the natural process a good relationship, but we’re so young! We really need to slow it down! He thinks I should tell my mom not to leave us alone anymore. (my parents do all the time. Long enough to give us opportunities to go, not all the way, but much farther then we should.) What do you guys think? I need some advice on slowing things down!
PS: we were close friends before we started dating so we got closer really quickly. We've been together for 7 months now.
Update: We're trying to avoid almost all sexual things.
4 months ago
The question that I would like to ask is why don't you want to have sex? I'm not saying that you should or shouldn't, but I'm curious as to the reason you want to hold back. Is it the church dogma or do you really feel you aren't ready for it.
Sex is a natural thing. You have hormones going through both of your bodies that are driving sexual energies higher and higher. Being around each other is going to elevate that even more. There are plenty of things you can do that doesn't involve intercourse too. You can pet, provide oral, etc. Are you against those too or just intercourse?
Having sex in any form is a great way to learn who you are as a sexual being. Learning what it is you like now will help you to chose a mate later on and especially to know if you are compatible or not.
I'm not ready. Now where near. In case you didn't catch it, I'm only 16. Besides, it is just something I think is best to keep out of my life for awhile.
Oh, and yes, I'm agaist those other things too. I just don''t think I'm ready. - 4 months ago
Answerer
Then I suggest you go get your bible and read it. That usually seems to work like a cold shower to many people. - 4 months ago
Age 18-24? You sound so childish. Your parents have control of your time? Grow up. Develop some self control. You are at the age you should be having sex, so why are you wanting to avoid it? You may want to seek some emotional counseling. It is not normal to want to avoid sex.
I sound childish because I'm just a child deuschebag. I said I was a sophomore in high school so people would know I was lying about my age. Maybe you should learn to read. - 4 months ago
anyway no we don't want to do ANYTHING. its just that were increadably close and its the BIOLOGICAL next step. I'm not worried about anything forseeable but hey accidents happen
wow, I can't get five minutes alone, and why is your age 18 to 24 if you are a sophomore in high school, don't care just wondering, what you need to tell him is that the two of you can't have sex because you don't want to even have the chance of becoming pregnant and having to make really tough choices then, just have fun up to sex
16 year olds can't post sexuality questions, can they? I've had one kicked off before because I am under 18. I really didn't want it to happen to this one too. - 4 months ago
N/A
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 4 months ago
Wow I see what you mean about moving more and more closer to having sex. If you don't already do so often, why not start masturbating a lot more to cool you down and suggest to your boyfriend that you give him a h/j or whenever he gets too horny, and he should be fingering you too and leering how to bring you off good that way too. He should also be learning to go down on you often and bring you to orgasms that are exciting and fulfilling and you can blow him once in awhile too. All this could help to relieve the pressure of wanting to have sex. .This should slow things down considerably as far as desiring to have sex if you do all those other things I mentioned and do them good. No reason this can't be some of the most fun times you've ever had.
Thanks for answering, but we're trying to avoid not only sex, but all of this. (except masturbating) If it comes to it I'll end up taking your advice, but until then I'm going to fight taking any more steps. Thanks for the advice! :) - 4 months ago
Answerer
I read your little comment above. Good girl!! I give you so much credit! You are really smart and mature for your age. Should you ever decide to take my advice, just pick and choose the ones that seem to fit in best to where you're at. At least you're masturbating and I'm sure that's a big help in itself. Thanks for your comment. - 4 months ago
WOW I didn't think there was anyone out there anymore who wasn't trying to bang at 12! I am so proud of you for wanting to wait until its the right time, because the way I see it, your first time only ever happens once, its something you can never get back - so you should be with someone you love (my personal view). Also once you start having sex, you will never get the same kind of pleasure out of the more innocent stuff. So I think its really worth it to wait as long as you can. I would suggest masturbating on your own everyday, it will help because you can have a sexual outlet. Good luck to you, and thank god there are still people out there who don't think sex is something to be thrown around! Best of Luck
I think you're stressing out too much. Maybe taking a mutual break from each other in general will help cool things down. I masturbated and fantasized by myself when I was a teen and maybe suggesting the same to your boyfriend will help ease the sexual tension. To me, it's one of those things that you just want to do when you're a teenager, and it feels like you have no control. Just remember to protect yourself if it does happen to happen.
There's a commonly shared belief that condoms alter and distract from the pleasurable sensations of sex. Although this statement retains a shred of truth, can we really afford to put safety on the...
Disclaimer: First off, before anyone says, I don't want to hear a sermon; I'm not going to bring up religion in anyway. I'm not a preacher and your religious beliefs are yours to choose. Second, I'm...
The biggest factor in that kind of as decition for me is WORK!!Do you currently have a job? if so would you have to quit to move? if not would it be farther or closer to your job?If the move would not...
I've never been in a long distance relationship but what I would say what you can do if you can afford it is give her a surprise visit it would help bring yous closer together and give yous the chance...
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 4 months ago
(Age:Under 18)
When: 4 months ago
Site Links
About GirlsAskGuys
GirlsAskGuys Widgets
Help Us Improve!
