My boyfriend is... well, girlier than I am. Are we normal?

You are giving too much importance to sex. 2-3 times would be great if you both do other exciting things together as well.

maybe its not him, maybe its you... you never know, try analyzing the problem more, see if there's anything you're doing wrong

I think you have different expectations in a boyfriend. Some straight guys are transgendered, meaning they are more feminine, but not gay. Transgendered does not mean you are gay or lesbian. I once dated this girl who was a tomboy. Remember, not all guys are sex-driven. If you are having trouble with your masturbation let him know.

Is there any possibility that he is gay and is covering that with your relationship?
Don't know, just my though!

Well it kind of does sound ungratefull. most girls I know would be thrilled to have the kind of boyfriend that you have. Sex twice or three times a week is plenty enough.

I was going to chime in with that he just may have a low sex drive, but then you ended with the back rubs and flowers ALL the time. That pretty much convinced me he's gay but can't come to terms with it in his head.

yeah that's redonkulous your not crazy but yeah try talking to him about it seriously but I don't understand that at all.

No Seriously What? You are the kind of girlfriend every guy fantasies about. And every girl would want such a guy as you are having is what the opinion of most girls I have been speaking to. Girls in my geographical area would complain just the opposite of what you are complaining about! Amazing!

wow thast crazzzzyyyyyy. I wish I was in that position. I don't blame you for doin things on ur own but you should say something to him. I don't know if he is a real gu because every guy I knon would wanna have sex 3 or 4 times a day. there no such thing as too much sex its great for you and keeps you in shape.lol.but hope everything works out and you get pleased

your boyfriend is probably bi-sexual. have you asked him this. or just a softie.
you should link up with me instead ;)

did you try and find out if he's gay or not? I doubt he is but its a possibility.

No joke, he's likely gay. You might want to run through the other alternatives, namely medical or psychological concerns. But a young man who's physically and mentally sound who doesn't like sleeping with girls, usually likes sleeping with guys.

If I were him I'd just do it anyway. I don't think there's any such thing as having too much sex. If he's not exciting enough, well, maybe he's just a boring guy. Fun penis or boring penis, he should still let you use it.

I think he is just shy and wants to take it slowly. It can mean that he likes you a lot and doesn't want to spoil it by taking it too fast.

And sex 2-3 times a week? You want more? Wow.I'm sure all the other guys are going What?!

not tryin be funny but he might be gay, a lot of those signs are shown before a dude comes out the closet.

where are you and why aren't we dating, lol

fire gift might be right, if he doesn't thing he is meeting the expectations then he won't want as much sex. but all guys have different levels of hormones and he just might not be sex crazzed

Guys want to pleasure a women. They feel bad if they don't satisfy a woman. Tell him that you want a guy that is dominant. Tell him what to do during sex to turn you on. Guys don't want sex all the time, it's a bit of work. You give him lots of it, so he's not always wanting it.
Maybe when it comes to sex, that's not his style so tell him what you want him to do during sex. I don't think you can change his sex drive. Maybe he's not always wanting to get in girls pants. Maybe he just really likes you and doesn't want to disrespect you by looking at other girls.

As for flowers, you should tell him to stop, tell him that you know he loves you and don't have to keep sending you shit like flowers. He already has you, and if he wants to keep you, just tell him to nail you.

He probably feels like he is respecting you and being a gentleman. I guess you aren't appreciating it. If it's that big of a problem for you, then maybe you should talk it over with him.

what you need to do is find what really turns him on, what drives him crazy. I know for a fact 2 of my friends, and myself as well like to be dominated etc. found this out after a couple relationships where I got bored in bed, eventually dated a goth chick, and she strangled me and I loved it. lol weird :D

Maybe he is more sexual than you might think and doesn't want you thinking less of him for being more sexually interested than you might think, I really only have two suggestions no matter the reasons he's not doing what you'd like; one you could ask him to be more sexual and or why he isn't very sexual; and two you could try reassuring it's ok, in fact you want him to be more sexual. Not all guys are into checking out other females, especially if they think they have a really great one.

You don't sound ungrateful, it could be that he is just uncomfortable with his sexuality. Maybe he was sexually repressed growing up? I like to cuddle but if something gets started I jump on it along with 99.99% of the other guys ALIVE!

in any case no you are not a bad girlfriend if anything you are a dream, but he just doesn't know it.

well hmm. I know I am not a macho guy, and in my last relationship I was the "girlier one" but I always had the highest sex drive. its awesome you masturbate, you need to know what makes YOU feel good.are you in canada ;-)? anyways, maybe there is other stuff on his mind, the mind CAN control the dick, trust me. just do a bit of digging to get to the bottom of it or find someone like me who has an incredible sex drive, you will be a lot happier. sex isn't the be-all and end-all to relationships, but in my opinion, being sexually compatible is HUGE! my relationships ended in part due to this!

heres my point of view.im not a perve or anything but ill be glad to have a girl like u.i thnk ur one of those girls that really actually like sex (not saying the other girls don't ). I agree with the guy below if he doesn't have it with you wen you tell him to den there's a problem and I would start looking 4 another dude. Trust me if he would look at other girls all the time that would be a problem, but i would look at other girls jus to see the reaction on ur face and to get you little bit jealous.lol

Honestly, I'd start looking for someone new that could fulfill your sexual needs. If sex is important to you then you're only doing yourself a disservice by settling for a relationship with someone that's not going to meet your sexual needs. And that goes for everything in relationships--If you're with someone and they're not holding up their end of the relationship where both of you are getting what you need, then it's time to move on. If he's not into sex, but you are, then he'd be better off with a woman that's not sexual, and vice versa for yourself.

From where I'm seated, it sounds like your pretty lucky. But if you want to have sex more often, tell him that you'd like your relationship to be more sexual. So that he will know.

Lol maybe he's gay. Wow that is very strange for a guy to be like that, yeah in a way he's being a woman. He rather cuddle then have sex are you kidding me, who the hell says I am not in the mood right now, he doesn't watch porn with you when you ask him to, and to top it off he doesn't look at other women, no man can resist not looking at other women we are programmed to look at other women. Don't worry though you will soon get fed up with it and either cheat on him or dump him and then you find another guy who likes to have sex, you know a man. It's a dog eat dog world out there and only the strong can survive this game, and well you boyfriend is a wimp girls don't like wimps. That's just how it goes.

Maybe you should talk to him and review the subjects which turns him up.

Do you like him to look at other girls? Have I read correct? Its so strange. Please talk to my girlfriend as I like to look nastily at girls and women but she hates this.

It might be his conditioning, or he just might be one of those guys that doesn't get aroused very often.
This is how he is, and chances are it isn't going to change. You'll have to accept it, or have a different boyfriend.

First of all, you are not a bad girlfriend for masturbating. If he's not getting the job done, then he's not getting the job done... Simple as that. And even if he started assuming a more "manly" role and, excuse my crudeness, began to "beat it up" every night, you still shouldn't question your worth and/or success as a girlfriend. Masturbation can be very helpful in discovering what stimulates you and, consequently, what you would like him to do to you in bed. But, I digress.

To get straight to the point, sweetheart, your man is either gay or is terribly insecure about his sexual prowess (or lack thereof) and is clinging desperately to the (false) notion that cuddling and being "sensitive" will mask his erotic shortcomings (no pun intended).

So, where does that leave you? Well, honestly, dear, the ball is in your court. You have to decide what you are willing to accept. You may conclude that a marginal sex life is something you could learn to live with. However, keep in mind, most marriages/relationships end over (a) money, (b) sex, or (c) an unfortunate combination of both. It may appear slightly inappropriate to mention it, but let's be honest -- sex is important!

I would recommend politely asking him about this. Remember, communication is key in any relationship and you at least owe him the courtesy of telling him what is bothering you. If he tries to change, roll with it for a while and test the waters. Otherwise, throw him the deuces and leave. And quite frankly, I think he is exhibiting gay tendencies so I wouldn't wait long before making that decision.

Sorry for the long post. Hope I could help.

-D. Duval

I don't really have any advice that everyone else didn't already cover,... I just wanted to make an observation.

If we (guys) want sex too much, we are horny, and just want you for your bodies.

If we don't want it enough, then we must not be attracted to you, or we might be gay.

Ladies, and be honest now, do you really listen to some of the things that you say, or realize the absolute flood of mixed signals that you send guys?

Or maybe it's just that we always want what we don't have,.... I dunno

your boyfriend is gay most likely.

Is he more stressed than you?

What's your number? :)

either tha or he is not happy with you comes to sex..girls could be beautiful and hot and a turn on but if love is absent or if love is far away they don't get the urge to do that even if they have a hard on..my boyfriend loves his ex and started to be "tug of war" between me and her so he is just frustrated..i feel bad but he is a highly sexual guy like I do..i wait when he is in the mood..i leave his problem up to him,i masturbate alot..just there when he needs me I don't offer much either..

haha that's funny

well I thought my best friend friends boyfriend was gay too...
but I guess not..knocked her up and got prego, now he's a daddy...

(I still think he is gay though)*shh*

Hmm I had a boyfriend who was that way. Here are a few things that factored into it. His parents only had sex for procreation. He thought that it was kind of bad to have sex. We were around each other 24/7 and touching, and so there wasn't the sexual inspiration/spark. He smoked.

LOL I'd swap with you =P
my boyfriend is always horny *sigh* and I'm not lol

Have you asked him if he has any fetishes? Some guys like that actually tend to be submissive guys in bed and usually aren't up for sex if it's not "dominated" to them. And if he is, that's awesome, because it's amazing to have a guy that you can have do anything you want.

i think he is just a sweet non sexual guy. and I guess you should talk to him about it

All I can tell you is that it'll keep getting worse until you go off on him and tell him you're not satisfied. (I hope he's not a gamer too, because then your relationship would be EXACTLY the same as mine with my boyfriend of 3 years) He's likely not gay as people are saying, but just stressed out, maybe overworked in everyday life and can't get around to enjoying things anymore, you especially. I had a bit of an emotional breakdown with my boyfriend over this problem, and surprisingly enough, after we FINALLY talked things out, he's back to wanting me more than ever, and I finally get the affection I was lacking :) Don't bottle it up though. Be open with him and show him you need him to want you back or this isn't going to work out in the long run.

He might be gay and is hiding it .
5 years later, you don't want to realize you went out with a gay guy.

well its pretty unusual what u're saying.there must be a reason 4 that.i think you 2 should sit and talk abt it.just be honest and tell him that u're curious abt his sexual behavour.i'd be dying 2 know what's really wrong.it's either he's gay.or that he's not over sm old love (that if he's the romantic type of guy:P.cz most guys even if they love sm1 its ok 2 hv sex wth sm1 else).

but no u're not ungrateful although its smth new (2 get flowers &bk rubs 4 free;)
its natural feeling 2 wonder and get curious abt that guy's deal.i know sex z not everything but don't know guys do it wether they feel like it (in the mood) or not.they get in the mood so quick .
so yeah I'd be surprised 2 if I were u.

If I were you, I'd just take his penis out and start playing with it for a little while, then go down on him. If he's into it, get on top and take him. If he tells you he's not in the mood. he probably is gay. No straight man would stop you if you did that.

Also, every gay masturbates, even if you don't see him do it. he does. Maybe in the shower, maybe when he's goes to the restroom at home, maybe when you're not around, but they all do it. even if they're gay.

haha. I've gone through that. and it sucks. you aren't a bad girlfriend, you just crave sex more.

I just think that sometimes two incompatible humans meet sup. when a man and a woman have the same sex drive there is rarely a problem--as between me and mah man--sex is GREAT!

However, if a girl who likes sex meets up with a man with a lover sex drive (and vice cersa) problems ensure.

I mean, for the guys who say women are complaining about nothin-don't you complain to your guy friends if your gal ain't giving it up enough? Or giving you crap fro looking at other girls?

we want what we want from our lovers and partners and if we don't get it we seek answers, via complaints.

Your hunny could be stressed, afraid he is doing something wrong or any number of things.

Talk to him and let him know that you want it a bit more.

Communication is key.

I would kill for a guy like yours. Don't blow it he sounds great.

you don't sound ungreatful but he need to get in touch with macho side and stop making you climb the walls and just be open with him

I just got out of a similar relationship. He wasn't interested in sex and it got to the point that I was getting upset and frustrated and it was even making my self esteem go down. Honestly, it ruined our relationship. I honestly feel like a man who is not interested in sex has some kind of sexual hang up. Was he abused? Does he smoke? Does he have a high stress job? I guess you need to decide if this is really what you want in a relationship.

Hi =D hehe you know what! . I have the same problem with my boyfriend . our sex is . zZzZz!* if you know what I mean hehe.Of course it's not ungrateful,just "being a human" . I wish that my boy chase me and want to make love to me . hehe he don't.He always gives me a flower,perfume and so much but not sex! you're not a bad girlfriend for masturbatin a lot on your own,i do it too =D and probably all the girls who is in this situation.But the only thing to do is . maybe stop acting like you care,like you don't want it . then he's going to want it! trust me sweetie,just play . I'm so fine but you can't have boy!

To me, I would love to have a relationship like that. Without a lot of sex, well none at all for me. (Hence I'm a virgin) It shows he really loves you if he doesn't want just sex. But if you really want sex, talk to him about it. And it isn't ungrateful, it's just you have needs that doesn't appear he needs as much. I want flowers and back rubs:( hehe. I think that's so cute.

but good luck. and you should discuss your needs/wants with him. I'm sure he'll understand and help you out.

That's kind of strange.maybe he's had one too many anger management classes? I honestly don't know what to say other than if you're basically unhappy in the relationship and being "nice" (for lack of a better term) is just his nature then there's a low chance anything will change in the long run and you might as well cut your losses and find a dude who's more "lumberjack" acting.

Girl. He seems fine, my your still hooked to your previous relationships and the sex that you had with them. Give him time maybe he'll come around.

I don't know many guys like that, haven't even met a god damn guy who would ignore sex! Well at least that brings a safety to relationship, that he's not some pervert dude just to stay in in oder to tuck you. But you must talk to him about that. You never know what problems he might be facing. Maybe lack of confidence in his manly pride or maybe there's a problem with it that includes discomfort or pain down there. I don't think it could be the fact that he just doesn't get turned on by you. By the way, does he and has he helped you out another way, (how to be more literate, mm help of his fingers?) I know you're normal, because it's normal to want sex. And it doesn't mean he's girly. A girly person is not the one who resists sex, actually trust me, women are not behind men when it comes to sexual needs.Talk to him and best of luck!

Three times a week is good after 8 months. I think what you new is a numskull with one thing on his mind. You don't need a relationship for that. It is obvious that your sex drive is in overdrive so do yourself and your boyfriend a favor and break up with him. And if you want what I think you want go to the club and don't pick up the guy who all the girls want look for that guy that starving he'll please you till you just want to cuddle. Then look for the nice guy.

I think that people are just different across the board. I am dealing with this subject, but in a totally different way. I like having sex more than 2 or 3 times a week, but I also don't like my boyfriend to watch porn. I've asked him to stop and feel he would if I were important enough to him. He says the same thing back to me, if he were important to me, than I wouldn't break up with him just for that. We both have different ideas about how we want our partners to be sexually. The only important thing is if we can accept our mate for who they are....the only other option is breaking up and finding someone more compatible in that area...but just remember, you may have totally different troubles in other areas with someone else, so be careful what you wish for.

wow are you sure he is not gay
I used ask myself the same question but I know men are different doesn't really seem like a answer I also have a big sexual appetite sometimes I go to bed unsatisfied I would like it at least twice a day buy hey

I understand where you are coming from, sometimes I get offended if I dress up really sexy and my boyfriend doesn't react. but still 3 times a week is pretty good, if you want more, ask him and tell him how you feel.

Well well well I don't know on this one maybe you should ask him how he feels about the sex in the relationship.

What is wrong with you? he sounds great!! 2-3 times a week would be great!! My boyfriend and I are so busy i barely get to see him once a week!
Most women would kill for a guy like that!!!!

Ha! That's a great question. I think what you describe is normal after about 6-12 months. The relationship simmers down and both parties usually stop trying to be all sexy hot like they did in the "courting" phase. If he's got any turn ons like spiked heels, black lace or whatever, I'd leverage that as much as possible. Maybe send him some sexy texts throughout the day to keep his brain in a sexier state of mind (?) so he comes home ready to go.

I'm sure there are tons of tips for spicing up your sex life out there - just google that a few times. Otherwise, I think it's kinda cute and I bet all the guys reading the question are like, "damn, I'll go out with you!" :)