Reasons a girl suddenly loses interest?

[Anonymous]

Can you list some possible reasons why a girl would suddenly stop responding to your texts, after you've gone out on four dates?

Physically we didn't get far = we never kissed but that's cause she would get nervous around me and I didn't want to force it on her. Also she got out of a bad relationships prior so I figure she wanted to take things slow and be able to trust me.

Other than that I don't see any reason why she would stop being interested. Dates were fun, I texted her throughout the week complimenting her, asking her out. Never called on the phone but I think we both preferred it like that? The few times I called her she didn't have much to say and sounded nervous so I didn't call her anymore after that, stuck to texting.

Last time I saw her was for a few minutes, she was shopping at the store I work with her mom, we exchanged pleasantries, was even invited for dinner by her mom, then POOF she up and disappears on me. No response to texts or phone calls.

It's been two days.. MAYBE I'm overreacting and something happened, but chances are she just doesn't want to talk to me anymore.. and I'm just trying to figure out why.

We went on 4 dates over the course of a month, dated for a month and a half, flirted for months before that...

[ShootingStar5]

It sounds to me like she decided she wasn't really interested in you after going on a few dates, or maybe she doesn't want a relationship period. She probably stopped contact because a lot of us girls are afraid of hurting the guys feelings. So instead of telling him that "we're just not that into him," we just stop talking to him, or come up with excuses for why we don't want to see him.

I disagree with what Belgie said. I'm a girl who gets scared off easily by needy guys, I like my space. And it sounds like you were giving her the right amount of attention to show you're interested without looking needy and clingy. A couple of messages or a phone call a day is perfectly fine. Just as long as you're not blowing up her phone 24/7.

[Anonymous]

I know it's harsh but...she's just not that into you! :-(

[Belgie]

You were too needy, it sounds like to me.

You never even kissed, after 4 dates. And you texted her throughout the week, firing compliments at her. Wrong wrong wrong... That's the sort of thing I'd expect from a teenager with his first ever girlfriend.

She probably decided that you were too needy, not manly enough, and not particularly interesting. So she's taking some space, and avoiding your daily SMS compliments and so on.

[Asker]

So what's the right way of doing it? She would never look me in the eye when we were close and cuddling, how am I supposed to kiss her when she's so nervous? At the end of dates I'd look her in her eyes, she'd get nervous look away and we'd end up hugging..what would a "man" do?

I don't agree with the needy thing either..I texted her maybe every two days, actually I get the feeling that I didn't contact her enough, maybe she thought I wasn't too intersested.

[Belgie]

Sorry, but there is no way she thought you weren't interested. A girl doesn't avoid all contact with you, because she thinks YOU are not interested.

[Asker]

The thing about me being interesting is probably true though.. we didn't really have stimulating conversation when we were together.. I'm sure whatever I feel about her she feels the same way.

For example, I think we didn't have great conversation, she was too distant, too nervous, and too into herself.

She probably things we didn't have great conversation, didn't give her enough attention, didn't jump through hoops to get to her and sweep her off her feet, wasn't "manly" enough. Oh well

[Belgie]

No sir, the "giving her enough attention", jumping through hoops, sweep her off her feet stuff? That's what kids do, to try and impress a girl. And they usually wind up annoying her.

That's not how you do it.

[Asker]

So then I don't see what I did wrong. I gave her attention, texted maybe twice-three times a week, One of those was to ask her out. In person I could make her laugh, we would hold hands, she would get nervous if things got too heated so I didn't force it on her or push my limits, I figured with time she would get comfortable. But there wasn't much time to work with apparently, cause she's moving on.

It could be her.. not me. Either way I'm not feeling too down we didn't really get far

[Belgie]

You gave her too much, too soon (in terms of the attention, the texting etc...) and too little in terms of 4 dates without a single kiss. That's the "too needy" and "not manly enough" parts of my original answer.

[Asker]

I get it I get it we can exchange counter arguments back and forth all day. I just don't know how to kiss a girl when she isn't giving me any signals to do it. If she's not looking at me while we're cuddling I'm not gonna grab her face, point it towards mine and kiss her. Or is that the manly thing to do? She just didn't seem ready to kiss, but no doubt she wanted to kiss. She might have been too nervous to show me she wanted to kiss, I guess you're right I should have just done it

[Belgie]

Damn straight. Never ask for permission to kiss a girl. If she's nervous, it's your job as the guy to make her feel safe, but still make her legs tremble. Better luck with the next one.

[AustinMan]

Sorry to be the one to say this but she's just not that into you. Let her go. There are tons of girls out there.

[Shaun]

You've got to kiss the girl sooner than four dates. Give her something to want.

[ShootingStar5]

I disagree. If the girl wasn't giving off the "kiss me" body language/signals then it's probably not a good idea to kiss her lol. And if the girl really likes you, she can wait longer than four dates for a kiss. So I really doubt that has anything to do with it.

[Shaun]

She liked him enough after the first date to go on a second date.