Avoid eye contact?

Question

There's a guy who avoids eye contact with me. I kind of like him.

Its not like he is focusing his attention elsewhere, or that he isn't "maintaining" eye contact (because then I'd figure it was disinterest, dislike, what have you)... he just doesn't MAKE it at all.

Its almost more like he's "lowering the gaze" like Muslim women are to do to be "modest". But, no, he is no Muslim woman. He's a 20-something American male. He remains polite and nice... friendly even, he's just not looking me in the eye.

One time he did look me in the eye, and I ended up looking away... because I am shy. I don't know if that's his reason or not though. I have tried to make eye contact with him but I'm not really sure who looks away first - me or him.

There have been things which have made me question his attraction (touching my lower back, doing favors, being concerned or a little protective, quieter when there are more people around especially ones he knows, flashing his eyebrows, etc.)

But I'm wondering about the avoidance of eye contact... people seem to think its dislike. I at least know that he doesn't dislike me. He's never, ever rude to me. But beyond knowing what it DOESN'T mean, I have no idea. Thanks!

Dorby · Accepted Answer

He likes you, it can be a sign of submissiveness to you, he thinks that you are beautiful, but he is afraid that you will notice it, because he doesn't know what you would think. So he tries to be polite and friendly to you, because that's the easiest way of confronting you.

Or maybe he is shy overall, that looking into peoples eyes is a thing that needs trust and respect. Maybe he is scared of putting trust into someone or expose himself the way you do when looking into someones eyes, eye-to-eye.

Either of these two things are kinda basic childish behaviours, things that needs to develop to some more social and open "expressions", even if he is 20y something.

I know I were like this myself when I was younger, I was aware of it too and soon I trained it away.

I would definately not say that he dislikes you, because then he would show it in a another way, probably ignore you. He likes you, but are somewhat shy in front of you.

superasker · Accepted Answer

Sounds like a lack of confidence to me. He obviously finds you very attractive. The more you make him feel comfortable and stare into his eyes as he talks, the more he'll make eye contact with you and feel comfortable with you.

Be persistent and good luck!

DreamyEyes · Accepted Answer

I believe that you have a stronger eye contact than him.  One of my male cousins do not look at me when he  talks to me. He never could.  Ask him to play the game of staring into each others eyes.

babygirlstocute · Accepted Answer

he probaly likes you  because when a guy looks else where wen they have a hard time looking in ur eyes with out get lost

socaalgirl · Accepted Answer

Tell him it's okay to look into your eyes, joke about it.  Have fun.

swagger · Answer

If you are super shy then try to get his email address or Facebook. Then send him a message about going on a date. It will be easier to do than doing it face to face.

I reckon this guy likes you a lot though and you would not be losing anything by going ot ask him face to face. He seems to be just as shy as you.

Hope you get things sorted.

myself · Answer

"He just doesn't MAKE it at all." -> Haha. Actually, most guys are like this.

He is just a timid person. Period.

This type of guy needs assurance from the girls that he won't be rejected.

So.. smile at him.

Greet him.

Laugh with him.

Joke around with him.

That will give a great encouragement with him to approach you.. and possibly confess. Woohoo!

Hope this helps.

Yours sincerely,

R

SilentG · Answer

It's normal, it could be striking for you to know that most males on earth avoid eye contact or at least half :P not in america maybe, but it's a social quality that you learn and experience, more like a communicating behavior... and since half of males are nerdy, others are shy, the rest simply don't know or never learned that eye contact is extremely important in social communication, you should know that's just normal about that guy. If you ended with him, chances are his shyness is going to go, and you might teach him how important eye contact is, too.

takemedrunkimhome · Answer

If maintaining eye contact doesn't come naturally then it will always be a problem. Even once you realise that you have to try to maintain eye contact it becomes a nightmare. You end up so focused on looking the person in the eye you miss what they are saying haha. It becomes more of a big deal than it was before lol.

I read somewhere once that if its a problem for you then practice making eye contact with newsreaders on tv.. generally they will look directly at the camera so you can grow comfortable looking someone in the eye without them being able to see you.. if that makes sense :)

Quandary · Answer

Shyness. Attraction. Me personally, I always avoid eye contact with a girl I like. I have a noticeable eye problem, which can only be seen in prolonged eye contact. So I avoid it, so the girl doesn't get creeped out before she gets to know me. But whatever the reason, the dude likes you. Keep at it, and he'll come around, I promise.

Dan2287 · Answer

When I see an attractive woman, eye contact is near impossible for me to make. Its hard to explain why, but its like I'm almost ashamed and embarassed of being attracted to the woman. I know it can be taken as a sign of disinterest, but with men I wouldn't read into that so much. As 'myself' said, a lot of guys struggle with this

troublemaker · Answer

if he likes you and stares what tends to happen to most guys is that our eyes fall down to a girls chest. it happens a lot and to some its just reaction or that's what they always do no matter what. IF he doesn't look at you or keep eye contact then he doesn't want to look at your chest and have you feel embarassed along with making him feel akward if he likes you

Brando · Answer

He thinks you are pretty, he likes you and wants to get to know you, he's shy and likes you, he is wondering how to talk to you, he's seeing if you like him, he's trying to psyche himself up to make a move, he's wondering if he has a chance, he's trying to get you to make a move (if he's shy), he thinks you have bad hair...could be a number of things. If he doesn't make a move then don't leave it to mystery, you'll regret it. Make a move

jacquesvol · Answer

a guy who avoids eye contact with me. I kind of like him."

-Because little kids tend to stare at people and their mothers tell them a hundred or a thousand times "don't stare like that, it's not polite!"

-Because later girls tell them tens of times "Why do you stare at me? Do I have two noses?"

-Or because he's more interested in your bra.

-Or because he's not interested at all.

Or...

Or...

PoliticalPerson · Answer

He and I have something in common. I haven't overcome my shyness and nervousness when around or in contact with a girl. I just can't hold eye contact, because I am afraid I'll come off as that creepy guy who stares at women.

djbradleyray · Answer

he used to be like me. and be to shy. if he said anything. it was not with his attention in your eyes. just sya to him next time whoever it is. hey sweets, its okay look at me okay?

tigerguy · Answer

he prob likes you a lot and doesn't want to freak you out, he prob thinks if he does you prob think he's weird

mz4568 · Answer

He's intimidated, shy and also afraid. You need to say hi to him.

Anonymous · Answer

my eyes feel like they're burning if I keep I contact for more than like half a second lol. don't know why, just does

chrispinn · Answer

you probably intimidate him and he thinks he doesn't have a chance with you.. so he tries to hide his feelings

itsmeee · Answer

say you saw somehting in his eye, say a pattern or some nice colour. and hold his chin up and look right into them and instruct him to look at you

xBrookex · Answer

Well I haven't had much experience with guys but I would say that he is either shy or he likes you.

Anonymous · Answer

Some people don't like to do eye contract. But I thinks he likes you.

nnosem · Answer

i think he is shy ...

2004HondaRancher · Answer

If he's a shy person then maybe he likes you...

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