Are shy guys really "hard to get"?

so there's this guy (named R) in a club I'm in at my college. he's a sports journalist and seems like a nice, well spoken guy, just seems to be a bit quiet. we introduced ourselves at the club meeting and talked some on fb about majors and why we want to write, but hadn't really seen him since I stopped going to the meetings because of work. well I ran into him right before Thanksgiving at a school function and he immediately recognized me and I said hello back. I told my roommate I thought are was cute, and behind my back, my roommate went up to are and asked if he thought I was cute, are said yes, if he was interested, are said yes, and if he had a girlfriend, and are said no. my roommate gave him my phone number and asked are if he was actually going to give me a call or a text, and are said yes, he'd definitely text me. I didn't hear from him until Thanksgiving when I got a random text from a number I didn't know and it was are telling me happy thanskgiving and introducing himself. I said thanks and wished him well too, but haven't really talked since. I'm kinda shy too, but I kind of would like to get to know him... but I feel like not enough is there to try anything. what should I do?


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    He probably feels the same way you do. The only way to deal with a shy person is to take the initiative, because the shy person won't; that's the definition of being shy.

    When you've got TWO shy people, like him and you, then you have an even bigger problem, because there's no one who is naturally going to take the initiative. Very often, two shy people who like each other never get together, because neither one will make enough of a *sustained* effort to get past that initial awkward stage where neither believes that someone else actually likes them.

    Your roommate was playing wingman and got the ice broken for the both of you, but you both failed to keep things rolling. If you want this to have any chance of working, YOU are going to have to start initiating, and soothing HIS fears, so that he believes that you are actually interested in him. Once he is convinced, he will probably take over from there, as he gets more comfortable with you, but you've GOT to get some momentum going, and he's clearly too shy to do that himself, even though it sounds like he wants it as much as you do.

  • pursue him...being a shy guy myself it is an incredibly daunting task pursuing a girl (not that you should feel undue pressure) but I absolutely loved it when a girl had the cajones to reach out to me. They already scored points in my book

    That being said you shouldn't do anything you are too uncomfortable doing and it can't be a one way street. sometimes writing/creative guys (myself being both) get wrapped up in our thoughts and it almost paralysizes us to act. But if you can get him out of his shell you'll probably find that behind the shyness is a normal outgoing guy...if you can crack his shy exterior.

  • In college I always thought it was weird to have a third party try to set my up with anyone. It's just an extra person involved in my business. The roommate may have weirded him out.

  • shy guys tend to act as if they are special in fact they are like all guys but spineless cause of the lack of confidence which makes them shy in the first place

    • Just because someone is shy does not mean they lack confidence.

  • nope, just hard to reach (only read the title)

  • "I didn't hear from him until Thanksgiving when I got a random text from a number I didn't know and it was are telling me happy thanskgiving and introducing himself. I said thanks and wished him well too, but haven't really talked since. I'm kinda shy too, but I kind of would like to get to know him... but I feel like not enough is there to try anything. what should I do?"

    WHAT?! He contacted you to try and reach out to you but you never got back to him!

    YOU are the one who is hard to get, not him! The ball is in your court now!

    You already know he likes you and is single. There is no reason for you to not ask him to see a movie or get food with you or go bowling with some mutual friends.

    In all honesty, HE PROBABLY THINKS YOU LOST INTEREST IN HIM. I certainly would feel that way if I reached out to a girl and she seemed like she never wanted to talk with me again.

    • WHAT ARE YOU STILL WAITING FOR?! Get on that phone and ask him to go see a movie or something!

      The hard part is over! You both know you like each other, right?! If I knew a girl who had interest in me suddenly stopped talking with me I would be in agony over it. I would think she suddenly found a boyfriend and didn't care about me anymore!

  • Not hard to get at all if the girl puts in the effort.

  • I was pretty shy before the two Filipina sisters came on to me. After that experience, I was no longer shy ever.

    And once I got the idea (they had to explain it to me carefully, I was so surprised), I wasn't shy about fulfilling their request.

  • Right now I am kind of soft and easy to get so maybe?

  • Never hurts to try...cannot categorize shy guys...some are easily reachable...and some are not...):

  • Is his name 'R' or 'Are'?

    Lol jk, but no, most shy guys would prefer that you initiate it and make a move first lol

  • I'm a shy guy , I don't think so where hard to get , us as shy guys think that it's hard to get a girl , beacuse were scared to make the move first or approch a girl .

  • If you make the approach, shy people are the easiest.

  • If you like the guy, then text him, that's the biggest problem with women today is they're usually shy when it comes to initiating conversation with someone they're interested in. I'm an attractive guy and I don't normally approach women, if they're interested, they will initiate on me, and usually I'll play ball and see where it goes. Its a huge turn-on when a woman isn't shy about what she wants. Plus most of the time its harder for guys to initiate on woman because they've been conditioned to reject most idiots that try to hit on them.. But say something to get it going, It can be anything, joke about how you know him, or just be straight up with him and say hey I was going out to "this place" and was seeing if ya wanted to come with and hang out for a bit. Show him your interested in getting to know him..

  • well, they aren't "hard to get" so much as careful about who they let into their world.. and usually they are super sweet.

    truth is though, if he likes you but is shy then you should just go for the friendly /non awkward/ approach.. which would be just to hang out and do something casual, not like a pressured date where you will both feel wierd.. why don't you start texting and just make some simple convo to find out something you can do together? you both have common interests if you start asking you'll find out what they are.

  • shy guys are hard to get because they don't have the confidence to make a move which is part of why they're shy.

  • He might be incredibly nervous and he gets scared when he comes into contact with you. That's my two cents...

    Usually the shy guys don't play "hard to get". They usually get nervous... nervous to the point where they're afraid to talk to you out of fear they will do something stupid and embarrass themselves.

    I'm a really shy guy and it's hard for me to talk to girls I like sometimes.

  • I am shy but I wouldn't say I'm hard to get (I'm not easy either lol). I think for me it's more a case of becoming comfortable with a girl and becoming less awkward around her and coming out of my shell and trusting her. That could take a while.

  • I'm pretty shy and I wouldn't say I am hard to get since I love being flirty but I wouldn't just jump into a relationship especially if I was not sure if the girl was into me. He either isn't that into you or he isn't taking the word of another person that you are into him any. To make things happen you need to do things yourself instead of getting others involved.

  • Text him and set up a date.

  • Shy guys are desperate to love someone too!

    It just takes more work to build the trust and relationship. He waited until he had a good excuse to text you. We as a breed don't text or phone unless we have a purpose for doing so . If you don't have a good reason it's nearly impossible to do.

    I bet he wants to talk to you so help him out and initiate and sustain some conversation. It will be slow and somewhat painstaking at first but will get easier as be starts to open up to you. Try and be much more overt in letting him know you are interested. Depending on how shy he is (he sounds quite bad!) it might take anything up to a confession of your undying love for him to convince him to ask you out - so if you think you need to, take the lead - he will be greatful!

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