my parents caught me having sex yesterday. they just walked right into my room. they didn't know that my boyfriend was in my room. my mom freaked out and my dad was pissed. I haven't come out of my room. I have my door locked, and my parents keep telling me they want to have a talk with me. what should I do, what should say to them. I mean I am already on b-control. we always have sex with condoms. what should I say to my parents. please I need advice.
Yikes. Oh my god, embarrassing. Buuut. look. face the facts.
1) You're pretty young. so they probably are very worried that you're NOT doing it right.
2) Since they know you are DOING it. they just want sure you understand the implications.
3) You may actually NOT know all the implications, so it could be good hearing what they got to say about. I mean.hey. they made you didn't they?
All that being said. if you got religious or freaky or both. types of parents. then. I dunno. Jump the window and run away?
Just stay cool, say you sorry if they think you disrespected them in their home.just let them blow out the steam. Fighting with them is only going to make a situation worse. And try really really hard. not to assume that you know everything. cause, I'm sure you heard it a million times. you may THINK you know.but you still don't really know. I'm 33 and I'm STILL learning shit. imagine that.
My parents are very religious. they said that I have to be married before I have sex. which when they told me, I had already lost my virginity. I told them what they wanted to hear and told them that I would wait. they were even talking about getting me a promise ring. - 3 months ago
Answerer
Tough situation. Just know that they care a lot about you, and perhaps having sex at your age IS a bit young if you haven't thought about what would happen if you got pregnant or an STD (I'm assuming your using protection). To me, that's the most important things regarding sex. Best not argue with them and realize that your time living with their under their rules will eventually come to an end, sooner than they can even expect you to wait until marriage. Then it'll all be up to you. - 3 months ago
Question Asker
Im 16 how is that to young? your right, I haven't thought about what would happen if I did get pregnant or an std. of course we use protection. I feel horrible, the way I treated my parents. I did argue with them. I shouldnt have. - 3 months ago
Answerer
Think of it this way, even with protection there is a tiny chance that you could still get pregnant. Can you handle taking care of another child right now? Probably not. Can you partner financially support you while your pregnant? Stuff like that doesn't come in a the heat of the moment, and you're not the first 16 year old to experiment but maybe you should take it easy. What's the rush? Your parents really deep down just thinking about your future well being. You should too... right? - 3 months ago
Question Asker
No I couldn't take care of a child right now. well he probably could support me but that is if he stays. no people don't think about that in the heat of the moment. there isn't any rush. I guess I could slow down. the way parents were talking to me it didn't sound like they were thinking about my future. but I know they only do that because they love me. I should be thinking about my future. - 3 months ago
oh my gosh. I don't know what id do if that happened to me. I guess all you can do is face them and talk to them. tell them that you've made the decision to have sex and that your being responsible about it and stuff. just make sure everything you say is responsible. I guess things will eventually get less weird around them
I think a lot of people have this happen to them at least once it their lives. The world isn't going to end just because your parents caught you. Yes, it's by far embarrassing that they did catch you but you need to prove you're responsible and mature enough to handle having sex. I think you should just be honest with your parents and let them know that you're having sex, you've been having sex, and that you're going to continue having sex. Since you're sexually active they can't really stop you now. When talking to them just be straight forward with them.
i am sure your parents are just worried. maybe you should first just talk to your mum. she might just be worried and wants to talk to you about "safe sex". and tell them they should knock at the door next time
haha I don't know what to say. my mom walked in when my boyfriend was eating me out but I had a skirt on and my undies were just pushed aside so he was able to move quick and my mom never really knew what he was doing. lol. she did tell him it was time for him to go home but since then she's been ok with him being in my room just as long as he doesn't stay too long. usually we try to do stuff when she's not home like shopping, etc and that gives him more time to do better oral on me. just tell your parents you're old enough to have sex and that's why you're on b-control plus he always has a condom on. you might as well as be upfront so that you don't have to hide so much in the future.
Thats the thing, my parents don't know I'm on b-control. - 3 months ago
Answerer
I see omggg. lol. When you got good parents it's hard for them to understand what us younger kids are up to especially girls and yet we want to listen to them.. You don't want to get pregnant and that can happen if the comdom should tear. I know you're still gonna see him whenever you can, so I'd suggest he starts doing oral on you cause it's easier to do and he can make you come that way and start enjoying doing that to you more and more himself like my boyfriend does. He owes you that. - 3 months ago
Question Asker
Ya he does owe me that. I am at his house now. we are just hanging out. do you know how hard it is to sneak out of the house while your parents are practically right outside your door. HARD extremely hard. - 3 months ago
Answerer
Yes he does own you that, and YES lol I do know how hard it is to sneak out of the house with parents right outside the door, almost impossible. I hope he gets a chance to read this, but I do think he needs to start eating you out like I said my boyfriend does by just pushing your undies aside because you guys can do that faster and get away with it without sneaking so much. Once he starts going down on you, you'll guys will feel MUCH more satisfied and not wanting sex as often. You both need that. - 3 months ago
Question Asker
He is sitting right next to me. so I think he can read it. but he has started getting ontop of me and I had to push him off since his parents are home. - 3 months ago
Answerer
So do you think you'll get him to start what I suggested? I really do think you should be expecting him to do that to you since you don't have much time together and you have to be afraid of being caught. Hey message me and let's talk about this, ok? - 3 months ago
They just have to come to an understanding that you felt you needed to have sex, so you took your ass out there and did it. All the reality to it. Tell them you're safe, careful, and I guess make up some nice lies about dude. To really give you advice as to what to say/act/how to react, I'd have to know your ethnicity. I don't mean to sound rude.
What can you say? I think they will be doing most of the talking unless they ask questions. (in which case, answer them truthfully but not bluntly) Just nod your head and let them rant.
WOW, embarrassing. I know you hate to do it, but you need to just sit down and talk to them. Explain to them that you always use condoms as well as your birth control and how you feel about this guy. You need to just be honest with them.
They are worried about you. You are their little girl and they want to protect you. Sometimes parents seem really mad when really it's a front for being scared. As I grew up and got closer to my mom I came to realize where she was coming from when she did some of the things she did to me when I was younger. And now that I have a kid I understand even more, mine is only 2 but I can already feel myself getting overprotective and not looking forward to things like that.
I know,but they said I can't have sex anymore. even though I am being careful. and I did tell them that I really care for my boyfriend and I know he cares for me. but it was like talking to a brick wall. they just kept saying that I can't have sex with him anymore. but after I just walked back in my room and called him and told my boyfriend what my parents said. how are they going to know if I am having sex or not. they aren't which means they aren't going to trust me. - 3 months ago
Answerer
That's a really tough situation. I'm sorry that your parents are so hard headed. I wish you the best of luck in getting this straightened out. - 3 months ago
Question Asker
Thanx. I guess I will just spend the next week or so in my room and at my boyfriends house. I have snuck out before I COULD sneak out now. but I don't want to disappoint my parents more then they already are. heads up when your kid grows make sure to have their room on the second floor. you know when ever you kid sexually active.my room is on the first floor so it is easier to sneak out of my window. - 3 months ago
Tell them that. Time to face the music. By not talking to them you are worrying them and proving to them that you still have a lot of growing to do (which you do). Be prepared to answer questions like:
Have you thought of the consequences of having sex other than pregnancy and stds? How long have you been having sex for?
Let them know that you are responsible and you do use condoms. Also, make them feel better by mentioning an annual pap smear. It's awkward but it's good for them to know.
(Age:Under 18)
When: 3 months ago
