Should I just do one night stands? 25 year old virgin here.

I feel ashamed of it, and people think my sexual history is a lot more than I let on. I really want to lose it, but I want to be comfortable with the guy I have sex with, I want to be in a relationship, but I am starting to think that I should just do a one night stand to get it over with. Then I won't have to be one anymore. I am worried that a guy will be able to tell that I am one when I finally do have sex, and if I lie to him that I am not, he might find out when we have sex and be upset. So I keep thinking I should have one night stands so I won't feel tight when I have sex with someone I like, and they will never know my shameful secret. I already have fake boyfriends made up for when a future boyfriends asks about past relationships. It might sound bad, but I feel like at my age it's a bad thing to still be one. All the guys I know talk about how no one wants a virgin.
1 0

Most Helpful Girls

  • I can totally understand how you're feeling. I'm going to be 22 in less than a month and I am a virgin. Personally, I don't think you should give it up for a one night stand. You will probably regret it down the road. Because whether or not anyone likes to admit it, you always remember your firsts. I've had the same thoughts though. A lot of my friends talk about how unappealing virgins are and it usually makes me feel like a complete idiot. Just wait for a guy that makes you comfortable and just be honest with him and if he's any sort of a man he will respect you. Don't feel weird for being a virgin at 25, it just means you haven't found the right person to share your body with and there should be absolutely no shame in that. When the right guy comes along , you'll want to lose it and everything will be lovely. :)

  • It's definitely not shameful to still be a virgin. Don't give into the pressure that is in the movies/new/ads today. It's not necessary to lose your virginity early. It's best to wait for the right person. I wish that I had waited.

    Also, losing your virginity can be painful. You need to have a partner who understands and is willing to take the time to make sure you are ready and be gentle with you. You won't get that in a one night stand. One night stands are all about the selfish enjoyment of sex. Your partner won't care enough to be gentle with you.

Most Helpful Guys

  • really, the issue is not losing your virginity, you should hold on to it. however, it is a bit odd you have never felt comfortable enough to lose it... Maybe there are some issues THERE. Put it this way, I am a fairly decent guy I think. Romantic, caring, faithful, etc. If I met a girl who was a virgin, it would not turn me off. However, if I met a girl who told me she had sex with one guy and it was a one night stand I would be confused...

    • I've never been in a relationship. So the only way I can lose it is if I had a one night stand. Unless I met someone I was comfortable with. If I'd been in a relationship at 20/21, believe me I'd have lost it then. I've been trying to get a boyfriend, but have never met anyone who wants to be with me. So don't really know how else I could be really comfortable losing it unless I started sleeping with friends or something.

    • i understand how you are feeling. But the solution to your problem is finding that relationship, not losing your virginity. Go for internet dating. Don't introduced yourself as"hi I'm a virigin", if it comes up, then it comes up. at that point, you are clearly comfortable enough to talk about sex, so why not do it?

    • I feel like it's my looks that prevent me from finding someone, I've done online dating in the past though and it has come up where I've discussed why exactly I am still one. Turns off some guys they automatically assume I'll be clingy or in one case, that I'd be as mature as a 16 year old in a relationship. I'm not really sure what he meant by that, but I worry guys will think that too when they know I've never been in one. However, I've never been clingy and I can't see sex changing that.

    • Show All
  • dont do a one night stand, if you respected your self up till now then you should still respect yourself and wait till you find a guy that truly loves you. and don't worry you will find someone some day who truly appriciates all of you and they won't care if your a virgin or not. :-)

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

0 5
  • "I really want to lose it, but I want to be comfortable with the guy I have sex with, I want to be in a relationship."

    You know what you want, so hold out for it. No point in one-night stands if you're positive you want something else.

  • if it makes you feel any better I'm a 20 year old virgin...and I feel about the same way you do..itll be worth wait when you meet the right person

  • Don't feel ashamed of it. I think it's really sad that people let their lack of sexual experience determine their own personal value or desireability.

    • Agreed.

  • No, simply just wait for the right person in a relationship. Then not only you'll lose your virginity but afterward continue having sex and be enjoying with the person you love. :D

  • i just turned 24 and I am still a virgin, it would be great if I could lose my virginity to a virgin, it would be more romantic and special, but since you are a girl, remember, obviously it is much easier for girls to get sex than it is for guys