Why are girls so shallow and picky in guys?

Question

Girls these days are 5 times more shallow and picky than guys are. Don't you think so? I truly believe that women are more picky than men b men are the ones who get a bad rep. True they are visual but women are even more superficial when it comes to looks.

Men will be attracted to most women just because they are women. That is no mystery. Even if a woman is average or homely even...most men will find a woman attractive just because she is a woman. If a woman has even one physical attribute, most men will find her sexy.

But the opposite is not true for women. They put much more emphasis on the way a man looks facially than men do. Women only go weak in the knees for truly model perfect, men with chiseled faces. If a man is ugly or even average...unless he has money or power...MOST women won't find him attractive at all. "Nice Guy" is code for average or ugly. Men truly get a bad rep for being shallow when it comes to looks...

But I truly believe men are much more accepting and easy in finding more women attractive. While women are much more picky and perfectionist. And not only about looks. But money and career too. There is so much pressure on men. Women have the power sexually. At least until a certain age.

Men don't want models. That is a fallacy. Women and gay men control the fashion industry, and put pressure on themselves. Sadly most women try to land the "hot guy" when they are young. As they get older, they try to land the "rich AND hot guy". Then they just try for the "rich guy".

This is why you see almost every girl, including really fat and out of shape ones getting attention from a guy here and there but for guy even if he is not bad and decent looking barely gets any attention from girls. There are fat and completely unattractive women who completely ignore guys of their level (fat and completely attractive men) for better. Whereas those men won't mind going out with them in a heartbeat.

So after writing all this, I just wanna know the answer from you girls. Why are most of you, if not all, so damn shallow and picky?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I completely agree... One of the BIGGEST things women are SOOO overly picky about even though a lot of women deny it is men's HEIGHT! Single women constantly say oh height is no big deal. OH REALLY? Then why a lot of you women in the range of like 5'0"to like 5'5" constantly say or put out there that you only will date a man that is at minimum in the 6' range but preferably much taller like a whole effin foot taller or more. Don't start saying the so lame excuse of cause I like to wear high heels and I don't want him to be shorter then me! Really? So a guy that is in your stupid standard a whole effin foot taller than you, you think with your heels your going to be taller than him? Plus seriously women you seriously don't wear high heels every single day 7 days a week! Women don't wear high heels for just casual and if you do we sure as he** don't want to hear you bitc* when your heels make your feet hurt. That's your damn fault! If your high heels hurt your feet then common since is don't effin wear your high heels!

Single women these days are so overly obsessed with men's height and they try and make their case but can't ever BACK UP the height issue. Single women when asked about men's height they usually say some stupid BS like (I don't know I guess just cause I like height, I like tall men, another completely stupid a** answer a lot of women say is I like tall men cause of "protection"!) OK protection from what? Seriously from the eff what? Women think that the taller he must just must automatically be oh so "strong", single women these days think "protection" must mean from fights! What effin adults get's into fights these days? Unless your oh so tall Boyfriend is a complete "LOSER" get's into fights. Grown adults do not get into fights, unless he's a punk, deadbeat or loser. So when she breaks up with her oh so tall Boyfriend she must then need a bodyguard since she said she feels protected!

Ok yes women these days are SOOOOOO overly picky and shallow when it comes to men and has gotten so much worse even in the last 3 to 5 years women are so much more adamant that he must be this and this and this and this and the list could literally go on and on and on and... Maybe a lot of these women with these ENORMOUS yes for some women don't deny it you have these absolutely ENORMOUS check list and are so adamant that he meets all these stupid requirements. Most of the list is SUPERFICIAL and NO MAN is going to meet all her "requirements"! Then these women get so pisse* when she can't find any guy and is constantly told she has to lose most of her superficial list! There is no such thing as "PERFECT" man, nor is there anything that is ever absolutely "PERFECT"! The women that are always trying to look for that "PERFECT" and wonder why she can't ever find something is cause first of all obviously she's only kidding herself about thinking there is a "perfect" and second she's trying to hide her imperfections by looking and having this enormous "list".

TimeAndTimeAgain · Accepted Answer

I agree with you in the sense that they're more shallow and selective, but not in the looks department. Girls barely care about what a guy looks. It's more about how the guy makes her feel and what he's like. But this is the big problem.

They're attracted to the most weird and retarded kind of guys: Guys who treat them like crap. Guys who make the girl feel like sh*t. Guys who give off the impression like she's not good enough. Have you ever heard a saying that talks about a relationship without any fighting is an unhealthy relationship? Well, that's why. It has nothing to do with working out your problems. It's because if the man treats the woman like she's perfect, and worthy, and deserving of him, she's gonna get bored and leave him for someone who isn't so caring. At least most women do.

And the sad thing is that they don't even realize this. That's the most pathetic thing about this. They THINK they want caring, nice guys who treat them right, but in the end they never give guys like that a chance. I'm sick and tired of seeing girls with douchebags, and when I ask them why they like the guy, I get answers like: "Oh I don't know..." or "It's hard to explain, he's just so perfect...". The only thing that's perfect is how he uses her insecurities to make her stay with him, because jerks know that the more you put women down, the more they end up liking you somehow.

Not all women are like this, obviously. But this is what I like to call "shallow" behavior in women. Instead of giving the nice, caring guys who truly care about them a chance, they go for the jerks who don't give a sh*t. This is just like a guy picking a really hot girl who is a total bitch/slut, over the average girl with an awesome personality. That's what shallow is. For girls, it has nothing to do with looks, but more to do with attitude. It's all made possible because girls make way too many assumptions when it comes to guys. Instead of looking at the guy himself, they look at everything else.

It's the reason why you don't see guys being able to pick up girls if they go out to clubs by themselves. If they're alone, they're creepy. If they're with friends, only then they're "approachable". WTF is this? It's girls, and their shallow head. Why do you think guys become so much more attractive to girls when they aren't single anymore? Because girls want what other girls want? Why is this? Again, shallowness. There's plenty of cases like this, some more retarded than the ones I've mentioned, but they all show how shallow girls can be. Geez, all guys want is a girl who takes care of herself and a nice personality. No big boobs required. No perfect body necessary. And it doesn't matter how many friends she has with her when you meet her, or how many guys are asking her out all the time. Looks DO matter for guys, yes. But at least we don't discriminate on that as much as girls discriminate on bullsh*t factors.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

that is a complete lie, first of all women are not one large monolith with one collective thought. what's good looking to one girl is completely ugly to another. take robert pattinson. there are girls who go KRAZY for this guy but I find him very unattractive. the type of guys I go for, my best friend finds lukewarm at best. yeah everyone is attracted to hot people but most people are average. that's why its called "average". there are a few outliers (ugly people and hot people) but most of us are average.

there are PLENTY of average women who would be interested in an average or even unattractive guy, especially if he's a Quality man because MOST women are average looking and most women are looking for quality men. The BULK of ALL women are average looking. That's what AVERAGE means. Yet so many men are searching for the next hot trophy girlfriend. and I know this because I see how so many average and ugly looking girls I know never get attention or asked out by guys. yeah some guys might want to fk them if they're going through a dry spell but that's about it. So, I don't have any sympathy for you. With all of the quality women available, you could find a good woman if your realistic & serious.

i've seen more fat and unattractive girls without dates because even fat and unattractive guys often want prettier girls.

most men might HAVE SEX with an ugly woman just because she has a warm hole, but as far as dating her, being in a relationship with her, and introducing her to friends...yeah right lol. I had a friend in high school that was like 5'3 260 pounds but had a really pretty face and dressed nicely. no guy would date her and she was picked on all the time. and the guys she did hook up with would make fun of her behind her back and not publicly acknowledge her. and no these werent the "hot alpha male good looking guys" they were actually rather average. I tried to give her some advice and tell her to stop messing with guys like that, but she didn't have very many options.

Your screen name is UglyGuy so I'm gonna assume that you're ugly. not just average looking, or not the best looking guy but ugly and you probably have low confidence to boot. so instead of complaining about how shallow and picky girls are, stop feeling sorry for yourself and work on what you can change and you could attract girls.

most of the girls that are extremely "picky" as you put it and hyper discerning are the hot girls that 90% of guys want. they can afford to be picky and shallow because they have first pick on guys. your statement was a complete lie sorry. if every girl ranging from the ugly fat girls to the hottest of the hot does not want a certain guy it is most likely NOT his looks that they are turned off by. most women are not attracted to a guy who is whining and feeling sorry for himself on a regular basis. it shows that your insecure, not confident and makes you look less masculine. like I said, work on that

dlocnarniac · Accepted Answer

Lots of generalizations here…

Not ALL girls just want a hot guy. Not all women want a hot rich guy. Not all guys will go for a female just because she's female. Not all girls go for a guy who treats them like dirt. A guy who treats me that way just blew every chance he had with me, no matter how good looking he is.

I think the superficial attraction goes both ways - guys do it and girls do it. You've made a generalization about gals superficially going for hot guys and then said that guys don't do that when it comes to girls. That is your perception. In the perception of many girls, guys mainly go for the best looking women. So now we're talking about your perception of women and their perception of you. Both perceptions are probably somewhat true and somewhat false, depending on individual people.

I'm much more interested in guys who are intelligent and classy/act professionally. This means I'd pick an average guy who is intelligent and classy over a hot guy who isn't those things. It also means your generalization is inaccurate. So please don't generalize. And realize that your generalizations are based on your perception, which is incomplete/inaccurate, at least when you try to apply it to all women.

ilovecookies · Accepted Answer

I don't think I am that shallow and picky. To be honest, I dated men who I didn't find perfectly handsome, I mean, they looked fine, but they had a great personality! On the other hand though, it was my ex who told me to lose weight! He's like uhmm...I think your thighs are a bit thick! OMG, that was very depressing...coming from someone I really liked... My dad and my brother told me to lose weight as well! I weight 120.. -.- I never thought it was a problem. I do need someone who I at least find pleasing to the eye, or attractive. Adversely, many women find what I find attractive unattractive! I like guys with a baby face, etc etc..Looks only wouldn't do of course, he must have a great personality. I wouldn't choose a man who is too hot because he'd be intimidating, and I'd be too nervous to even approach him or be near him. (Im a very shy guy when it comes to that). I wouldn't feel secure if he were too hot, I mean...how many girls are after him..-.-...I rather pick someone who is applealing to the eye and adorable inside.

Mesonfielde · Answer

Males are equally picky. This is natural selection at work.

Anonymous · Answer

The fact that men will for someone even "homely" looking and women will not does NOT prove that women are shallow. It would prove that men are desperate.
And for the record, I know very very few men (if any at all? ) that would go for any woman and be attracted to her JUST because she's a woman.
Any man who is like that, is extremely desperate and has no standards. That's not our fault. Most men and women have standards. Imagine if a girl said what you said "we're atttacted to every man, even if they're homely looking, just because he's a man. " wtf? It sounds even nore desperate like that.
And no. You said that women only want models with chiseled faces and bodies. What the hell are you talking about? if girls only wanted that type of guy, we'd all be single because there's so few men like that. If you're not getting female attention, why blame the females?
That's what a lot of guys do. If they can't get a date or sex or a certain girl, they say there's something wrong with all women.
That's far from the case. And if you go through some of these questions, men can be really picky. Mostly about body. I've seen guys call women of a healthy weight fat, or say thin women don't even look like women, or bash small breasts, etc.
Men and women generally want a certain looking partner. If you're okay with ANYTHING that comes your way then you're desperate and that's no one else's fault

kiki_bu11 · Answer

I am neither shallow nor picky.

My husband falls under the category of average looking. He is nowhere near a "truly perfect model" you say girls want. He has no money or power. He works at a minimum wage job at the bottom of the corporate ladder.

I have been rejected by numerous guys for being too ugly. It had nothing to do with personality, but I was not hot enough for them, so they refused to even get to know me.

Based on my experiences, you are completely off base. It's the other way around.

MoeMoe · Answer

One other thing I have been hearing/creeping up in conversations among women that even though we are in a recession and it's beyond extremely tough to get a job and with layoffs rampant and no fault of our own that you were laid off. Women bring up that she want's and demands a guy with a job, career. Um yeah NO effin shi*! While your bi*chin to your girlfriends (were educated, college grads, have had our jobs and were laid the eff off), were desperately trying to find our jobs! So back the eff off when we say we were laid off, looking for our jobs, interviewing or taking some job just for the "mean" time until we get into our jobs. Were looking, it's not as though we were laid off and so we just gave up and not looking. We effin want our jobs, every single day were looking, applying, trying to get an interview and were busting our a**es to find our jobs! So relax women CHILL out when men that were laid off ask you out. Plus it's not just US men that are being laid off, women are just as easily being laid off and yes a lot of men want a lady that is educated and has a good job. But we understand the ECONOMY, we understand it's obviously hard and your working as a waitress, bar tender, retail until you find a job just like us men. Were in the same boat!

I also think women just like to obviously BITC*/say shi* about shi* but that's about it just bitchin* and not really seriously. I think women bitching to women is a lot like men friends BS to men friends.

Anonymous · Answer

"No perfect body necessary"?! I call BS on that. I think the reason women are becoming more selective is because we are tired of just settling for anyone.

Oh the word "settling" is becoming a bad, really bad word with women these days and men are effin sick and tired of women coining the term "settling" as such a bad thing. Women these days are using the term "settling" these days are like oh no no no I will never "settle", I won't settle for anything less then "perfect" or she tell all her Girlfriend he must be all this and meet this huge enormous list before I even think of "settling" and then the friends tell all her GF's don't ever settle but always hold out. Gawd men are SICK and effin TIRED of women bashing the word "settling" and think it's this gawd awful thing to "settle". WOMEN LISTEN UP YOU ARE NOT EFFIN MEN! It's a pure and simple FACT men can be bachelors a lot a hell of a lot longer than YOU! Get the eff over it women when your parents start asking you about marriage, you better not be too PICKY, yes WOMEN it's a pure and SIMPLE fact you have start thinking about MARRIAGE around 27, 28, 29 to 30ish cause your biological clock is TICKING!

eugene9001 · Answer

you girls are dooped this generation this is one in one in dating programs that trick all women nice to naughty they teach personalities i looked it up took some of it in but don't believe in most of it women are not full proof guys with most of the women are getting manipulated and would even kill for him look up and dating book and trust me they help you out but truth be truth it is all womanizing tricks of the con artist i learn this i had no money in life last person on the list for girls always focusing on school waiting for the perfect date to come alone what i learn the more UN honest you are in life the better of you are i got hurt trust me women never payed attention to me but I'm going to get rich now because i would be that guy that tells my wife i love her but i don't really love her to her face because she i not so hot i don't think so nice to women be nice they never pay any attention to them i don't have that personality to sleep with any women i don't have a lasting relation with but when your a guy don't make much they will feed you these tricks a tricks and get any women they like line a women up for a year in a row and guess women will always fall for this the alfalfa male has a loud bark but i use to drive cab because i was a cab driver try talking and holding a conversation with a hot women say hi try to ask her question silent treatment think of that i was making over 3000 month a good wage but i don't let them know that summer slow but to the point try to talk to them silent treatment and the sleep with guy who are booting calling all the hot ones i think they all want the easy life but never want to work for it party all day and night even the upper middle class learned from a small city women in the big city have secrets like a lot of flings with marred men and women have husbands a prostituting with kids small city sin city remember play hard work hard lesson learn girls want to not work and girls depend on the man to work not equals

SharonStark · Answer

Science can explain this one. Women are pickier than men since they exist, and there's a reason. Imagine all the time and effort and pain it took for woman to have children in the ancient times. 9 months carrying a baby, some more breastfeeding and taking care of it, until she could have another baby. The man must be worth all this time and pain! Their genes MUST be worth being passed forward! Men are less picky because they could impregnate literally hundreds of woman in a year, and it's so easy and pleasurable for them.

It's the natural selection. Without it we wouldn't be here.

Anonymous · Answer

Honestly, let's just get real here: men and women are both EQUALLY shallow. You can point fingers and cry about it all you want, but when it comes down to it, the playing field is matched. Women are objectified and taught from early childhood that beauty is essential to their happiness, often in the form of cheesy Disney Princess films and other subjected media. Mind you that these very same movies and other forms of media portray men just as unrealistically, causing us all to be prematurely romanticized to what gender standards should idealistically be. All you can do is accept that this is the world we live in, and be smart enough not to fall under those idealistic ways of thinking, but not judge someone who has been subjected to it all their life either. Look for a decent person who you can connect with and don't be hurt if someone doesn't want you because you "aren't attractive enough", because you're dodging a bullet really. Would you want to date someone that shallow? Of course not. So, enough with the gender based assumptions already. PEOPLE are shallow, but you can choose not to be.

simonehearts · Answer

bs. I think these guys think they look for homely girls but honestly no one pays attention to the shy quite ones. no one considers them. it also depends on personality, I've known many guys on my level and well above it.. and they were either annoying as hell, or just to much like friends. I've dated guys who are attrative, in great shape, good jobs, nice cars... but their personalities are crap so I over look them. I'm not in great shape.. I'm not huge but I'm not great. and from the female point YES you men ARE shallow. I've had men around my size and bigger pass me by because they're shallow. even ones who have told me to my face.

get off your high horse and open your eyes. maybe you get pushed aside for your personality. or your going for shallow girls. don't group all women together cause you get burned.

Anonymous · Answer

Men are much more shallow than women.  Yes, women can be shallow, but men are much more shallow by far. This is because in order for a man to like a woman, she must be attractive to him. But in order for a woman to like a man, he does not have to be attractive. Women are attracted to a multitude of different things, & as long as a guy has one of these qualities, she will love him unconditionally, even if he's ugly. Yes, most women start off wanting an attractive man, but women grow up & see so many other qualities are more important. It takes men a longer time to realize this, & a good percentage of them never do. And if you want proof, look at society. You will always see men looking at pretty women, spending their money on pretty women, & dating pretty women. But women are always dating men who are unattractive, even when that woman is attractive herself. Men just can't get past looks, but women are usually over looks by 17 or 18.

aneleda · Answer

Nature intended for men to spread their genes as far and wide as possible, so they are more interested in sex and are less picky. Women, on the other hand, have to choose carefully who they allow to impregnate them because giving birth and raising a child takes a lot of energy and resources. So they are more likely to pick a physically stronger man with better income. Even if it's just dating, those rules apply. That's how it works with most species - males try to impress females. And it's not "shallow", it's a part of evolution.

Also, SURPRISE - not all women care about the same things. There are many women out there, who actually date (and MARRY) men who aren't rich or "hot guys", but have some other valuable properties, like loyalty, integrity, intelligence and strong morals, something many people lack nowadays.

Contrary to what you'd like to believe, despite being driven by similar instincts, we aren't all the same.

Anonymous · Answer

I agree, I am actually shallow and ashamed of it. There are guys who are just so kind to me and care but I am not feeling anything romantic with them. Instead I chose the gorgeous guy with a decent personality but he doesn't express his feelings. I admit I am shallow to an extent, because if a guy is a complete jerk (like my friends ex who asked me out) I would just drop him. But I feel so bad that I don't want anything more with the guy who cares if I don't feel a bit of lust. I am so sorry and trust me I am ashamed of myself.

Anonymous · Answer

I agree with all of what you said. I think to be honest it's a society thing, in the sense that women will go for guys with more money rather than the nice guy etc. Ie. society has told women to have a man who is rich or handsome. As he will provide for the woman in the long run. Also the publicity around being shallow and picky for girls is extremely high these days. Programs show bitches getting what they want. So does other media. So the shallow part I think stems from there and the 'new generation' of nasty girls.

Wolfbringer22 · Answer

to be honest women use nature, biology, and impulses as an excuse. to be honest when given the chance they will always be picky and they're shallow because they would be mad if men did the same thing to them. for example men by nature mate with different women as much as possible to spread his genetics. but in today's society RUN BY MEN it is not appropriate and creates unhealthy house holds. when you put this excuse in women's hands they are not willing to change themselves against nature and make excuses because men are willing to go along with it to make them happy.
examples:
tall man/ really short woman,
handsome man/ ugly women
rich man/ poor woman
twilight
in the examples given women hardly allow the reverse unless a man makes up for her short comings in some way
hence why they are immature. because men just want to be in a happy relationship they just go with it.

Anonymous · Answer

It comes with age. Girls between 16-24 have the world at their oyster especially if they're pretty...

By the time 25-30+ rolls around most of the successful good looking ones are taken, and they're left with attractive or semi-successful bums that don't do it for them the way they did in those younger years.

Being around that age and slaying with girls I never would'a thought I'd had a chance with in my teens its actually kinda hilarious to see the panic.

Take a stroll through dating site profiles the younger girls are all about getting out partying as they age its "I'm done being played, looking for nice sweet"

So if your not doing well with the ladies being young just make something of yourself, workout and it'll come back ten fold later when they realize they aren't the life of the party anymore :)

Anonymous · Answer

Read the male's answers in this question, & you'll see men are just as shallow, if not more.

20Katerina · Answer

Its funny because girls have said the same thing about men. Don't we all feel that way. Not all of us are like that I promise it seems as if this has become a material world. It also seems as if what is seen on TV etc. Is what people want. I am far from being shallow I think we all have something beautiful about are self's and no one is perfect. Like I say if your good looking and cocky and a ass hole then your ugly to me :) I have dated over weight men before and men with acne.

been_waiting · Answer

Shallow, no.
Picky, yes.
Girls have more options and can afford to be more picky. I also think that they think a lot more about their options than guys do.

Also comes down to evolutionary psychology. A man's best bet for producing the most/best offspring is mate with as many as possible and hope for the best. Girls get pregnant and have to carry the baby for 9 months and can't have as many kids so they choose mates more wisely

Orome · Answer

Absolutely, I think things have shifted over the past 10-20 years. Women look for different things in a man than they used to. Looks have become the most important factor for women choosing a mate. Most guys fit within the normal range, but if you are a facially unattractive guy, life will suck. Just accept a diminished quality of life and that you will likely wind up alone. Women will treat men with an unattractive face similar to how men treat obese women. In fact worse in some circumstances, if an unattractive woman makes an unreciprocated advance on a man, normally he won't go about shaming her and putting her down for it, not publicly at least. If an unattractive man is so much as friendly with a woman that finds him unattractive he will be labeled as a 'creep', 'loser', or even worse. It's like being unattractive automatically makes him less than human.

NoNameisMe · Answer

To the women claiming that guys are more shallow than women are mistaken. I am a good guy that gets rejected by every woman I ask out. Why? It's because I don't meet their height requirement as well as their financial requirement. I am 5'10, workout regularly, and am confident about who I am. So, women, you are just as shallow as men just in another way. I never shy away from bigger women, my ex was a larger woman with a good personality and we had things in common. You cannot categorize all men as shallow, just like men can't do that to women but from my experience, women edge out the shallow factor in dating. There is more that I notice but I'm going stop here.

Why are girls so shallow and picky in guys?

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