Porn - can I ask him to stop while I am pregnant?

watching porn isn't cheating, just fills the gap and gives us new ideas in bed.

I noticed this question was asked 7 months ago, but I'll answer it in case others read this in a similar situation.
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Porn is cheating if reading trashy romance novels is cheating.
Porn is cheating if any time you look at George Clooney is cheating.
Porn is cheating if anytime you masturbate whilst in the relationship is cheating.
Porn is cheating if you fantasise about that "Lone Gunman" or "The Bad Boy' or "The Headmaster" is cheating.

Am I making my point?

Porn is not cheating.
It's not even CLOSE to cheating. A guy looks at porn for the exact same reason a girl reads a romance novel. To masturbate to. Further, guys masturbating is a bit different to girls. We do it a lot, and we've been doing it since we hit puberty. We do it when we're single. We do it in a relationship. We do it when we have active sex lives. We do it even if we don't feel like sex.

When we look at porn, we don't form any emotional bond to the t*ts on the screen. We don't give a damn what the "porn plot" is. We couldn't give a rats ass whose pool was dirty. We just need breasts, genitalia, something bouncing, lesbians, twins! There's no emotional attachment to body parts. I would argue that a female fantasising over a fictional character is far closer to infidelity than what we guys do.

To the girls:
We do not look at porn because we love you any less, because we think your ugly or for any other reason concerning you. We look at porn because we've been doing it since we were 12. We look at porn any thoughts of you are completely gone. There's no hidden comparison. We just like watching two lesbian DD breasted girls sometimes. (And after we're done, we'll still love you).

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Hollymayb does(did) have a right to be angry. Because he made a promise and he broke it. However, the promise he made was a 'politicians promise'. It was one of those absurd promises that really you shouldn't have believed he'd keep anyhow. What he probably meant was "I promise not to let you catch me masturbating to internet porn again".

no because that just like him saying to can you stop eating because your pregnant.
you see what I'm saying?

He sounds like he has no impulse control, no respect for your wishes, or both. You need to sit him down and tell him like it is. Disconnect your internet if he continually hurts your feelings by deliberately ignoring your requests. I don't think you're being unreasonable. I think your man needs to realize that just because he doesn't have a uterus, doesn't mean he doesn't have any responsibility. You are making an effort to do what's right for the baby, you're giving him sex to keep him happy, the least he could do is lay off the porn so that you're less stressed, which means the baby is less stressed.

If I were you, and he kept ignoring me, I'd take a bat to his porn collection and get rid of the computer and say 'you want porn?! lets see you watch porn now you selfish asshole!'

but that's just me, and I have a tendency to way over-react to stuff like this

But seriously, tell him he should respect your wishes because at least he doesn't have to have a small human living inside him and stepping on his intestines

Are you still taking care of him sexually? If you are tending to his needs, then I think you have placed a valid request.

He looks at porn because he gets a sexual release from it. Yes I feel it is unreasonable to ask him to give it up... why... because it puts him at risk for cheating... ask yourself, would you rather have him masturbate to someone whom he will NEVER see in person... or have sex with someone to relieve himself...

Guys are not "wired" like girls... guys have a constant "tick tick tick" in their heads, wanting to have sex.

Some guys are attracted to women when pregnant (I'm one of them) others find pregnant women
repugnant... This is a personal matter and neither is right or wrong.

Masturbation is NOT CHEATING! Get over it ... he's just getting off... assuming he treats you well in other ways, just concede that you will have to tolerate this behavior until you can have relations with him again.

Joe

Remember, those pics on internet are made like this: 010101110100011101010101001110 010101110100011101010101001110010101110100011101010101001110011101010101001110010101110100011101010101001110 010101110100011101010101001110 010101110100011101010101001110 010101110100011101010101001110 010101110100011101010101001110 010101110100011101010101001110010101110100011101010101001110.

Really disgusting, isn't it? Cheating with 010101110100011101010101001110 010101110100011101010101001110 010101110100011101010101001110 A SHAME!
I'm gonna throw up...(and this was only a teeny weeny little pit of it..disgusting!) :-P Make him sleep on the carpet for 6 months and get in touch with your lawyer for a divorce: he deserves it.

I know you are pregnant, not feeling good emotionally and physically. But I wan to suggest something to you that should "get him off" and keep associating you with sex.


Mind you I am only making a suggestion and it might be something he might consider pretty hot AND your the one making it hot.

Let him watch porn but ONLY when you are around, as a matter of fact. have him sit by the computer nude, bring him his DVD's nude and ask him "which one is your favorite?".

When he looks at you in complete surprise and says "derrr, that one" pop it in, press play and start rubbing his chest (or something) slowly.

when you see a hot scene, ask him if he likes this scene, if he says yes...pleasure him and tell him to keep wathcing the screen and touch you.


Sounds pretty basic but my idea is you are re enforcing and re conditioning him to keep looking at you as his source of excitement and pleasure, even if his eyes detour to the screen to look at jenna jameson, you are the one he is touching and making it real.


Just my 2cents and I think ti might just work, be creative. Ohhh and remember...you are pregnant and your breast are probably pretty big now. What guy doesn't want to see his girl with even bigger boobs(may be immature, but it is true) . Use it to your advantage. like I said be creative and turn your situation into something good and memorable for you both.

You're his girl, he should be getting off on you and with you. Correct?

I would walk away... Only unhappiness... ahead.

These posts are hilarious, cause they all end up the same, I told my boyfriend to stop looking at porn and he said he would, but then I found out he really didn't lol OF COURSE HE DIDN'T get it though your heads it won't happen, just let it be, we have been looking at porn for a very very long time, and you think a woman is going to change that? Lol yeah right give me a break we will tell you what you wanna hear but it won't happen.

i believe that guys, in general, CANT be with one "woman" in his life... of course we develop a strong connection with the One we're with, but for some reason, guys want to be with more than one.. but you know we don't actually do it because that would screw up a very good thing... so Man invented Porn.

If he's masturbating more than you have sex then that's a problem lol I think..
but then again ur pregnant so I'm not sure how it works then.. but maybe he could do you :P

I will answer one question, and yes, it is stupid that you think that porn feels like he's cheating on you.

It's better to know he's at home whackin' it to Jenna than not home doing it with someone else.

It is unrealistic to ask a guy to quit temporarily or to only use one kind of porn media. It is not unrealistic to ask him to quit all together. Watching porn is extremely stimulating and addicting and it is not something that a guy can easily start and stop--it pretty much is an all or nothing kind of thing.

Sure it is common for lots of guys to watch porn, but that does not mean that it is good or helpful. I find it incredible that so many men are so selfish that they refuse to recognize that porn is causing the women in their lives real pain just to satisfy their fantasy feel good.

You are not wrong, nor are you the problem, despite what men will say--they have to justify porn watching and rationalize the problem as residing in the women they love because to say otherwise would mean that they should quit also.

I don't think he watches porn because he thinks you're ugly, but he might. It does feel like cheating because in a way it is--he is satisfying his sexual urges with other women, even if they are only 2-D. It is also more common for men who regularly indulge in pornography to actually engage in extramarital affairs.

If you want him to quit, though, it has to be a long-term commitment that comes from the inside. Both you and he will have to work on it together over time. Also, and this is going to be the most controversial thing I will say, but you both will have to commit yourselves to a higher spiritual plane. Pornography and a libertine lifestyle leads one away from God, consequently committing to a more spiritual life, "a more excellent way," will naturally lead you in the other direction. I believe this is also an important consideration for your child. Your child will pick up on the values you believe in and the lifestyle you lead. You need to model your life the way you would hope your child will follow, because what we do and what we are speaks louder than anything we will ever say.

I wish you the very best and I hope you have a very happy and fulfilling life as a mother. Being a father for me has been a truly spiritual experience as I realize that I have a great responsibility to do all the good I can for my children and my wife.

Its normal for a guy to watch porn. You shouldn't tell him to stop. He loves you but he needs his pron too! lol

Of course you can ask, but you may be setting yourself up for disappointment. Then again, it is possible he might comply with your wishes. The real issue too me is your insecurity not his computer activities. You have no reason to feel insecure. Your hormones are running wild and so you probably have difficulty controlling your emotions, but being pregnant does not detract from your beauty. I would hope he would be a bit more understanding and spend the time too help you feel secure if you need help.
If he starts going out looking for other girls, then you have a problem, but so far he is staying with you. Hopefully you can appreciate his being there.

I don't think his porn habit has anything with how you look now, given that he had a porn habit beforehand, and I find asking him to lay off the internet porn while keeping the DVDs a fair, reasonable compromise.

I'm wondering, though, whether the compromise was something which he agreed to do, or something you asked him to do, which he declined. Because this would determine, to a large extent, how he's likely to respond.

your sending mixed messages by letting him keep his DVDs, yet deny internet. porn is porn...who cares the source.
its just not possible to demand a guy to deny his urges that he can't control just because you are insecure. if he is being discrete by not looking at porn while you are in the room to respect your feelings, its only fair that you allow him to get his urges out of his system.

fyi just because you can't drink certain things for the baby, to impose restrictions on anyone is just not right. what if you were actually overweight? are you gonna make everyone around you eat salads until you are happy with yourself?
don't let the hormone fairy get too far inside yer head.

well, yes, it is silly to think that porn is cheating (I won't call it stupid).
BUT--he should be willing to cater to you right now, and it really isn't that hard to stay away from porn.
So, you are being a bit silly, but he is being an ass for not complying with such a minor request, when you are carrying his child.

Actually, since it sounds like he's living with you, I think you have a right to ask him to hold off on porn permanently! It doesn't make any sense to have a girlfriend or wife, get her pregnant and feel you still have a right to spend your time looking at other naked women, couples etc, doing all kinds of crazy sex acts and getting off on that crap. If he loves you, he's chosen the wrong priority by choosing porn over centering his attention on you. It seems to me that the very least he could do is lay off porn like you asked. If he can't even do that, I doubt that he'll be around for you in the long run. You're interest and concerns are not ahead of his own like they should be.

He should delete ALL his porn.

Why should he keep it? He has you now. Porn is an addiction. If left unchecked, it will consume him like a parasite. Eventually this will affect (as it already has) his relationships and those he loves and cares about.

For his sake and yours, he should delete and trash all his porn. After all, he's suppose to love you more isn't he ?

I know this is a late response, but I just had my daughter in April. When I was pregnant, my hormones were going crazy and I was really depressed. My boyfriend was really big on watching hard core porn. I was one of the rare cases in pregnancy where I didn't gain any weight, but I still felt like I wasn't attractive anymore. You are not stupid. I personally think porn is cheating. My boyfriend is looking at other girls who are completely naked. What's not cheating about that? Anyway, my boyfriend stopped watching porn while I was pregnant, and to THIS DAY he hasn't watched it again. It is possible for a man to stop.

I think that it is reasonable to ask him to stop.

you did have the right to be upset

aww hehehe poor thing..he should be giving enough,to give you that request...and I don't think having sex with a pregnant girl would be fun for him but at least do it for you..this is the time of your life where you feel the horniest...he made that baby and you compromise he should be too..

on the other hand,he needs to get off lady,its a good thing he is watching porn insted of going out and look for it somewhere else..would you like that? but yeh he should give way while you're pregnant..other guys I know,when their wife was pregnant they don't even think about having sex nor pron,they tend to all their wife's need first and do everything that makes them comfortable their like the queens and princesses...i have bad feeling about this guy..if he can't be honest to you about porn he would never be honest to you about other girls..

Porn is definitely not cheating...my boyfriend and I both look at it when we masturbate, and sometimes we just watch each other masturbate which is a whole different form of porn, but I think unless the person is reacting to you, and knows you're there, it's not porn. So live chat would be cheating in a way, or phone sex. But watching a video isn't. I'd probably be more upset if there was a specific porn star he always looked at, but it still wouldn't be cheating. You're probably just very emotional because you're pregnant (Have you given birth yet?) but I don't think it's a big deal. He's probably afraid to have sex with you because he's afraid he'll hurt the baby. A lot of guys get jittery about that.

he is warming up for when the kid gets born.

It is very selfish of HIM to be doing something that is making you feel horrible. You know what your needs are, so explain them to him, using 'feeling messages'...tell him how it makes you feel when he does that...explain to him how it would make you feel if he didn't do that anymore... You need to be with someone who respects you...

You know I use to be so sensitive. I have come to an understanding that no matter what men will still look at porn will still be gawking at other women and be whacking off. Its better they do those things then going to the next door neighbor and poking her.

Your feelings are not stupid-thousand/millions of women feel the same way you do. You merely asked him not to use it on the computer-so you wouldn't have to see it-that seems like a pretty fair request to me. He should have been a little more sensitive-especially since your pregnant. But that's a man for you-those addictions are pretty hard to kick...I hope he will be more caring in the future-especially when your little one arrives.

No, it's not stupid and I don't think he's looking at porn because he thinks your ugly. Do remember that all these fears and emotions you're having are NORMAL.

I hate it when men reply to thse porn topics with answers that say "men can't stop" or "women that object to porn are insecure and too jealous."

Jealousy is normal, and guys would be jealous too if they found their gf's watching videos of other hot guys.

Tell him how you feel and he should seriously consider your feelings.

If not, you could always start viewing your own vids of hot guys. See how he feels.

It's harmless, don't make it such a big deal. Almost every guy does it, the only variable is whether they hide it or not. You being pregnant had nothing to do with it. He did this before you were pregnant and he'll do it after. Trying to make a guy's sexuality match what you think it should be will only make everyone unhappy.

Look, most guys love porn and it's not something they'll ever give up, not even after they're married, but you have to understand that it has nothing to do with you. Chances are that he won't quit anytime soon, and it's probably best that you allow him to be open with you about it so he doesn't just do it on the sly.

no I really don't think he was looking at porn because he thought you are ugly now, some men just like to look at porn...and your really emotional right now is probably why your feeling like you are about the porn...if you asked him to lay off then he should, just sit him down and let him know how your feeling, and that the porn is making you feel inaddaquit right now