My boyfriend of about 6 months just broke up. He is gay. I know this for a fact because I accidently found some sites he was using.and for various reasons. So we didn't end on a good note at all and I refuse to talk to him because of the way eh handled us breaking up. that's goes into another story. But anyway I was wondering if anyone has had any experience with friends who have come out as being gay and what made them do it. Or any support I can give him to make him feel ok about it. I have never mentioned to him that I know so even advice on how to bring it up? thanks
Why would you want to get him to admit it? He probably already knows and is having difficulty in accepting it. Leave him alone about this. It will come out in its own good time when he's ready and not when you feel he should.
I don't think you should even bring the issue up. First, you might end up ruining whatever friendship you have left with him. Second, he'll come around when he's ready and only then; if you force it then there may be some serious repercussions. Last, if you got him to admit to being gay and recorded him admitting it then sending the recording to all his friends and posting it to your facebook/myspace, that would be HILARIOUS. . . kind of messed up, though. Seriously, though, don't even bother bringing it up.
He may be in denial. And you can never kick someone out of the closet- so stop trying. All you're going to do is terrify the person. This is a very scary part of their transition, so being supportive is all you can do. I realize you're hurt because of what he did to you (which basically is starting to be honest with himself). You'll move past it, but right now he needs someone to confide in, and help him realize that he has to be honest with himself.
Give it time. I have 2 male friends who are gay and it took them YEARS before they had the strength to come out. But I knew both of them were, but mentioning it is the worst thing you can do.
In a nutshell, don't bring it up and don't push him.
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