We kiss and make out all the time and we've seen each other naked. Now for some reason he won't penetrate me. He has only had sex with one woman in his life time, but has seen about four woman naked and touched them. Last time he was over at my houes I had a large bottle of irish cream (about 20% alcohol) and he refused to drink the alcohol. He goes to the bar with his friends all the time and orders drinks, it's his favorite pass time, but he won't drink at my house. Is he worried I'll get him drunk and "take advantage" of him?
could it be that he doesn't trust *himself* to be drunk around you in an intimate setting?
from your brief description it sounds like he might be trying to "take things slow" with you so as not to give the impression that he's after "one thing"; in other words, acting in a "respectful" manner.
and/or - it could be that he holds religious or spiritual beliefs regarding actual penetration.
it could also be that he hates the taste of irish cream (a lot of people get sick on this when young ;) )
it seems like you trust each other a fair amount (he's certainly shared some intimate history & you've been naked with each other) - so perhaps the easiest approach to this question is to simply ask him why he doesn't seem to want to have sex; you might want to couch this in softer, non-accusatory terms.
Have you asked him about the trust? Have both of you defined the relationship and how each one sees it? If he is a good friend he will talk with you (but leave the booze in the cupboard for this talk). He may have issues with his sexuality or sexual identity which he is struggling with. He might have a major fear of getting you pregnant. He may have an STD like herpes that he knows can infect you even if there are no lesions or sores visible. He may cherish you as a friend and fear ruining the friendship. YOU SEE, because there are so many variables, good communication is the only way to go. Make it safe for him by letting him know you value his friendship and no matter what his answer is, you will be happy he trusted you enough to share and you will not be angry. THEN, no matter what he says, keep your word. Even if it is upsetting, give yourself 24 hours to work through the feelings. Good luck
actually this would be a normal reaction if he was worried about having children, foreplay is always safer than geetting a woman "knocked up" and speding the rest of his life paying support.
Wow something just occured to me. Maybe the woman that he had sex with, he was willing to marry her and have children with her? - 2 months ago
Answerer
If he wanted kids that badly, he would not be holding out on you. but I do know guys who have been "tricked" into having kids, the girl would get them so drunk they would forget a condom, and then the guy would be cornered into a situation. personally, I would perfer to be sober when I have sex, I have too few fun memories, I would like to remember the fun ones. - 2 months ago
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