My boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me recently and I took him back but we got back together but I told him I wanted to take things (sexually) more slowly.
I don't mean NO SEX EVER, I merely want to take things slow and work back up to it, problem is that we've had sex before and my body knows him intimately and parts of me (anyone have a guess as to which parts? :P) just want to rip all of his clothes off and have him go at me.
Is it stupid to want to take things slow even when we've had sex probably more than a hundred times? Should I just give in to what we both really want? Or if not, how can we have the heavy petting we used to before we ever had sex?
Not having sex because you want some other benefit is manipulative. That doesn't seem like a good way to restart a relationship. If the guy doesn't respect you for liking sex, I wouldn't keep him.
I'm not trying to be manipulative, I just feel like maybe our relationship was centered too much around sex before we broke up and I'm just trying to figure out the best way to make us work. Before we would kiss for a little while and then have sex for like three minutes and then he's done. I try not to but sometimes I actually feel less close to him after sex than before sex. - A month ago
Answerer
Then that is the problem you need to address, not having sex but how you have sex. Guys tend to learn what you want if you are specific and direct. You control the access to sex so you do have the capacity of creating the requirements for it. - A month ago
There's nothing wrong with wanting to have sex again, especially with someone you feel comfortable with already, it means at the very least that your both still attracted to each other, and that's a good thing. Sex isn't going to hurt your relationship, but keep in mind that it's not the only thing that should make your relationship what it is, as long as it's what you both want then go for it, but if you don't feel like it one night then don't. Just try not to let it get in the way of the relationship itself.
Yeah, thank you. It's just hard. We don't live together so we only get to see each other for a small amount of time each week and I just don't know what's best. I love him so much and it's weird not having sex with him since we have but I feel like maybe it would be better if we went back to where we were before that, only I don't know how. Aggh. - A month ago
Answerer
The way it sounds is that you want to go back to when you first started having sex. The problem is, nobody can go back, only forward, you can't forget, only remember. At least you can make things happy though because you know what they were like when you were happy, and you know what makes you upset so you can avoid that. Learn from the past relationship you shared, make it better not the same, if it didn't work the first time, having THE SAME thing won't work this time. - A month ago
I think taking it slow is a good choice. Don't take it SO slow as if it were your first time going out but I really don't think you should just have sex right away. That may just take away from the relationship. Wait maybe about 2 months or so I would say. Just to work up to it. If he gets angry with that choice. Then maybe he isn't right for you if he can't respect that.
(Age:18 to 24)
When: A month ago
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