Sex, messed up after break up

things will get better with time

I agree with gravygirl, you just need to find someone new. That is the only way you are going to be able to feel better about yourself. Just think, a woman which thinks you are just the greatest man in the world. You can't say that will not boost your self esteem, right? Obviously, when you find her(or she finds you), you will hopefully stop thinking about your ex. It will not happen all at once. If you look too hard, it will never turn out well. Take baby steps. Break ups are hard, no matter who initiated it. Just remember, you broke up for a reason. If it was her breaking up with you, you do not want to waste the time you do have fantasizing about someone that obviously does not want to be with you. It is not fair to yourself. I am going through a similar situation with the "people tell me I have a lot going for me, and I'm attractive but I don't feel it." It sucks because you think they are just trying to make you feel better, which, in some small bit they probably are, but mainly because they know what you are worth. You know what you have going for you.look at your name for goodness sakes.attractiveontarioguy. You obviously KNOW you are good looking, use it to your advantage to help you move on!

How is that a two part question? I'm only seeing one.

Anyway, you get your self confidence back by finding another person that makes you feel the way your ex made you feel. That's the only way I know of. And the looking is hell, don't get me wrong, but it happens eventually.