Is it possible to maybe turn a friends with benefits relationship into an actual relationship.?
I've had other FWB's before and had absolutely no emotional commitment to them whatsoever.
But this new guy, I seem to really like, and before we started messing around, he'd ask me if I wanted to go to dinner or to a movie or just ya know, come over and hang out. But now that we've already messed around, it's like that's all he wants. There is no going out or anything. It's just strictly sex.
I guess he was just trying to get me to go out, so that it would be easier to get in my pants? But then again he had already known about my other relationships with guys. So I don't really know why he'd make that big of an effort.
Point is!. How would I go about telling him that I'm tired of the FWB and that I want more. Than just sex.
Well, if I was the guy, I'd like her to tell me that she's been comfortable with the way things have been, and that she'd like to try an experiment, to see if it would work ( guys like experiments ).
Then you can tell him that the experiment is taking it further to boyfriend/girlfriend. Then see how he reacts.
But be prepared ahead of time for him to not want to try it. After all, he's been happy with it being FWB. ;-)
I've been in the same situation for more than 5 years now. And I'm not really sure if I'm the best person to give the right answer to you. LOL. But here are my thoughts on it. I believe you should have 'the talk' with him and tell him what you really want this early in the relationship. And if he doesn't want the same thing. Then from there you decide. Do you like this guy so much that you're willing to wait until he can commit. The consequences on this one are you're going to get too emotionally involved and being hurt is inevitable and this guy may never commit to you at all :(
Coming from someone who's in this FWB for a looong time already, trust me, it's not something you want to be hooked into. I've been trying to get out of it myself but my emotions always gets in the way. If I had been honest and lay my cards upfront to my FWB partner, I don't think I would be in this predicament right now.
Anyway,borrowing the words everyone always tell me. If this guy doesn't want to commit with you then go find someone else who can commit himself to you 100% because you are a nice person and you deserve to be treated nicely and respected highly. (Of course for me it's easier said than done LOL)
So bottom line is communication. Talk to this guy and tell him what you mentioned here. That you are tired of FWB and now you wanted an emotional relationship and that you feel that he is the right man to start it with. And asked him how does he feel about turning what you both have right now into the next level like getting to know each other more than physically and maybe trying to connect more emotionally. And then tell him you wanted to spend time with him like before i.e. Going to dinner or to a movie, etc.
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(Age:30 to 35)
When: 8 months ago
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