Shy guys, would you shake a girl's hand a the end of a night if you liked her?

[Anonymous]

I went out recently with my crush, some of my friends and some of his friends, at the end of the night when he was saying bye he put his hand out to shake mine. I have told him I like him. Would you do this if you liked the girl back. SHY GUYS ONLY.

[Anonymous]

As a shy guy, I would probably be more likely to smile and wave goodbye...unless the girl initiated something else, like a hug.

But every guy is different. I could see how a more formal guy, who wasn't sure what to do, might end up shaking your hand instead.

The hand shake indicates uncertainty, like he didn't know if this was like a date...or if this was the first time he'd had a chance to be with you, he doesn't know what the next step is. It could even mean he's still processing everything.

It could, of course, also mean something negative, like he's not that comfortable stepping outside of the friendship territory with you, or doesn't see you that way.

But it certainly doesn't have to mean that. You have to look at other signs to see if he's telling you he's not comfortable being more than a friend, or if he likes you but he's a bit confused about how to proceed because he's shy.

[Asker]

What other signs would indicate that we are definitely just friends?

[Opinion Owner]

Why must you be a pessimist :P ... Look for signs that he sees you as more than friends. Do his eyes light up, does he smile, does he ask questions about you? Also, did he look sad to see you go?

Also, how long ago was it that you revealed your feelings to him? It it wasn't very long ago, the "he's still processing things" theory is highly plausible. Shy guys never expect that girls actually like them.

[Asker]

he just stares at me a lot from afar, well I least I think he does. But then sometimes he avoids my gaze. He gets really nervous talking to me so he doesn't really speak much since I told him I liked him. He used to come and talk to me everyday before I told him. I told him 8 months ago.

[Opinion Owner]

Most likely, he has some romantic interest in you then. But he may also be confused. It was probably easier to talk to you when he thought you only wanted to be friends. If he's been acting skiddish, then the handshake may actually be a step in a positive direction, because subconsciously it's an affirmative gesture. The question is what he's affirming.

Also, if he really was not interested in you at all, he'd act more like a mouse trying to avoid you than a curious cat.

[saysrae]

I asked a question on here recently about how to nicely reject a guy. The most common answer guys gave me is to say I had a boyfriend. So I'd say if he lies to you about having a girlfriend he probably isn't interested in you, or just doesn't want a relationship or something.

[Tinyplaces]

He must be incredibly shy.

Only time I shake a girl's hand is if it's the first time meeting each other. After that I go for a hug and peck on the cheek for greeting and goodbye. If I was really interested, Id probably hug them really tight and give them a nice wet one on the cheek, then look the other way after the hug so they don't see that my face is bright red. >.>

[latebloomer87]

Hmm shaking a girl's hand is pretty polite. Doesn't mean much tbh.

What is your definition of shy? How do you know if he is really shy? Esp. when you already told him you like him?

Why don't you just be more proactive about him? It's way easier for girls to make things happen imo. I don't think he's going to resist if you toned up your aggressiveness in your pursuit (unlike for guys the other way around - unless there was some serious blemish on your part, or he is super picky... which would be uncommon for guys imo).

[Ubetiburn]

I used to be shy, does that count?

It seems like he is unsure on modern dating etiquette, young and has a strong religious upbringing. He WAS trying to be a gentleman. You may have to make the first move or first 100. Give him a chance, talk to him. Lip lock him.

Have a great second date.

[Asker]

well it wasn't a date, it was just an outting with friends soooo. I'm trying to establish wether or not he likes me or I have been well and truly friend zone. I'm thinking the later at the mo.

[Ubetiburn]

I say this in most of my posts. "Say what you mean, mean what you say!" Ask him if he is interested. Also I too, prefer that she make the move of the hug - I then feel more comfortable and will try at least a chaste kiss on the lips or cheek. Some guys are just as unsure as you are, do not forget mentally girls emotions and wants mature slightly quicker then men If he is in the same age bracket as you, you just might have to make the first move - a strong one if I am reading right.

[Asker]

yeah see I'm 7 years older than him lol so I suppose that would play a BIG part in him being shy. I meant he gives me signs he likes me but there are signs he doesn't. But the signs he doesn't might actually be signs he does becasue he is shy if you get what I mean.

[DishLady]

Nice answer. :-)

[Asker]

haha :)

[doctorwhofan23]

I actually would do that, I know it does not show interest as much as a kiss or a hug, but that is what I would do. I would rather she hug first. I don't know if this helps if it does not or you want more info just post a comment on this answer and I shall respond.

[Asker]

its so hard to tell ih he likes me bac or not. There are so many mixed signals and mixed responses on here about his behavior . I can't make any definate moves with him when I don't know if he likes me.

[doctorwhofan23]

I don't know if this is what you want, but you need to give him time to open up. You like him but he might take time to open up. It is really hard to be not shy around girls we like.

[Asker]

yeah I know. I told him 8 months ago I liked him. I'm trying to be patient but I'm just looking into every slight thing he does and its driving me crazy. I'm just getting signals he doesn't like me but becasue he is so shy these might actually be signals he does like me. its so hard.

[doctorwhofan23]

What if you ask him?

[Asker]

hmmmmm but I already told him I liked him as more as a friend and he said I was nice but he had a girlfriend. I found out he doesn't though so I'm kinda stuck, becasue he gives me some signs he likes me but I can't ask him becasue as far as I'm concerned he has a girlfriend and that may have been a lie to let me down gently.

[doctorwhofan23]

hmm... I am not sure then, but I know I have never had a date ever, but I would show a girl I like her in small ways

[TheUglyOne]

That seems just weird. Shaking hands is like for a business meeting, not a date lol. He must be like ubershy with no confidence to only shake a hand. Most shy guys would give at least a hug.

[ryanontario]

he isn't clear either way , this hand shake could be friendly or could be more , there is no way of knowing for sure . he is leaving a lot of potential options here and only he knows . maybe his body language at time could explain this further

[Venidictos]

I'm incredibly shy,and most likely that's what I would do,but don't count on my answer that's just me.sorry if I didn't help much.

[Asker]

you would prob do it even if you liked her or you would do it becasue you only saw her as a friend?

[anon1111]

A smooth guy gives you a kiss on the cheek.

A shy guy gives you a hug.

Only a socially-retarded guy would shake your hand.

[Hehehaha]

I agree with this guy. Shaking hands is WAY to formal. He would have to be pretty up tight to do that.

[DishLady]

Sorry, but what do you mean by "a smooth guy"? (I need a little clarification. Thanks!)

[anon1111]

Maybe "smooth" was the wrong word to use, but a guy who has confidence in himself and likes you would give you a kiss on the cheek to make it clear his interest is more than friendly.

[kespethdude]

If I can get a date, I would actually want a hug, but a handshake is good too.

[Anonymous]

Hehe, I kind of did something like this and the girl that liked me just hugged me :) I liked that a lot actually because I was really nervous, that made me feel less nervous then I was!

[Asker]

So did you like her back then and just wasn't sure what to do?

[Opinion Owner]

I guess you can say that, I was just nervous, because even if your just friends a normal hug with a friend that is a girl is normal, I hug girls for greetings and goodbyes a lot, but they are friends or family. When its someone I like it make it harder to hug them just because of nerves and nervousness because you like them.

[Asker]

ok thanks

[Anonymous]

Would I shake her hand? Yeah I would.

[Asker]

really? even though you liked her as more than a friend?

[Opinion Owner]

I was very shy before, and this is something I could see myself doing, but I've always been a bit awkward anyways. Is this the first time you two go out together? Or have you not talked much? That's the only reason, besides that he's shy, that he'd shake hands.

[Asker]

we have known each other for 2 years. He used to come and talk to me every morning at work but once I told him I liked him he doesn't come and talk as much and has got really nervous around me. Yes its the first time we have seen each other out of work since I told him. He gives me eye contact from afar when he walks past but also since that night he's been avoiding my eye contact a bit too.

[Opinion Owner]

Gotcha.

Well from what you've said and the hand shake, I'd say the guy's only interested in being friends...

[Asker]

yeah that's what I thought. thanks

[DanTX]

I'd be more likely to give her a hug.