Why does my boyfriend has a lower sex drive than me?

I know you are frustrated here, and ordinarily I would say that maybe he's cheating on you; but not this time. It sounds like his work is taking its toll on him, and he is just exhausted. Both emotionally and physically. Be patient with him, and keep the communication going. He may be feeling as frustrated as you are; he may even be feeling guilty about the whole thing, and feel he's letting you down. Your understanding and support will help you get through this, and hopefully it won't become a permanent thing. Good luck!

I am glad you cleared up that you truly believe the basis of your question is that he has a long and stressful job. And this is a highly valid option. I wish for him the hard work pays off.

I too am 30.. I think I missed this in my first read. I can also relate to working hard and long hours. A 60 hour work week is not uncommon for me. I am also married in a relationship that started with dating about 4 years ago.

When I was younger I had been in relationships where sex 15 times a week was normal throughout. As I have aged my sex drive has dwindled a bit, but I could also easily relate this to working long hours, as I have worked 50 to 80 hour work weeks for the past 6 years or so.

I am sorry that I can't find the words to provide a much better reasoning for my thinking at this time, but I believe that in my own personal situation, work is not the real concern, I would say that age or interest are the major players.

And for me only, I can honestly say that sex in a relationship for me always dwindles with time. To say that I lose interest may be a little harsh to my partners. It is more that I get used to the regular. I have dated some women who were much better at keeping the spark there than others.

I can honestly say that I feel a little out for getting two disagreeing remarks in my prior comment. I was pointing out some options I feel are still valid but clearly not for you situation based upon your added remarks.

As I said before, I may have read your question a little fast the first time, In the 4th time around I noticed again that you said you get naked all the time. And once again I may be saying the same thing again or maybe making some others disagree again. For example, say you are naked at the front door when your guy comes home. This is very nice and surely we like it. However, I would compare this to giving a child a gift without wrapping it. Not wrapping that gift still makes that child happy, but in not doing so, you stole many different feelings and emotions from them. They missed various levels of exhilaration, anticipation and others. If they truly like it their only left with a little excitement.

So, I can say it again, and maybe it is even a little clearer with me based on rereads and your additions, as a guy I can have and give you any number of reasons not to have sex and they will all be valid and acceptable. But if she gives me any compelling reason for it, whatever my condition is, I will make it happen.

What do you think are some compelling reasons for him? Figure these out and I'll give you a 98% chance you get exactly what you want.

I think that it is interesting that when a guy is not completely into sex (or at least as much as his partner) that most people think that either he is not interested, or that foul play is involved. I am not referring to your question, just the answers (and others that I have seen concerning the same subject.

It's an unfortunate fact of life that as men get to their 30s (are so on from there) they typically lose sex drive. It's the way that most of us are built. In addition, you are been in the relationship for a while and that can also lower the sex drive (which stinks when one person isn't feeling the lack of libido).

I don't know your whole situation, but all I see here is that he doesn't have sex drive that you do (some guys don't, and just because he did before that could have just been new relationship excitement,... it doesn't mean he is any less interested). I don't think that there is any foul play, and I don't think that he cares for you any less.

He is probably just tired, stressed, etc, etc. Still though, knowing why he is acting this way won't help your 'needs' so you may just need to take matters into your own hand (no pun intended). Let him know that he makes you feel very sexy, and that you need to take care of that while he is there, whether he wants to or not. Then climb on top of him.

Most times once you start things he should get into it,.... sometimes he might not (that would probably be more rare though). I really love my girl, and I am really into her,.. but sometimes I am just too beat to do anything,.. fortunately she has never let that stop her (fortunate for both of us).

If this really bothers you though, talk to him some more, but make sure that you are not blaming him, or attacking him. Just go at it from the angle that you are extremely excited by him, and it's too much for you to not act on, so you would really enjoy his participation.

Best of luck.

This could be many things:

1) he is getting it somewhere else?

2) maybe he is tired and it is easier to masturbate?

3) maybe he has lost a little interest.

4) maybe you have changed in some way?

3 is the most likely. And this likely has nothing to do with you personally. Sex always dwindles a bit after the initial lust phase. However, this is when I believe women hold all of the cards. You have the power to initiate. I don't know what he likes, but if you dress up in sexy lingerie and high heels, as a man he cannot control himself from getting turned on! If he says no to this then you should worry. I have never been able to resist my wife when she dresses up and initiates. The sexy clothes and shoes turn me on, but also the fact that she did this for me. I think her dressing up for me makes her feel sexier too...this makes the sex better for both of us! More women need to do this for there women more often.

It is possible that when he's home since he only gets to be there once a month he wants to relax. Does he have a stressful career? If he's under a lot of stress at work it may be causing him to have a low sex drive.

Do you suspect foul play, like maybe he's getting it from somewhere else? Your relationship/living arrangement isn't typical so that's why I ask.