Is it true: once a liar always a liar?

[TiffanyRose]

I have been dating this guy for almost a year and known him for two years. the things is when I started dating him I didn't know he was a liar. what do I do? he lies about talking to his ex's and lies about who he calls and who he hangs out with. I finally got him to admit he is a liar. I thought he was getting better than I found out he lied about two more things. I love him a lot but I don't know if I can handle being lied to anymore. he says he won't but all I sit and think about is how long will it be until he does it again?

[ZombieChessClub]

Well, lets face facts.

Everyone lies.

Everyone.

The important part is his intentions. Is he lying as 'social lubricant' (for example - make himself look better or to avoid embarrassment or an argument). Or is he lying to cover up wrongdoings? (for example- covering up how late he worked so you don't see the 2 hour gap he spent shagging his ex girlfriend).

If it is the first scenario - let it go. Everyone does this kind of lying.

If it is the second - dump him. This is a serious problem that goes beyond honesty and into fidelity, etc.

I know you are 'In love with him'. And I know that it can hurt to do the right thing. But I would suggest that you are just on here asking this question because you are searching for some kind of validation. You are hoping someone is going to say: 'yeah, stay with the bloke'. But I think that the fact that you are asking this question means that you know you probably shouldn't be with him.

Love at your age shouldn't be this much work. If it is this much work and you are agonizing this much now - where will your relationship be in 10-15 years?

If you don't think that you will be together that long ...then why bother putting up with the crap?

You will only ever be treated as badly as you allow someone to treat you.

Do you want to allow someone to continuously lie to you about serious issues?

The choice is up to you - but a wrong choice could mean losing precious time from your life that could be spent being happier.

[Anonymous]

were on the same boat. My boyfriend lies about whos he has tlked to, what he's doin who he is hangin out with. I basically snapped one day, layed out his puzzle pieces all over the table that didn't fit and asked why. I told him that it makes me hurt and not trust him knowing and not knowing he lies to me. He has told me a couple times as well as his friends sayin he lied, excuse me, he said a "white" lie (no such thing lol) because he didn't want me to get on his case about him texting his friend (whom I dispise) or hangin out with him or me gettin annoyed bla bla. I told him I didn't even get mad half the time until I knew he was lying, so I started just going with the few lies he did, so I could prove I wouldn't freak. He is now a lot better since he knows I'm not going to freak. I don't know if that story helped you or not but all I can say is communicate! and don't get mad, be calm. :) good luck!

[TiffanyRose]

I communicate with him a lot now I have sat him down and talked to him. I told him how much it hurts and that I wouldn't mind as long as he tells me. I don't yell at him but I still wonder how long it will last before he does it again. and I don't like having to feel that way. so our stories are basically so much the same.....thanks for the help. I wish you the best of luck also

[kalabama]

just like once a cheater, always a cheater.. people don't change from one to another..

[lushnight]

In my experience guys who lie do tend to keep doing so. I'm not entirely sure why, but it's almost like a bad habit, perhaps something that gives him a bit of a thrill. It's one of those things where he might get better, but there is always the chance that he will do it again.

[TiffanyRose]

When I set him down and talked to him bout everything I caught him doin he told me he lies to me because he is scared of hurting me. I don't know he makes up an excuse for all the lies and some times they are very good excuses but I know thier bullsh*t.. I basically hav e to get all these excuses tell I get the truth. I just I don't know I don't want it to be true because I know I can do better but grrrr.... why lie if you can just tell me the truth

[CestLolaVie]

Yes. Once a liar, always a liar.

[aurasprw]

hes a filthy liar. I'm 100% positive of this.

[JackHoff77]

Everybody is a liar.