I am really fussy when it comes to guys I mean I don't just like anyone. Once I do find someone I like, which is very rare, things go well like really well. So here's my problem I can't control myself and sleep with them too soon then I realise it was a mistake and it goes down hill from there. It's driving me crazy. I think it's to do with the fact it doesn't happen often so I can go ages without sleeping with someone. I don't think this is the whole reason though as I'm happy enough without it. It's just when I meet someone I like its a big deal and then I can't control myself. This has been happening for the past 3 yreas. What should I do?
Update: Ok so u's are more or less calling me a slut.I'm talking about 2 guys here over the past 3 years and obviously I have judged things wrong,slept with them pretty quick because I couldn't help myself and don't want to do it again -
3 months ago
Update: but it's really hard when I find someone I like as I actually do just wanna rip their clothes off and take them to bed and that's all I think about untill I do.I don't see myself as a slut but if you think I am fair enough I don't care
3 months ago
There's only one person that can help you control yourself and that's YOU! You need to want to control yourself and take action. Stay away for the occasions that cause you to lose control. Like make a vow to yourself that you won't have sex with a guy until at least the 3rd date or how many you want to be the minimum dates. Don't go with your date to places that'll be too convenient to have sex. Maybe it's because you need the reinforcement that you're desirable and to you that means a guy wanting to have sex with you. Thy to build up your self- confidence in some way. So work on your attitude about having sex and what sex was designed for. It is NOT in God's plan that we have sex and think it's okay about like kissing our date. There's an awful price to pay for having sex like it was part of courtship or because it's just fun and exciting to have sex and everyone is doing it. It's terrible now because you're actually just a slut that's slept with a lot of guys, even if you have been fussy in trying to find just the right one. Obviously the guys you've had sex with haven't thought you were just the right one because they've moved on. So you have to realize that having sex isn't what it takes to be happy even if it's with some guy you think is a nice guy. It has to be for reasons much better reasons than that and you're this is what you're realizing after it's too late. It's never to late to start over so my advice is to make some sort of a plan to avoid the situations that have led to the problem you have. If you keep working on it, someday you'll succeed and your life will take on new meaning. Unless you have some sickness, you CAN control yourself but you have to want to bad enough.
You should try to get over your hangup with sex. View it as a pleasurable experience you shared with someone, not a mistake you made in the past. Sex is enjoyable and good for you. Your equipment is not going to wear out so what are you saving it for? From what you say above I get the impression you only want to have sex with the guy you end up spending your life with. You are attaching too much significance to this.
Wait, you're suppose to attatch a LOT of significance with having sex. Those that don't end up with problems with their relationships and then later in their short lived marriages. Having sex isn't a fun and games thing to make you feel good with whoever you're with at the time or for entertainment any particular night. Those that don't attatch importance to having sex when they're young lose the ability ever attatch importance to it. - 3 months ago
Answerer
Who says I am suposed to attach a lot of significance to sex? Is that something taught in home ec or gitls gym class because I never was taught that. Females seem to think differently about sex. I have always wondered where they got these ideas. Having sex certainly is fun and games, unless you are discussing prostitution, then I guess it is work. My view of sex has never changed and my short lived marriage has now persisted for 35 years and we are still having lots of fun and games. :) - 3 months ago
Well I certainly wasn't referring to having sex with your loved one. I was talking about the sleeping around kind of thing. So if you slept around a lot just to have "fun and games" then I'd say you have a point but I'd think it was unsual that you were able to put all your past behind you, and if you did it in a good way, then I congratulate you! - 3 months ago
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(Age:36 to 45)
When: 3 months ago
asked 2 days ago
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