Is PMS Real?

PMS is real. For some women, the symptoms are mild, but for others, the symptoms can be physically and emotionally traumatic. PMS is classified both as a medical condition and a mental health condition. PMS has certain medical symptoms such as fluctuating levels of the hormone estrogen, and the imbalance of the brain chemical (called "neurotransmitters") serotonin. This chemical governs our emotions, our appetite and our sleep, among other things. Other physical symptoms may include abdominal pain upon ovulation and intense, incapacitating migraine headaches right before or during our periods, and insomnia. These symptoms can be medically treated safely and effectively, depending upon the frequency and severity.

In addition to those pesky physical symptoms, during the week before our menstrual period, many women experience depression; anxiety and mood instability are all components of depression. Again, the culprit is serotonin and estrogen levels. You won't have any problem noticing when we're having PMS depression symptoms; we can be cranky, easily irritated, overly emotional, withdrawn, and apathetic about things we normally like such as exercise, going out on the town, or just spending some "snuggle" time with you. Women who have severe PMS can adore you one minute, and hate your guts the very next! Don't worry, it's not about you. It's about our body chemistry.

Once we realize how badly we've acted, we should apologize and explain why we just clawed your eyes out. PMS does not excuse or rationalize annoying, hurtful behavior, but it does explain such behavior. Thus, women who are pre-menstrual must understand their physical and emotional symptoms so we can recognize them when we experience them; we should take extra precautions not to overwhelm our partner with our PMS drama.

Men, on the other hand, also need to recognize their partner's symptoms as being "that time of the month," and try very hard to be patient and to remember that it's just not about you! But even knowing this doesn't keep your feelings from being hurt when she launches into a tirade about every thing you've done wrong from the beginning of the world until that very moment. Hateful things once said, can't be unsaid. It would serve us well, men and women both, to know what you both are dealing with and conduct ourselves with dignity.

Women who have only mild PMS symptoms such as bloating, feeling tired, and just a bit on the cranky side generally don't need medical and/or mental health assistance. The symptoms last a couple of days until their period begins, and that's it. No big deal. However, very severe symptoms of PMS should be taken quite seriously. If our hormone levels are wildly out of control, gynecologists usually recommend that women with these severe symptoms use birth control pills; the hormones in the pills keep us at "steady state" instead of all over the map. Or all over the ceiling. Or clawing your face off!

Believe it on very rare occasions, women have killed their partners and even their children in the hysteria of PMS rage and been found not guilty due to temporary insanity. While this may be a subject of eternal debate among prosecutors, defense attorneys and juries, there's no denying the fact that severe cases of PMS can have very serious, even deadly, complications. Women may become at serious risk for suicide during the pre-menstrual days. This is nothing to be taken lightly, despite all the jokes about PMS.

When it gets this bad, it's no laughing matter. In addition to birth control pills (whether you need them or not) to keep your hormones at a steady state, a mental health professional will almost always recommend that women with severe symptoms take an anti-depressant medication not only right before their period, but every day. Why? Because the new class of anti-depressants are extremely safe and effective for mood stabilization all day, every day. This type of anti-depressant specifically targets the neurotransmitter, serotonin.

Now you know, gentlemen: PMS is very real. The very best thing you can do for your partner if she has serious physical and mental health symptoms is to insist that she see her doctor right away. Neither of you have to live like this. Besides, if you think PMS is challenging, wait until she hits menopause!