My husband almost always wants me on top in bed. I really prefer to have the man be in charge more often and to try different positions. I have told him this and tried to direct him to other positions in bed to no avail. He also doesn't like to talk about sex. If I try to ask him what things he likes he says "I don't know". He also seems to have a very low sex drive compared to me. I know he is not gay and at one point he had problems with pornography...he told me this was why we weren't having sex more often (at that time). Once, when we were still newlyweds, I dressed up all sexy for him and when he got home he just wanted to go to bed...said he had a headache. Later he admitted that he had been looking at porn before that and felt guilty. It has gotten somewhat better, but I am still feeling like I don't get enough. I am not unattractive...other men are obviously attracted to me. I am just so confused as to why he is like this. I want him to pursue me and desire me more and be more of a man in bed. What can I do?
I don't suggest watching porn together . Approach him with something he wouldn't expect . One night when he is relaxing in bed, climb in and tell him you are going to tie him up and have your way with him . As long as he only slightly resists, then you know you might be on to something .
Also, think about changing his diet a little to give him more energy . More breads, fruits, and vegetables .
See, I don't get this. I am 35, and although I have noticed a little bit of an "ease off" of my sex drive, I still want to "go" 4 or 5 times a week, and my wife? She gets it from behind almost at least half of the time. I love to "take hold of her", if you know what I mean. Once in a long while, I'll ask her for the reverse-cowgirl, but by-and-large, I like to be on top.
There is nothing sexier, than teaching a girl that although you could be rough, you won't be. Because a true gentleman takes a hold of his wife firmly, yet gently, and lets her know he belongs to her, that he will not hurt her EVER.
This girl, she cried in my arms once, because I wouldn't sleep with her because she was drunk. She insisted I "get" something for "dealing with her" that night. I told her that her company was enough, which was true. That's sexy.
That's a good question. Like I said, I don't "get" his behavior. One thing you might want to try is more physical play (like wrestling). Tell him you need a spanking, most guys can't resist this. Try talking dirty, this tends to get the juices going - 9 months ago
You could try watching porn TOGETHER. That way when he gets all worked up form the porn, you will be there to reap the benefits. Throw in the porn, put your lingeries and stilettos on, and then sit back and enjoy the ride.
Atleast it seems that he is open with you. I have a opposite problem the sex is outstanding. But the basic relationship needs work. It sounds like he wants you to be consistently spontaneous and creative. Also dominated. Explore this area if you are open to it and he might be more receptive. I watch porn because its interesting and arousing. For some people its fore play. Try jumping his bones in an unexpected place. Surprising him with something new. Its most likely that he is bored and dosen't want to hurt your feelings.
(Age:30 to 35)
When: 9 months ago
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