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Why Can't I Make Him Cum?

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Anonymous User (Age:25 to 29)     When: 6 months ago
Views: 590     Category: Sexuality

Sometimes We Have Sex For Hours And Still He Won't Cum. I End Up Giving Up Because I Start To Take It Personally Like Somethings Wrong With Me . I Am In My Twenties , Never Had Kids , Already Know About The Squeeze Technique , Where You Contract Your Muscles , Only Been With Like Eight Guys Ever . He Is Average In Size . Also Masturbates A lot . I'm Worried That I Feel To Loose Inside There . But It Just Doesn't Make Sense Why I Would Be . Is There Anything I Can Do . I Use To Be Able To Make Previous Boyfriend Cum Way Quick .


Update: Do You Feel Like You Have To Work Harder To Achieve An Orgasm If The Girl Is Not Tight ? Won't That Kinda Make You Not Look Forward To It As Much As You Would If It Was Teen Age Tight ?    6 months ago

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    From Guys  
24
From Girls  
12
 

Best Answer

jojowriter
392  
jojowriter      When: 5 months ago
if he is masturbating, that will not give him the ability to cum. his sensation scale is dulled. Tell him to stop pleasuring himself so that you can do it for him more often. if he rather masturbate than be with you, then you guys need to talk about that and may want to think about where you are really heading with this relationship. But for now, just focus on pleasuring yourself with him and cumming yourself, then when you feel satisfied, stop and don't worry about making him cum.. focus more on your needs rather than needing to please others.. there might be something here that you need to work on - emotionally.. but you gotta ask yourself that , no one knows that but you.
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What Guys Said

dreamer010999
594  
dreamer010999      When: 26 days ago
Do you know if he had this problem before? My guess is that he just has this problem for some reason or another, and it may have nothing to do with you.
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nymphoman
950  
nymphoman      When: A month ago
Can be simply the position, he may have issues with sensation or he may have a psychological reason.
I don't want you to take offense to this but maybe he just can't get off on you alone, maybe try putting some porn on as maybe he finds sex a bit of a hassle.
Ask him to be blunt honest with you if there is a problem, you must promise to not take offense, it may upset you but you will do whatever you can to fix the problem.

Sometimes you just need to find the right position for him, sometimes it will be a position that only works for him but maybe not you.

If indeed it is that you just aren't tight enough then usually a good position will see to that or you can get treatment for it,
Before treatment make sure you try a lot of Kegel exercises (google "Kegel exercises" for more) and if you have done that rigourously and it's still failing to tighten enough then talk to your doctor as there may be trouble with your muscles that require a series of appointments at hospital whereby an electric current is applied to the muscles to help tighten them (sounds scarier than it actually is), this usually works wonders.

Remember before you go to the doctor make sure the problem is with you first otherwise you both may need to speak to the doctor on what can be done to help him reach climax.
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PanamaFlyBoy
115  
PanamaFlyBoy      When: A month ago
man I jerk off a lot and I have no problem having sex with my girlfriend she does the right tricks and I come
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Louie18
51  
Louie18      When: A month ago
i jack off a lot and then I can't keep it up during sex soo I made her jerk it off for me... uhhmm but usually I'm high or drunk idk
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armygreen53
143  
armygreen53      When: A month ago
I have no idea what could be wrong with this guy. He must be masturbating a lot in his personal time or having too much sex. Give the sex a little break and then make him work for getting in your pants. Tease him quite a bit and then give it to him after he has been aroused for awhile. I would say more foreplay before sex would do it.
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ekspain
1629  
ekspain      When: 2 months ago
its NOT that big a deal .

Cumming is over rated. Its that dis satisfaction that will lead to caress and love, never ending.

so don't worry so much.
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Troutbum
131  
Troutbum      When: 2 months ago
8 isn't bad it's like 1 a year over 8yrs. Try new things. It's not really how tight or lose you are. But first ask him why he doesn't
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Coolest1
58  
Coolest1      When: 2 months ago
You've been with 8 guys in your early twenties... doesn't help. He masturbates a lot which probably includes before he was with you that same day... a problem. He may have a bad diet not eating properly before sex... a possible problem. You may be not doing enough advance work... Some guys especially heavy masturbaters need to be turned on visceraly, because when they're watching porn they're wiring has been wound up in such a way where they have like sexual A.D.D unless a girls hits that spot for them they have to work harder to be turned on. For guys like that a lot of what makes them orgasm isn't necessarily your physical touch its how stimulated they are mentally by you..basically you have to play with them more.

A couple of suggestions...

1. If you think he masturbated earlier in the day try having sex right after he eats something.
2. Try early morning sex after he's slept for a good amount of time. Always great for me.
3. let him start the sexual interaction when he's ready.
4. he's gotta cut down on the masturbating that will kill your relationship.
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Question Asker Im 29yrs old - 2 months ago

Feelinfrisky
203  
Feelinfrisky      When: 2 months ago
Sounds very much like the problem is with him. Try something different. Do you suck him before sex? Suck him, act really slutty. Shock him with how slutty you can be. Have sex in a different place. It doesn't have to be in bed. Do it in the daytime without covering. Leave your curtains open etc. etc. If he doesn't come faster, then maybe you should ask him why.
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Jon090
378  
Jon090      When: 2 months ago
try getting to him before he masturbates
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NiceGuy007
984  
NiceGuy007      When: 3 months ago
Only 8, holy.
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Dela1111
5669  
Dela1111      When: 3 months ago
It kinda does make sense that you're loose inside since you have been with 8 guys, not sure who told you that was a small number, but he's probably just getting tired of you.
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chemical Well it's not a large number... - 3 months ago
Answerer You're joking right? - 3 months ago
blondegirl56 8 is a good sized number, but I have heard of higher and then there are ones who are really bad. - 3 months ago
Answerer As long as the fact some girls are deep in the double digits makes you feel better, lol. 8 isn't a good sized number no matter how you look at it. - 3 months ago
Question Asker Im 29 years old - 2 months ago
restless Why does people still have that standard that a female should have only slept with 2 or 3 men in her life. Women are sexual beings too.Men Jack off to porn and we know how many men they have been with so I don't get it. If she has been with guys that been average size or small lets say how can she be loose. - A month ago
Answerer ONLY slept with 2 or 3 guys? Your standards are really pathetic. - A month ago
pearl1979 It doesn't matter how guys she has been with. Anyways you are so judgmental. That wouldn't make her loose. Childbirth would. - 22 days ago
Answerer Oh no you're absolutely right, a series of 6 or more penises would definitely not make her loose... So what do you girls think that it doesn't matter how many guys you have sex with, you'll still be as tight as you were for the first guy? That's just a complete asinine thought process and utterly incorrect. - 22 days ago

 
Anonymous User
N/A  
Anonymous User      When: 3 months ago
has he turned gay?
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bcrombie
385  
bcrombie      When: 4 months ago
There can be TONS of reasons, and the LEAST likely one is you.

He may be stressed out about something outside or inside of the relationship, fear of pregnancy: I can guarantee you, though, that it is something going on inside of his head that is 'holding it in' ;)

The best thing to do, if it is as important to you as it seems, is to talk to him about it. Make sure he is comfortable with the entire situation, work through it TOGETHER. If there is one other thing I can recommend it is not to get frustrated if he doesn't have an answer - there is a good chance he didn't consider what the issue is.

Best,

Brian
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Kanqaz Or maybe the MOST likely reason is her. :) - 3 months ago

 
Anonymous User
N/A  
Anonymous User      When: 4 months ago
some guys just last a long time. first time I ever had sex I lasted 2 hours (and I didn't masturbate much) and my girlfriend was almost gonna cry cause she thought I wasn't attracted to her. we were both virgins at the time and I guess she had heard from her friends that girls last longer than guys and that it will probably only last 20 min or less. some guys can just last and its not you fault. just ask him what he likes, but also try and get him to masturbate less often.

all I can do is suggest you try doing other things before you actually have sex, make out for a while, then kiss him all over his neck to start, rub his crotch while your kissing him, as soon as he gets hard reach into his pants and start giving him a hand job, after a while start taking off your own cloths, after each piece comes off go back to the handjob for a little while just to keep him erect, when ur naked rub yourself as you give him a hand job (this will really turn him on) at this point he will probably be trying to take off his cloths...let him, but keep your hand on his crotch and keep it going. when your both naked go down on him use you hand and mouth, focusing your mouth on the head and moving your hand nice and quick, then after a while start having sex. shouldn't take him to long after that.
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armygreen53 Alright I want to pull the bull card no man last 2 hours there first time. - A month ago
Answerer I guess I'm just not normal - A month ago

 
Anonymous User
N/A  
Anonymous User      When: 4 months ago
he may have delayed ejaculation, which is an actual medical condition. and the really there is no set cure for it... but one thing you could do (its not pretty but it may work) is have him masturbate with you there and then when he is about to come you start working on him.

(you may have to work on the timing, but eventually it may work)
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Anonymous User
N/A  
Anonymous User      When: 4 months ago
If a girl is not tight , it makes it harder for me to come , and sex is not as much fun...

I can make my Girlfriend come 3 times in 20 mins and I love to do it - but it really upsets her that she cannot make me come quickly and could be going at it a while..

Hey ... it's blunt but honest

Stal
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BlueGender
843  
BlueGender      When: 4 months ago
Sorry but you're loose. This happened with an ex-girlfriend of mine. The only reason I had sex with her was as a courtesy, and I did not enjoy it. For a solution you might try some Kegel exercises. What are they? Simple: next time you pee, stop it. Then start it. Then stop it. Do this every time nature calls and in a short while it will feel like you've only had sex with six guys, still quite a few but hey you're on the way there! If you were a guy we'd probably call you 'Quagmeyer' and not want to drink after you.
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Question Asker Huh?" not want to drink after me?" uh..what does that mean?. - 4 months ago
blondegirl56 I'm shocked guys are saying that 6 or 8 is a high number. I knew guys in high school who slept with more girls than that before they turned 18. - 3 months ago
pearl1979 I am shocked as well. - 22 days ago

bjdude
66  
bjdude      When: 5 months ago
try giving him a blowjob. he'll come if he's not gay.
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DarkPreD
6  
DarkPreD      When: 5 months ago
maby he's circumcised like me I don it like 3 hours and still not cummed .. I feel like a freaking virgin !
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Kanqaz Circumcision doesn't change it that much. Only by a few minutes SOMETIMES, so that's obviously not it. - 3 months ago

jacquesvol
8943  
jacquesvol      When: 6 months ago
I looked a bit more and this link could help you understand: retarded ejaculation link
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Answerer You'll have a lot to read there - but delving deeper in the site it turns out to be commercial :-P and I CAN'T CONDONE THAT!!
Take the information provided but don't pay!! - 6 months ago

Littletad
14615  
Littletad      When: 6 months ago
I agree with jacquesvol. There has to be some sort of pill he's taking or medicine. I've even heard of some natural viagra that some men can take. It makes them last for a few hours more.
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jacquesvol I was rather thinking along the line of a numbing drug (cannabis) or medicine (anti-depressants, sleeping pills,anti-epileptics), alcohol and/or an (acquired) automatism which blocks his orgasm, primary develloped to increase the girl's pleasure or to replace proper birth control and which has become a reflex. (fr the carezza links I gave)This would have been more easy to develop if he masturbates frequently. I've been looking on the www but there's not much on male anorgasmia at first view:( - 6 months ago
jacquesvol Look under "retarded ejaculation" too. - 6 months ago

jacquesvol
8943  
jacquesvol      When: 6 months ago
could he be taking some medicine (or drug?)
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Answerer If you look around among the questions here, you'll discover that it happens to others too.
He can have been afraid of coming to early or to ejaculate in you (or his ex!) -having sex without proper birth control and counting on retracting in time- and develloped a reflex blocking his own orgasm (about the inverse of a premature ejaculation)
He has a problem there but in any case you're not at fault. - 6 months ago
Answerer A solution (not a cure) is to masturbate him or let him masturbate after your orgasm.
There is a joke about it: "he's like Santa Claus, he only comes once a year"
Read this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coitus_reservatus a long article but you (and your boyfriend )might want to read it. Google for "carezza" - 6 months ago
Answerer He might be doing this (without being aware of it):
http://www.sex-lexis.com/Sex-Dictionary/carezza - 6 months ago
Answerer I found some percentages on the link I gave:
How common is delayed ejaculation?
Estimates vary widely. Masters and Johnson found 17 cases out of 448 they assessed over 11 years - 3.7%
In 2003 a study of men attending GPs in London reported a rate of 11%.
A representative sample of American men aged between 18 and 59 years discovered that 7.8% of men reported delayed ejaculation for at least one month over the previous year. A lower proportion of 2.9% had the problem for at least six months.. - 6 months ago
Answerer Continued
A lower proportion of 2.9% had the problem for at least six months in the previous year.

My conclusion: 2.9 % to 11 % means that it happens to between 1 man in 10 and 1 man in 30: not really rare thus. - 6 months ago
Question Asker NOPE.HE DOESN'T TAKE ANY SORT OF PILLS OR MEDICATION.HE SMOKES SPEED THOUGH.
- 4 months ago
Answerer Uses speed, and you think that's not a drug? SPEED IS A DRUG.
Get him of it, back to normal. - 4 months ago

 
Anonymous User
N/A  
Anonymous User      When: 6 months ago
Do more foreplay, and try different positions.
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What Girls Said

pearl1979
3493  
pearl1979      When: 22 days ago
Its not you. Its him. It could be drugs, drinking or like a lot people said he masturbates too frequently. Change positions, take longer in foreplay. I have had two kids and my husband can still come in a few minutes.
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Teddyluver
475  
Teddyluver      When: 26 days ago
maybe its because he masturbates too much.
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Roophio
37  
Roophio      When: A month ago
Some guys are tough girl. And that's the answer to your question. I've had guys come quickly and some take time. Ask him how he gets himself off and maybe he can show you some techniques. If you're able to suck him off, maybe that's the trick right there. As for being loose...um, you can't help it. Some are tight and some aren't. But ya, ask him what he does to get himself off and see whether he can give you some pointers as to how to help him come for you.
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lalalad4
263  
lalalad4      When: 2 months ago
all I know is that the less he masturbates, the easier it will be to make him come.
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enlightenment
1602  
enlightenment      When: 2 months ago
blow him in between? helps...
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Anonymous User
N/A  
Anonymous User      When: 3 months ago
Because you have horrible typing skills, that's why.
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Question Asker Oh yeah? well if your gonna talk $hIt , at least have the balls to say who you are. - 3 months ago

chemical
17  
chemical      When: 3 months ago
Mix it up a little. Try some different positions, talk dirty to him, etc. Ask him what he likes, what he'd like to try, etc.
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girlygirl2
973  
girlygirl2      When: 4 months ago
idk my I've never came b4. never heard of a guy not cumming tho=[
is he turned on?
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julezz30
0  
julezz30      When: 5 months ago
When me and my boyfriend first started having sex he couldn't come either, I was his first and first he found it a little bit painful but eventually it turned out to be psychological, so it might be a mindset of your man.
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Akasha
0  
Akasha      When: 6 months ago
I have a similar problem with my BF. In his case, I think it actually relates to a medical condition. I used to think it was just me too, but I came to realize it was not my problem. Never once in the past did I have trouble making another cum. Talking to him about it should put your mind at ease. There are several reasons this can happen, the least likely is you. If he is an honest person and values your relationship, then he will let you know what's going on. Some guys just have a whole lot of stamina.
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Anonymous User
N/A  
Anonymous User      When: 6 months ago
try to make him stop masturbating and try to change things up with him like role playing.
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mochamix
2132  
mochamix      When: 6 months ago
well a guy who masturbates a lot starts to lose the excitement while having the actual sex

i would suggest talking to him about it
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hardboy Umm, no. Masturbation is one outlet for sexual release, but intercourse is different, not better. Some things excite a guy when he's spanking off, while other things work on him during foreplay and intercourse. - 5 months ago
 
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