What to do...?

Make friends with gay people who are happy with themselves and their lives. Given enough time, you'll be one of them, then you'll be a friend to the next girl in need. What goes around, comes around.

There isn't much you can do about the family. Most won't want to destroy their relationship with you just because your gay--blood is still thicker than water, most places--but if they do, so be it. Much better that the family *ssholes despise you for being gay, out, and whole than for being gay, closeted, and crazy.

DONT KILL URSELF LIFE IS TO PRESIOUS FOR THIS as for the rest you didn't choose to fall in love wit her you are you and nothin else as for ur family blood is thiker than nethin

First, take a deep breath. This is all going to be ok, no matter how you might feel. It might be a hard road, but you'll be happy one day.

Now, your problem. Maybe a support group, a homosexual rights group, something where you can meet people and explain what happening in your life and how scared you are about this change? They've been there, and they'll totally understand.

Second, don't classify. You don't have to be straight, gay, or bi. You just love who you love. I think the word is what really gets you, not the meaning of it. And that's because of the social stigma so many attach to it. So try not to classify yourself, but also try to get used to this part of you at the same time. Take baby steps, get yourself comfortable with the word, the meaning, and the change it could bring to your life. We always fear what we don't understand, and if you give yourself time to really understand it, you won't have such anxiety about it.

As for your family, well, I can't help you there. I'm not gay myself, but I do have gay friends. And they have had trouble with this. That's why I think someone who has been in this situation would be best for you to talk to. And who says you have to say anything now? Wait, be comfortable and secure in who you are before you travel the long road that will be "coming out of the closet." That way you are secure and confident in your decision and who you have become, and it will be much easier on you, and you won't fall to any influence they may try to exert on you.

I don't really know what to say other than whatever is in your heart you've got to follow that because that's what is going to make you happy, which honestly is the only way I know how to live life.

I hope things work out for you, and I hope you find love in whoever makes you happy no matter if your gay or in denial

Though we live in a pretty homophobic society, being gay is nothing to be ashamed of. You are YOU, you can't help things like that. If it took you a while to finally "figure out" that you are gay, it may also take a while to accept who you are. That sounds tough (and it is), but you can't let other people tell you who you are and how to roll in your lifestyle. You're probably gonna deny it for a while, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do NOT kill yourself. No matter what, suicide is not the answer. I'm not gay, but I have been down a road that led me into depression too, and I considered suicide, and it is just NOT the way to go. You just gotta look inside yourself for the answer, even though it hurts. If you can't accept yourself for the way you are, then your family won't either, so before you come out to them you gotta learn to love yourself first, even if you don't wanna be the way you are. Good luck. =D

Remember that you didn't choose to be attracted to members of the same sex, and that attempts to change your orientation are usually painful and pointless in the end.[1] When talking with heterosexual friends or family members, it's sometimes tough to help them understand this, because they have no frame of reference for your experience. Try to encourage others to see your sexual orientation in the same way as they see your eye color - it is something you were born with and did not choose. It is something that is simply a part of your being, and not something you can change. There isn't any need to - being gay is just another way of being, and there is nothing wrong with it at all, neither is there anything wrong with you for being gay.

In order for others to accept you, you have to learn to accept yourself first. The fact that you are gay does not change you as a person. You are unique individual, you are, and always have been, gay. Do not let the sudden realization change who you are. It should not matter what sexual orientation you are, you loved yourself before and this is only another reason to love yourself, for being different. There are also a lot of groups you can join with people who are going through the same things. Sometimes, getting to know people who are in the same situation is all you need to feel better. I hope that helps.