Don't get me wrong -- I love my boyfriend of 8 months. He's great to me, we get along, and have a lot in common, and I know he loves me. But things in bed are... well, boring. Even in the beginning he wasn't a sex-all-the-time kind of guy (which is what I'm used to in previous relationships), but now we have sex maybe twice or three times a week. I'm climbing the walls! And I don't *think* it's me, because he doesn't really like porn or watch it unless I ask him to watch it with me, he never masturbates unless one of us is out of town for more than a few days, and he doesn't look at other women (I almost wish he would!) When we climb into bed at night, he usually would rather cuddle or make out, and often says "I'm not in the mood" when I initiate something -- even if he's obviously turned on!Is he just not a very sexual guy? Am I a bad girlfriend for masturbating a lot on my own, and wishing he'd just be a "dude" and chase me around for guy like sex more often? I'm kind of tired of flowers and back rubs ALL the time.And I hope that doesn't sound ungrateful ;)
fire gift might be right, if he doesn't thing he is meeting the expectations then he won't want as much sex. but all guys have different levels of hormones and he just might not be sex crazzed
Guys want to pleasure a women. They feel bad if they don't satisfy a woman. Tell him that you want a guy that is dominant. Tell him what to do during sex to turn you on. Guys don't want sex all the time, it's a bit of work. You give him lots of it, so he's not always wanting it. Maybe when it comes to sex, that's not his style so tell him what you want him to do during sex. I don't think you can change his sex drive. Maybe he's not always wanting to get in girls pants. Maybe he just really likes you and doesn't want to disrespect you by looking at other girls.
As for flowers, you should tell him to stop, tell him that you know he loves you and don't have to keep sending you shit like flowers. He already has you, and if he wants to keep you, just tell him to nail you.
He probably feels like he is respecting you and being a gentleman. I guess you aren't appreciating it. If it's that big of a problem for you, then maybe you should talk it over with him.
what you need to do is find what really turns him on, what drives him crazy. I know for a fact 2 of my friends, and myself as well like to be dominated etc. found this out after a couple relationships where I got bored in bed, eventually dated a goth chick, and she strangled me and I loved it. lol weird :D
Maybe he is more sexual than you might think and doesn't want you thinking less of him for being more sexually interested than you might think, I really only have two suggestions no matter the reasons he's not doing what you'd like; one you could ask him to be more sexual and or why he isn't very sexual; and two you could try reassuring it's ok, in fact you want him to be more sexual. Not all guys are into checking out other females, especially if they think they have a really great one.
You don't sound ungrateful, it could be that he is just uncomfortable with his sexuality. Maybe he was sexually repressed growing up? I like to cuddle but if something gets started I jump on it along with 99.99% of the other guys ALIVE!
in any case no you are not a bad girlfriend if anything you are a dream, but he just doesn't know it.
well hmm. I know I am not a macho guy, and in my last relationship I was the "girlier one" but I always had the highest sex drive. its awesome you masturbate, you need to know what makes YOU feel good.are you in canada ;-)? anyways, maybe there is other stuff on his mind, the mind CAN control the dick, trust me. just do a bit of digging to get to the bottom of it or find someone like me who has an incredible sex drive, you will be a lot happier. sex isn't the be-all and end-all to relationships, but in my opinion, being sexually compatible is HUGE! my relationships ended in part due to this!
heres my point of view.im not a perve or anything but ill be glad to have a girl like u.i thnk ur one of those girls that really actually like sex (not saying the other girls don't ). I agree with the guy below if he doesn't have it with you wen you tell him to den there's a problem and I would start looking 4 another dude. Trust me if he would look at other girls all the time that would be a problem, but i would look at other girls jus to see the reaction on ur face and to get you little bit jealous.lol
Honestly, I'd start looking for someone new that could fulfill your sexual needs. If sex is important to you then you're only doing yourself a disservice by settling for a relationship with someone that's not going to meet your sexual needs. And that goes for everything in relationships--If you're with someone and they're not holding up their end of the relationship where both of you are getting what you need, then it's time to move on. If he's not into sex, but you are, then he'd be better off with a woman that's not sexual, and vice versa for yourself.
From where I'm seated, it sounds like your pretty lucky. But if you want to have sex more often, tell him that you'd like your relationship to be more sexual. So that he will know.
Lol maybe he's gay. Wow that is very strange for a guy to be like that, yeah in a way he's being a woman. He rather cuddle then have sex are you kidding me, who the hell says I am not in the mood right now, he doesn't watch porn with you when you ask him to, and to top it off he doesn't look at other women, no man can resist not looking at other women we are programmed to look at other women. Don't worry though you will soon get fed up with it and either cheat on him or dump him and then you find another guy who likes to have sex, you know a man. It's a dog eat dog world out there and only the strong can survive this game, and well you boyfriend is a wimp girls don't like wimps. That's just how it goes.
Maybe you should talk to him and review the subjects which turns him up.
Do you like him to look at other girls? Have I read correct? Its so strange. Please talk to my girlfriend as I like to look nastily at girls and women but she hates this.
It might be his conditioning, or he just might be one of those guys that doesn't get aroused very often. This is how he is, and chances are it isn't going to change. You'll have to accept it, or have a different boyfriend.
First of all, you are not a bad girlfriend for masturbating. If he's not getting the job done, then he's not getting the job done... Simple as that. And even if he started assuming a more "manly" role and, excuse my crudeness, began to "beat it up" every night, you still shouldn't question your worth and/or success as a girlfriend. Masturbation can be very helpful in discovering what stimulates you and, consequently, what you would like him to do to you in bed. But, I digress.
To get straight to the point, sweetheart, your man is either gay or is terribly insecure about his sexual prowess (or lack thereof) and is clinging desperately to the (false) notion that cuddling and being "sensitive" will mask his erotic shortcomings (no pun intended).
So, where does that leave you? Well, honestly, dear, the ball is in your court. You have to decide what you are willing to accept. You may conclude that a marginal sex life is something you could learn to live with. However, keep in mind, most marriages/relationships end over (a) money, (b) sex, or (c) an unfortunate combination of both. It may appear slightly inappropriate to mention it, but let's be honest -- sex is important!
I would recommend politely asking him about this. Remember, communication is key in any relationship and you at least owe him the courtesy of telling him what is bothering you. If he tries to change, roll with it for a while and test the waters. Otherwise, throw him the deuces and leave. And quite frankly, I think he is exhibiting gay tendencies so I wouldn't wait long before making that decision.
Ya, really, they complain when you want it all the time. Then they complain when you don't want it all the time? They truly make absolutely no sense at all. It seems like women just want something to complain about? If they don't they'll try to find something to complain about, because they aren't happy unless they have something/someone to complain about. I don't get why they insist on living their lives being upset either? - 3 days ago
(Age:18 to 24)
When: A month ago
