My boyfriend doesn't want to try for my Orgasm?

Question

I'm 19 years old and have been with my boyfriend for over a year(he's 21).Well he's the first guy I've ever been with sexually,I'm not his first though.When we have sex,we usually stops before it even starts feeling good for me,and we stop after he cums,and I go down on him all of the time,and give him handjobs,but he won't go down on me or even finger me.And I don't fake it,I've told him,not in a mean way though.Well yesterday I asked if he would go down on me,i wax,and am very clean down there,but he said no.And then I told him that I would like to experience an orgasm,and he said that it takes too long for women to orgasm and he doesn't want to have to hold off for me or wait for me that long,and that it hurts a guys jaw to go down on a girl because it takes so long.What should I do?It's sort of making me frustrated,and I know it isn't his job or responsibility to make me orgasm,but even when I try during sex,he says it's a turnoff for a girl to touch herself.And advice?

rachiee · Accepted Answer

Your boyfriend sounds like a jerk. He's just focused on his pleasure and not yours. I suggest you dump him and find a guy who cares about you and is willing to make you happy and satisfied, but I'm sure that's easier said than done especially if you care about him. But you need to tell him that its not fair to you. I would hold off on sex and doing anything sexually to him until he's willing to work out his part of the deal. Just like how a relationship takes two people, so does sex. I've never heard a guy say that his jaw hurts from going down, but I think many girls can justify how much our jaws hurt to go down on a guy and that's not even including how boring it gets. And yeah it is his job to make you have an orgasm. He's your boyfriend, if he doesn't want to take on that job then he shouldn't be waiting to get pleasure from you. Honestly it sounds like you're in an abusive relationship and need to get out quick. It sounds like he's making you feel like you're a less deserving person than you really are. You deserve a guy who cares and is willing to spend hours until you are satisfied.

peace-love-couture · Accepted Answer

I've never had sex,but even I can tell you,that he is selfish,and is only thinking of himself.I'm a virgin,but even I know sex is about pleasuring both people,and each partner wanting to please the other.It is his job,it seems like you're trying to please him,but he won't even give it a second thought to please you.Explain how this make you feel,and explain it clearly,and if he is still unwilling to compromise,then dump him and find someone who will please you and try to make you satisfied

dragonfli786351 · Accepted Answer

the other people are right, he is being very selfish, and is in it for his own pleasure. I would first stop being so willing to give him a bj or handjob. second I would tell him that you aren't going to keep pleasuring him if he won't reciprocate, and third it DOESN'T take that long if he's doing the right things. Sex should feel good for both of you not just him, if it doesn't you might as well do it yourself.

ArtistBboy · Accepted Answer

WAAAAATTT -- Your man is weird!

1. I love going down on women / fingering them (their orgasm face is hella pleasing haha)

2. I aim for my lady to be pleased, not myself -- that would be boring as hell

Sounds like you need a man that satisfies you, not himself ... This dude is like a dee-de-deee brick, he doesn't satisfy you or even try? Wdf haha... I get much more pleasure when my girls break loose and get freaky after hitting the big-o.

Just my opinion though. =)

~ArtistBBoy

itachix · Accepted Answer

have to agree with everyone he is selfish.  wheres the fun in him only getting off my whole reason to have sex is to pleasure her and I get off on her getting off if I wanted what he wanted I would just beat the thing myself.

sillypurzah · Answer

he sounds like a complete ass. and your playing into it. does he treat you like this outside the bedroom (and by that, I mean put his wishes and needs before your)? Because if he doesn't now, I'll bet he'll start.

If he doesn't WANT to give you as much attention and love as you give him, he's not worth the effort.

only-lonely-me · Answer

First off this guy is in this for his own pleasure & obviously could care less about you.

I would seriously reevaluate your relationship. Things will only get worse.

Personally I don't care how long it takes for a girl to orgasm. I would like her to have a few before I get mine

It IS I REPEAT it IS his job to make you orgasm! I love it when a girl touches herself. What is the point in YOU having sex if it is not fulfilling for you?

akcasino · Answer

a guy should be able to know that his woman is having orgasms. if he doesn't tell him.

pcolony · Answer

holy cow he's extremely selfish, break up with him, he doesn't care about you and he has no shame in telling you so.

jacquesvol · Answer

An egoist. You can get better.

Anonymous · Answer

It is his practical duty in a committed relationship to satisfy his partner sexually as it is vice versa for "every human being on the planet" but yea some guys do have complex's from childhood that they never grew out of. So in that case I'll give you the test to answer it for yourself
A) he's not that into you
B) he's got a complex of some sort
C) he doesn't know how
D) he may have some sort of theological inhibition i. e. religion, bro code, or he's actually gay

Anonymous · Answer

He sounds extremely selfish. My advice would be to get rid of him.

My boyfriend doesn't want to try for my Orgasm?

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