I'm a bit of a medical mystery, and part of it is that sex has always been painful for me, despite many investigations and treatment attempts. This always seems to come up as a show-stopper for guys. Like, if we can't have actual intercourse, they don't want to bother with anything. I'm not a prude (although anal is pushing it a bit too far, just because I'm touchy about my butt), and I actually enjoy giving blow jobs (provided they don't last all night).
Why is it so often intercourse or nothing? Especially once I explain that it's got nothing to do with me not liking them, or not wanting it, or anything. I'm still trying different treatments and such, trying to figure this out. But guys never seem to be willing to work with me on this. Even the ones that are willing to do other things to an extent make it clear that they are pretty disgruntled about the lack of sex, like I don't already feel bad enough about it as it is. How do I deal with this?
These guys that have answered you already have given you some very good things to think about. I just want to stress that Guys that are in their late teens though there mid twenties are at there sexual Prime. Thats when guys are able to perform the past and when they want it the most. as guys get older their stamina drops and they mature some and realize that there is more to a relationship then the sex. that They need as well as women need some if not a lot of emotional love and support as well. As the guys you date get older they will start to realize this as well like I have and love you for who YOU are and not just what you can do for them in the bedroom.
A lot of it has to do with the age range of the guys you're seeing. When guys are really young they are pretty much self-centered and have egos a mile wide. Believe it or not, some guys don't consider blow jobs sex. They want to penetrate you as a conquest of sorts, especially when they learn other guys have failed at this. To be the first one to "have you" would be a stroke to their egos.
I'd suggest raising the age of the guys you date up a few notches and look for a more experienced lover. One that isn't involved with himself so much as wanting to give you pleasure. Yes, they are out there.
Well, unfortunately for you, in our society most guys who establish a relationship with a woman, take that as something that is a given eventuality. You will have to keep looking for a man who is sensitive to your problems, and is willing to compensate. I'm sure that these sort of guys are out there, you just have to find one,and convince him to stay with you. If a guy loves you, it shouldn't be a deal breaker, unless he is determined about having children. You sound like a nice girl who is worthwhile being with, so don't give up! I'm sure there is someone for you. Have you tried the online dating scene? At least you could put all of this out there, and screen guys better. Just an option.
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Describe your ideal first date; Where do you go? What do you wear? How does the date end?
My ideal for a first date would be hanging out at the mall with a group of people just so that I could get to know him with people around before I do with just him and I. I like it ending with a hug and maybe a kiss. It depends on if I am really into him or not! I would wear something really cute or sexy.
Afterwards..what will your date know about you?
He would know almost anything that he wants to know.
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