Why Are So Many Men So Selfish?

[Anonymous]

Ever notice that men- ahem- or should I call them boys, only care about feelings when it's their own? If they hurt someone else they usually don't care, but if they get offended in the least they have to make a big production about it.

Serious guys, man up.

And I just can't wait for some guys to comment on this and prove me right. Of course I am not saying all guys are like this, that is never the case. Some of you are not selfish and good men, I understand that.

But why are they so hard to find?

When I read these answers most of the people that are flying off the handle about the smallest thing, are guys.

There are some girls too, I'm not going to say there aren't, and I don't think them any less selfish.

But why is it everyone gets so offended easily... especially the guys.

For all you who can blow stuff off, have manners, respect others, and give great advice and actually care about the people you're answering, guy or girl, thank you so much. I really appreciate all you guys do and for not making people feel bad about some of the questions they ask and/or answer.

Thanks for it all, really.

You guys are the reasons I still feel comfortable enough to ask questions on here to change my life for the better and get answers I couldn't get from family. There are some things you can't ask your family or friends because it's too embarrassing or they wouldn't understand. You keep the whole reason of girlsaskguys alive :)

Thank you for not making some of us feel self conscious or guilty and encourage us to try to change for the better.

You guys are great. :)

Updates

+1 y

Thank you all. :) There have been some great answers and in a little more hope and/or understanding in each one. Thank you so much. :)

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

People in general are selfish - that can't be helped.

I think the reason - more guys fly off the wall, is because they feel an immense pressure to be perfect, and after trying over and over again in figuring out what they have to do in order to get a woman -

They're more easily set off about certain things.

It's always the lonely guys, one's who haven't dated yet, severely insecure, overall - just can't f***ing figure it out guys.

They tend to think in the one dimension, and fight against reality because they want to argue why the world should be suited for their desires - because they struggle to gain on their own.

All I can say is - ignore them.

Everyone has many lessons to learn in life - this is obviously one of their's to learn for themselves.

They can type and spew until all the keys on their comp fall off - but nothing in their reality is going to change until they step up and do something about it.

That goes for all the complainers on here about this and that issue with their life - girl and guy alike. - I respect the people who actually seek out and look for legit help - not post their question ranting just to spite the topic they choose.

But eh - you'll encounter tons of people like this so, just gotta deal with it ha ha

[Asker]

I wouldn't mind dealing with some, that's fine. It's just there seems to be so many now. One after the other. Thank you though. This did help. :)

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

yea sometimes there's heaps of mopey mona's and mitch's but sometimes there's not too many. Meh lol

[pr3ttybr0wn]

guys are socialized to play the field when they are young and settle down when they are older and more established. so if he is not like in his late 20s or 30s he is more than likely not thinking of making a life with you. aka you're a temporary girl, and one of many temporary girls until he one day meets his wife (but not any time soon). so you can't expect a guy to act like prince charming because they werent raised watching disney love stories and reading bridal magazines thinking of their future wives one day. plainly put, they don't give a f*** its about sex and convenience until they meet The One/Mrs Right/wifey

[Asker]

I don't want Prince Charming. He's fake. I just want some respect, and I want guys to be themselves. I give respect, but I don't tend to receive it. Which is fine until I am guilted into spending time with a guy who does not respect me. I can't ignore his feelings even if he doesn't respect me. Maybe I care too much but I can't seem to help that.

[georgiapeach7511]

Your answer is in your question. They're boys, not men. :)

[Asker]

I guess so. :) Thank you.

[Phoenix1991]

Well people are selfish, just to what to degree of selfishness and arrogance is the more important question.

You can look at it from almost any angle, from relationships falling out, to people in general to people you don't know around your neighborhood,city, campus,etc.

When I see people rushing for the train while a lady needs help getting her stroller with her baby in it down the stairs , I help out. I don't it other for the simple fact, she needs my help. So what's the problem? It can be girls and guys,women are more sympathetic then men, doesn't mean necessarily that's a bad thing, sympathy is just another word for compassion in my opinion.

So not all people are going to be sympathetic or compassionate, so you have to look out for yourself. IF people are helpful, thank them for their kindness , if not then accept the truth of reality, despite its tough and a hard pill to swallow, but that's life, you gotta just roll with the punches and play with the cards you were dealt with. I believe kindness is like a positive virus, it spreads, one simple act of kindness may persuade the other person to do the same to another person, and it keeps on spreading.

[Asker]

I definitely always try to be nice and caring. I think the same way you do. I help someone because they need it. It seems like the only place I see my kindness spreading is in my little cousin. She used to be very spoiled, and her parents didn't really teach her how to respect and be nice to others, and now she is usually nicer to people. I am really proud of her.

I always thank others for their kindness, they deserve it. Usually I can just roll with the punches, it's just getting punched

[Asker]

one-to-many times will knock you out, and you get frustrated and confused. But this questions and the answers have come to help me realize that there are more people than I thought who care. It's helped phenomenally and it makes me feel better knowing you're out there. :)

[Phoenix1991]

theres more people then you can imagine.

[Tempchecker]

I think what you will find is that people who are easily offended are primed to do so. They have been trained that it isn't their caring mental abilities that are sought after, but it is their skill at sports, physicality, making a lot of money, or knowledge of mechanics that is valued.

I, as a young man was not good at some of those before mentioned things, but had no problem getting dates because I really enjoy women. I learned what women want, both in and out of bed and it only makes sense to study something that is so much a basic part of the life you want to have.A woman seem to value a man who can fix her car AND let her know she is the most important thing in the world to him at the same time. Not that difficult really.

[gonyr]

Women-ahem-or should I call them girls can be selfish too. this isn't a one gender trait

how selfish is it for a girl to expect a guy to buy her jewelry and buy dinners and buy flowers all the time? not every girl expects that but a lot get pissed off when you dont.

as for feelings and stuff, you females are more emotional than we are, so we might not always understand how your feeling because we've never had those kind of feelings. doesn't mean we can't love or anything we just feel it differently than you do

[Asker]

Really? Girls get mad at you if you don't buy them things? I always offer to pay for my own things. Hello, we're in a recession. I don't judge a guy by what he buys me but how he treats me.

And I did mention that girls are selfish too.

As for females being more emotional, I don't think that's so much to do with what sex is more emotional than what kind of people. But like I said above, been seem to take the majority.

I don't get women getting so over-emotional either. It's a mystery to me too.

[Asker]

*men seem to take the majority

[gonyr]

I think its completely ridiculous that you'd think only men can be selfish

[Asker]

okay I don't know how you keep missing it but I'll put it in all capitols in hopes that you don't miss it this time- the third time I will have said this. I THINK WOMEN AND GIRLS ARE SELFISH TOO, LEARN TO READ EVERYTHING. I DO NOT THINK ONLY MEN ARE SELFISH ONLY THAT MORE MEN SEEM TO BE, AS I STATED IN MY QUESTION AND AGAIN IN MY LAST COMMENT TO YOUR ANSWER.

[gonyr]

and I'm saying I disagree, and that just as many selfish women exist than men. In fact, I think this question is pretty selfish. if you ask a question on here you should expect different POV's and its selfish to only expect the answers you want to hear. if you don't like someone elses question than don't read or answer it, plain and simple. if guys are selfish for complaining about stuff on this site than so are you for making a big deal about it

[Little-Hippie]

Often times selfishness reaps the greatest reward.

Selfless acts do not reap any reward. They are a reward.

And women respond so positively to selfish men, it's a bit difficult for us to behave otherwise.

A man thinks only of himself and his personal needs and desires, and of course, women see him as an alpha male and flock to him. To be a giver is to be a beta.

Honestly though, if women would f*ck a guy for being nice and selfless, we'd probably do it more often. But we aren't saints. And we see what works, so we do it.

Selfishness generally means more money to ourselves, more women, more fun really.

The real question is: How could men not be so selfish?

[Asker]

What kind of woman wants a selfish man? If I meet a selfish guy I don't respect him or look at him as an alpha. I think, "disgusting" and get as far away as possible. I look up to men who respect others and have real leader qualities. And that has nothing to do with money or a jerk attitude. If I see a guy helping out a woman I will go over and help too, and then tell him thankyou. And you know what, the selfish guys fade in my memory. The good ones stay there forever and are remembered.

[Little-Hippie]

Perhaps if women in general responded more positively to kindness and generosity in men, we would exhibit those traits more often.

Unfortunately, what women say they want is irrelevant to what women respond to.

And I feel as though if the fire of selfishness wasn't fueled so readily, you wouldn't have had to ask this question.

[Anonymous]

Funny how you tell us to man up, yet when you reward us with sex for being nice and all that to you, we're practically rolling over and playing dead for you to do that. Nice double standard!

Oh and by the way, girls are just as selfish! Trust me

[Asker]

Well I don't know what girl does that, I certainly don't, I just want guys to be themselves when they're around me but I guess that's too much to ask. For some, not all.

So it's not a double standard when it comes to me, and I stand by what I said.

And maybe you missed it- no problem- but I did say girls are selfish too.

I know that, and it's ridiculous.

I don't get them either.

I don't think it's okay at all for a girl/woman to use sex to make a man do what she wants. That's messed up.

[Opinion Owner]

Just sayin'

[Asker]

Yeah, I get it. If I ever did that I hope someone would point it out and jump my butt about it. That's wrong.

[Anonymous]

their world revolves around their penis. it's so ridiculous and pathetic.

[Asker]

lol It's true. I hate to say it but it is true. Not always, but usually.

[Anonymous]

i think everyone's selfish... EVERYONE.

[Asker]

True. To a point everyone is. Okay so rephrase. Why is everyone selfish so much?

[Opinion Owner]

human nature I think, it sucks.

[Asker]

Doesn't have to be that way does it?

[Opinion Owner]

think so.. because if you think about it, if someones being selfless, its only to get a better reputation, or to get into heaven..

[Asker]

I just can't believe that it must be that way.

[Phoenix52]

The economy sucks right now. There's 7 billion people on this planet, which is way too many. Resources are being consumed at an alarming rate. Which means ... we're all gonna fight each other for our own survival. Perhaps if there's a future where the population dips down to an all-time low, such as 3-4 billion, then things would be different. People would be happier because of the abundance.

[Opinion Owner]

maybe, but if you look at history people have always been selfish by nature.