Do women say the opposite of what they actually mean?

this is more for the experts but you can answer too

a girl becomes interested in a guy, and the guy becomes interested in the girl, because they supposedly "instantly connected" the guy asks the girl for her number, and right after he gets her real number, she says to call him. is this a test? I have heard that girls test guys to see if they can get the idea, or did she really mean to call her?

cause I wound up calling her twice (once to get her my number, and once to say hi), with no callback either time

This question has a poll!

  • Vote A Yes, women do test their men, saying the opposite of what they actually mean
  • Vote B No, women mean what they say, and she really does want him to call
feel free to explain, as well
btw, she just called, I didn't answer as to not make it seem desperate, she left a message..wanting to hang out

What's Your Opinion?


What Girls Said 36

What Guys Said 26

  • Expert Opinion on Video Expert: Tamsen-Fadal

  • Selected as most helpful

    In your case, she does seem interested, otherwise she would never call and you would probably not hear from her again...
    It depends on the girl though, and the situation. I'm really bad at not giving my number, still working on it, but I don't think I can really say "call me" seriously, like I mean it... If I'm interested, I might joke a bit "Okay, so now that you have my number, be sure to call, haha" or something along those lines but, if not, more likely the guy will say "Ok, I will call you!", and I'll just reply "sure, I'll be waiting", but in reality hoping he won't...

    To be honest, I think it's really easy to see the difference, in one you're giggling as an idiot, in the other you're smiling politely, yet guys never seem to pick it up. Maybe I should just be straightforward, but I got a bit scared of doing that after being insulted a couple of times. If anything, this apparently easy-going attitude only manages to attract the oblivious guys (being truly friendly isn't a good thing, guys probably think you're stupid or something) who are truly convinced they stand a chance with the super cool you, for some unknown reason.

    I'm sure other girls are fairing better (I hope so!), so they must have learned something that I didn't yet.

  • 22d

    Depends on the guy they are dating also depends on the mentality of the person

  • 32d

    Well we give our numbers out to a lot of people and most of the time yes we do say the oppisite of what we actually mean and in this case sounds like she likes you or she would never ever ever call you.

  • 38d

    Of course. We use reverse cycology a lot.

    • 18d

      Loooooooooooooooool!! almost fell off my chair

    • 27d

      Cycology? Is that the process of thinking whilst riding a bike?

  • 40d

    I think the problem is that SOME girls out there are playing this mind game saying no when they mean yes and MANY guys start to think that ALL girls say the opposite. This actually pisses me off sometimes because I speak my mind but I have had guys trying to tell me, "oh no, you didn't mean that. I know you mean blah blah blah." And I would be like, "No! I mean what I said. Why would I say that if I don't mean that?" That's driving me nuts.

  • 40d

    I usually say what I mean. Then again I don't speak for every woman.

  • sometimes, but you really never know with females. theyre emotional

    • 1mo

      The thing is, maybe that's because they don't UNDERSTAND, so they overreact and act out

  • I really think this can vary from person to person because I know people on both sides.

  • I hear its quite common

  • it depends on the person, but girls want to make sure you like them. People are so fake these days that a guy will hit on a girl at a bar with NO INTENTION of actually talking to her again. He may be playing it up in front of his guys or just trying for attention or looking for the easiest girl at the club. Some men actually have good intentions while some want a one night stand every night of the week. (I have guy friends who do this!) I have asked why men in a crowd of attractive girls who are 10s, but will approach the 2 or 3 to ask them out. Its because they want a quick lay for the night and the 2 or 3 might be more likely to give it to them while the 10 has more standards and may want a relationship. You may have just asked that type of girl for her number for the first time and not sure what to do.

    • while the 10 has more standards and may want a relationship

      are most of the 10s like this?

  • Personally I would say girls tell the truth but not with words... you have to read their body language... that always tells the truth.

  • girls. lie. sorry.

    • 27d

      Everyone lies whether it be silly white lies or full on lies, we all do.

    • 40d

      Not all is girls or lady's lie okay some of us were taught to tell the truth

    • If that's true then you aren't a woman.

  • Sometimeswe do other times not we will give you signs

    • 49d

      why would i want to read signs when people can talk, would rather cut my wang off that read signs

  • There is no 'all girls' but

    I say exactly what I mean when I mean it, listen the first time and act accordingly ;)

    Don't play games. If she does, forget about her.

    Flirting is not playing with someone's emotions by making them freak out that you may not really like them . Gameplaying is just *oh so many bad things I can't list them all *

  • sometimes girls say things as a way to not let out all their emotions, such as, "i'm fine" "no it's okay, you can go out" or "i don't mind"

    however, when a girl asks you to call it means that she really is anticipating the call - some girls just aren't good at getting back to you!

    i'm glad she ended up calling back :)

  • well if she asked you to call her and you did but then she never answered then I don't think she really meant it because if she did she would have answered

    hope this helps :)

  • OMG, if you like her talk to her.. she is interested. It is sometime hard to tell if a girl is testing a guy but if you do get confuss talk it over with a close friend who is a girl. But, most girls usually test a guy when they are in a relationship with that boy. And no it will not make you look desperate, but it will show her that you are interest in her. Now if she tells you to call her but she calls you first that a plus for you, but do take it slow no girl like to be rush

    -hope this help

  • So pretty much...

    You failed the test.

  • See? This is what's wrong with people these days. We've become so focused on "not getting hurt" that we've completely forgotten how to dust ourselves off and move on gracefully (and in a healthy manner) if we do!

    First, stop with the game playing. Forget about "looking desperate." If I was her, and you answered the phone, I wouldn't have thought you were desperate. I would've thought "Oh, I'm so glad he answered after I didn't those first two times he called, now we don't have to play this agonizing game of phone tag!" BUT because she's probably playing "the game" as well, I'm sure that's why SHE didn't answer the two times you called. Ridiculous. You like each other, just leave it at that. You don't have to play all these neurotic mind games to prove it! NO wonder the divorce rate is going up. People are nuts... I'm moving to Canada!

    Second, unfortunately yes. Women (well, I know I sometimes do) say the opposite of what they mean. I think ultimately we want to see how hard a guy will work to pry the truth out of us. Simple as that. Working hard wins our affections.

  • yeah in fact they do.I have a major crush on you and I hope you live a long and happy life...

    : |

    • Forger sarcasm font, I think we need a SINCERITY font on the internet for those rare times people aren't being sarcastic.

    • Sorry couldn't help being sarcastic. >.>

  • wellll...hummmm do you hang with her she's probably board

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  • 17d

    i guess it depends on the girl..

  • 22d

    kick women in their vaginas cause they are very painful at kick with leg

  • 44d

    60% of the time, they do this everytime

  • 49d

    woman give thier number to anyone bit quite often change thier mind

  • 2mo

    It's called fitness testing.

    Women test you, consciously and subconsciously, aka "shit tests." Such as, how many of you men have had a date call at the last minute, and try to change the location or time? Or she was late?

    We all have. And we all know that the best thing to do is refuse to change the time/location, and if a girl is more than 15 minutes late and hasn't called, leave.

  • I really think it depends on the woman.

    For one - I've heard it depends on the woman.

    For 2 - I've never heard that.

    For 3 - They do like nice guys, usually after 25 when the jerks have hurt them and they learn they can't change the "bad boy" that treated them like crap.

    For 4 - I don't think that's true.

    For 5 - Women like some immaturity (goofyness) but like responsibility too. Diversify and be reasonable.

    For 6 - Rarely they do, but most DO NOT care, so long as the man loves them and "does something". What they don't want is a bum that does nothing or is perpetual college. They like ambition, determination, and somebody with dreams & goals. They also like those who spend time with them, & help with children.

    For 7 - They do need men if they want children. Many women also want to feel protected by a man.

  • She's elusive. She's probably one of the "walking wounded" who's been hurt in past relationships, or can't get the guys she's really attracted to to talk to her so she subconsciously sabotages or avoids potential relationships in the present. your association with her will be one of utter frustration She's a mixed messages queen. Save yourself some disappointment and don't get involved with her.

  • Okay, a lot of women play games. But there are some out there who don't. So what you have to do is figure out which women are playing games and which aren't. It's pretty easy to figure out as long as you don't play games.

    Women play this game because they don't want to seem to desperate. They want to make a guy work for them. Whatever. That's high school crap. If a real woman tells you to call her, she means to call her. No remember that real people also have real lives and real jobs and real bills to pay, so she may not answer because she's doing stuff. But she'll call you back, which she did.

    Best thing to do is be honest and straight up with her and tell her you don't play games.

  • don't trust nobody


  • With somethings yes, others know. The only times I've had a problem with this is getting a woman to be honest about her intentions in a relationship. If I want something casual, she'll pretend that she's not looking for anything long term. On the other hand, if I'm look for something more serious, she will say and do things that both imply and directly state that she sees things as long term.

    I often get flamed by girls saying "it's just because girls don't want to seem casual or they'll be labeled as sluts" or "girls don't want to look like they're just crazy and desperate for marriage and babies." Also, I'll get a girl telling me: "she just doesn't want to hurt you." It would hurt me more to find out that a girl who I had been seriously dating for months, who also said things leading towards a long term relationship just saw me is a fling. It also hurts when I find that a girl wanted things to be more serious or progress more quickly than they did. It hurts, because then I have to make the painful decision of whether or not to stick with such a, usually, good and sweet person. If I tell them to slow down, that would severely hurt, but it would have been avoided if they were honest.

    So like I said, many girls will lie about some things but not others. It's not a black and white yes or no. But then again, maybe I've just been dating the wrong girls.

  • neither answer is right.. yes they do test but its not about what they said to you, its how you respond ..

    • btw, don't "not pick up to not seem desperate".. your screwing up your chances if you continue playing games like that . just be honest and keep everything in the open and clear

  • bahahaha... looking at the poll

    girls guys

    A 25 73

    B 47 15

    it's either because most of the girls are saying the opposite of what they mean or guys don't get girls. I'm going to go with girls say the opposite of what they mean.

  • In that case,I think she mean to call him for sure.That is a test of a credit.

  • yes . I agree with what you said .sometimes the girls saying the opposite of what they actually doesn't mean that she didn't love you . they just want to satisfied their needing .

  • There was a study one time where some psychologists video taped women and men flirting. In the study they found that women when they flirt, its hard to distinguish whether they truly like the guy or not. But when guys flirt with girls its easier to spot the differences. So yes, women do say the opposite of what they mean sometimes. Some girls just like the attention. And some girls, when they like a guy will just flat out be blunt about it and say they like the guy and even initiate the texting and phone calling. Yet other women will like guys but won't budge until the guy makes his move.

    Basically I would just drop her a flirty text telling her who you are. Sometimes, if its your first time calling a girl, she won't pick up the phone. It has everything to do with the whole surprise of getting a random phone call from a stranger. (Before she knows its you whose calling) and you don't know what situation she's in (she could be taking a dump, sleeping, or in a class or at work) so the best thing to do when getting a number is to wait a day or two then drop a flirty text reminding her who you are by mentioning something special in the initial conversation you shared with her, it will give her time to think of what to say and won't catch her in awkward situations. Of course after writing all this, I just realized your question was from a year ago so now I feel like dork for commenting on it. Sorry, hope things worked out with you two.

  • YES, they never say what they mean. Especially when they're PMSing!

  • this is mostly found in married women. Because they have nothing to lose & also if the hubby is a nut. Shy girls some times say no, but they mean it because they are afraid/shy. Under such case one should make repreated request and usually girls oblige to the request(say for kiss or intercourse).

  • Ya Women do test guys all the time

    some of them don't even realize it ,but its just a part of growing up,it becomes second nature to them.

    As far as girls saying opposite of what they mean is concerned:

    Women are emotional creatures.what they feel now,the next moment they may feel completely different.


    When a girl says "NO" the first time,its just that she is not emotionally charged up to say yes.

    "NO" means "NOT YET".You change her mood and try again ,u get a yes.Its quite funny though.

    When you ask her what kinda guy she likes?she'll reply a nice guy,who treats me like a princess ,...blah..blah...blah.

    but the very next day you can find her flirting with the jerk/badboy.

    this is because the nice guy isn't able to produce those emotional spikes that the jerk does.

    when you ask her why she fell for him?she'll be like "i donno,it just happened".

    women are not to blame for the same because its just hardwired into their DNA just like we are hardwired to have as many sexual partners as we can.

  • IMO: Girls say the opposite of what they really mean UNLESS you really want them to mean the opposite of what they say IN WHICH CASE they mean what they say. Clear? No, me neither.

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