my boyfriend had to leave the state because of work and might be coming home soon. it has been a year since we've been together and I'm excited, but nervous. before he left we had a very satisfying sex life, but now I'm so nervous about him seeing me naked, I have gained a little weight, not too much, just 15 lbs or so, but I'm still worried; he can be a little shallow at times, as most people can be. I have been eating healthier and excercising more, but I can't seem the shed the extra weight. I'm not discusting or anything, but I used to have really toned abs and legs, the muscle is still there, but you can't see the definition like before and I'm afraid he'll be disappointed. what else can I do?
i'm already nervous because I haven't even hugged a man (except family) since he left and I'm already shy, the weight just intensifies my uneasiness. I need help.
Update: well, it looks like I have some extra time to work on losing my extra pounds, he can't come home yet :( at least not for another month, maybe even longer :'(
11 months ago
Aww I can just about imagine what you're going through. Even though I don't think that'll pose any problem whatsoever with your boyfriend if you said or did nothing about it before he came home, you might try this before he does if you haven't already. When you're talking with him, tell him you've been so lonesome for him that so you've been eating just a little more than usual and that is has caused you to gain several extra pounds even though you've been eating healthy and exercising, but are sure once he's back you'll get back to normal. Send him a few pics of you doing something or whatever so that he sees you with those extra pounds in a routine pose. What I'm trying to say is since he'll know you've been missing him as being the reason for the extra weight and then seeing how you look without calling attention to the fact that's why you sent the pics he won't have any surprises when he gets back and he'll love you more because of it. If he's disappointed then that's not much of a guy, and I'm sure you'll see him looking different too. maybe heaver or skinnier. just not the same as a year ago either. We all change with time and no one is excluded. Please don't be shy but instead concentrate your efforts oh being happy and joyful that he's finally coming home so just welcome him smiling sweetly with your arms reaching. That's what he'll be looking for, not a little extra weight.
Thank you, you're sweet. I have told him that I've gained a little, but I like the picture idea. I don't have a camera, but I think my neighbor does. my boyfriend did buy me one for my birthday, but he still has it so he could give it to me in person. - More than a year ago
Answerer
You're sweet too.. and good luck! You guys sound like a great couple. :-) - More than a year ago
from my perspective, your question is a little disturbing.
If your boyfriend would come home from out of state and you're worried that he'll say you look fat because you've gained a measly 15 pounds, I think you need some counseling or a reality check, or you might need a new boyfriend.
if a guy would come home from out of town and say to his girlfriend, "I'm disappointed in your loss of muscle tone," he's a jerk. and you might want to either stand up for yourself, or reconsider dating him.
if he's _not_ a jerk, and you're preoccupied that gaining 15 pounds means he'll be disappointed in you, I think you need a little counseling, or at least a reality check and a bit more self-confidence. is this guy dating you, or is he dating your defined abs?
I hope (for your sake) that you're only a little insecure and anxious. my guess is that he'll be so glad to see you that he won't care or notice if you've gained weight, and he'll rip your clothes off the first minute.
p.s. throw out your weight scale. it's a woman's worst enemy.
First off, thanks for your comments; second, I do not need counseling. it's obvious that I'm insecure about it, else I would not be worried and I don't even own a scale. several years ago I made the mistake of dating a weight trainer who never thought I was good enough and would make me weigh myself at least once a week. so forgive me if I'm, afraid to go through that pain and humiliation again. yes I know its not the same man, but the memories are still there. - More than a year ago
Answerer
Remember that your new guy is not your ex. That old baggage can be tough to shake, but try to let the past stay in the past -- sounds like you're on the right path. - More than a year ago
if you show that your worried he will more likely notice.i wish I had some good advice for weight loss but I dont but if yall have been together and havnt seen each other for a year that's a good sign that something like this shouldnt matter to him
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