Five Things To Do Immediately After a Break-up

[BeeNee]

1. Get to the Gym

Post break-ups can be hard mentally and emotionally. Many people shut down, become removed from their lives, and just become, well, gross with it. Instead, channel your rage, your sorrow, your hate, your new found freedom into actually taking care of NUMBER 1 now, which is you. Hit the gym and burn some calories because afterwards, your body helps release feel good hormones that will help you get out of a slum faster than just moping around and eating tubs of ice cream.

2. Scrub your ex from your phone and social media

If you've ended it and things are really over (this time!), then make it so. Trying to desperately hang on to them, their pictures, waiting for them to text, call, or hit you up on twitter or Facebook is not really moving on. There is nothing wrong with cherishing the good times you had, but those will always be in your memories. You don't need constant daily reminders of what could have been or what you wasted your time on. Plus, it puts up a barrier for your future relationships if every picture you have is of you with some other guy or girl or you keep their number available and on the ready when you know where anything you do or say to them will end up--and that's not good.

3. Do take time to grieve a little

Not every relationship ends badly. You may have genuinely actually loved this person. That is not something you can "just get over" by flipping a switch. Take a little time by yourself without jumping into the next bed or relationship to really just decompress, mourn the loss of them, and let go. This will 100% help you in future relationships if you're not endlessly holding on to the baggage of your past because you haven't gone through or allowed yourself to go through this process. That being said, don't stay in this place forever. If it's been a while, and you still can't get over it, you may need to seek professional help.

4. Do reconnect with friends and family

Yup, though we all like to deny it, when we're in a relationship, we tend to become super involved with our boyfriend or girlfriend and leave everyone else hanging in the wind. The good thing is, friends and family, good ones anyway, are always willing to let you back in to the fold full time when you're down and out of that relationship. Being around friendly supportive positive people can really help get you to a good place again a little bit faster than not. Also, let them know the break-up is official and how you plan to proceed, i.e., don't be surprised if you don't see him or her at the Christmas party this year because we've broken up officially, so do me a favor and take him off your invite list.

5. Take up a new hobby or challenge

All that time you used to spend with your significant other, needs to now be channeled elsewhere. Now that you're free of them or no longer with them, fill your extra free time with something new to help take your mind off of them and hopefully meet new people who know nothing about your old relationship.

[Anonymous]

In other words:

Go to the gym to lose those pounds and try to build back up your SMV as many women and men get comfortable and get fat/ gain weight in a relationship. This should be especially done by women because women have harder time losing weight, metabolism slows down as you age, and a women's value decreases each year in the dating world and the amount of time she invested in one guy she can't get back that time.

Example - She dated a guy at 25 and she's now 30. She invested 5 years. This makes dating more difficult for her as the men she can get now aren't going to be the same men she could get in the past when she was younger and prettier.

2. Scrubbing social media and contact of the person is ideal as it helps forget about the person as if they were never there.

3. This is a good point. However, if it is really bad u should go see a psychiatrist. Women are more prone to becoming mentally/emotional scarred after one too many failed relationship resulting in them becoming more bitter/hardened and projecting their previous ex behaviour/actions onto their current lover. Hence, why studies done shows the number of sexual partners a woman has had correlates to her divorce.

4. I disagree with this because it actually comes across as being a parasite who only want people in their life when it is convenient to them. I know when people get into a relationship they forget about friend's and family then when they lose their SO they feel out of place. They then start latching onto people they could not give a fuck or bother to talk to for years to now come give them attention/love. Women are especially prone of doing this after a breakup. While men are less likely to do this, and tend to often stay in contact with friends/family even while having a girlfriend.

5. Taking a new hobby to get over your ex is bad as you are essentially just going back to the old system of social networking to find your next mate RIGHT after a breakup.

[BuchitaBuchys]

6. Stalk your exes social media and break your heart all over again :(

[PinkPandaBear180]

Sounds terrific lol

[BuchitaBuchys]

@PinkPandaBear180 lmao

[Tanuron]

Yeah I remember after my first ex I would walk to the cemetery in middle of the night and find comfort among the dead, was more comfort to be had than in that relationship, lol.

Think I just did that mainly, simply grief. Not really anyone to lean on, so leaned on myself. Or the tombstones, lol

[Anonymous]

Totally agree with all of these suggestions... I would also add therapy/counseling...

[BeeNee]

It's in there under #3

[Opinion Owner]

Ok, missed it.

[CubsterShura]

When I broke up with my ex, I used my anger on him to do more push-ups and martial art practice, especially because he told me girls don't look good with muscle. I'm glad I did it, I love my body now.

[BeeNee]

Good for you! I think a lot of women would have taken such negative comments to heart, but we don't realize, sometimes people are just jerks and say mean things in either the heat of the moment or the former, because they are just jerks, but the strong ones, take that negative energy and let it fuel them as you have done to be even better than they already knew they were. Kudos to you!

[CubsterShura]

Haha thanks! I still haven't really reached my ultimate "goal" yet but I'm still working in it. ^^; He only made me sexier for my boyfriend lol. XD

[BeeNee]

Ha, love it! Good for you and good luck on reaching your goal :)

[CubsterShura]

Thank you so much! You're really sweet. :)

[pavlove]

i don't know, i've always admired guys who can be friends with all their exes. i've never had that maturity before. this stuff might help deal with the emotion but also cutting someone out unless they harassed you seems childish.

[BeeNee]

It's not childish if that last person really hurt you? Why would it be healthy to keep people in your life who disrespect you, cheat on you, abuse you, or did otherwise horrible things to you. If that were just a friend, I would be giving the same advice, because it's much better to keep healthy loving supportive people in your life rather than those who drag you down. Now that withstanding, I don't think most people would scrub an ex whom they broke up on friendly terms with---but even that, can cause problems in future relationships depending on how comfortable new person is or isn't with that ex-relationship... totally not unheard of for exs to hook back up again... and then the cycle of this starts all over.

[pavlove]

i guess you could have specified it as after a BAD break up then

[BeeNee]

It actually doesn't matter whether it's a mutual or bad break-up. You're a grown up. You're not a child who "has to be" friends with everyone because a parent or teacher says so. You have more than the right to decide who you let in your life. You said you wish you had the maturity to be friends with an ex, but I don't really think maturity is the thing that applies. You broke up for a reason or several. You or they decided that your relationship can't work. You no longer want to be with this person, so what makes you sure it would work out as friends? They don't become someone new just because you broke up. Once you break up, your obligation to them ends and vice versa.

[BeeNee]

It then becomes your choice whether you want to continue on as friends or if you'd rather simply move on with your life. It's like a job. Once you quit, you don't linger around and keep coming back all the time and call in, do you? You don't because you move on and start doing new things at a new job or with different people. The place where things become childish is if you become that petty person trying to stick around and ruin their life or get in their business or try to break up whatever new thing they have going on. Walking away is not petty or childish, it's just coming to the realization that sometimes things don't work out, you live and learn, and then move on to new adventures with new people.

[pavlove]

dude, being able to be friends with someone you previously had a romantic relationship with is pretty badass in my book. running away is very childish. no, you don't owe them anything its not about them, its about you and your own level of maturity.

[BeeNee]

I'm not here to argue with how you proceed or don't proceed with relationships in your own life because you do as you please, correct? But speaking personally for myself I have exes who are friends, and those who are not. I also have friends in my life who have been there forever, and those who were once like that, and we're just not in the same place anymore. There is nothing in this world that says you need to be friends with every human being you meet or remain the greatest of friends with an ex. I think you're punishing yourself thinking you're somehow not mature enough because you no longer want friendship afterwards. All types of relationships in our lives come and go, sometimes for some, even with family. Some people are just meant to be in your life for a season and to help you learn and grow, but that's it.

[pavlove]

Lol again if it's a good breakup I think friends is admirable sounds like you just got out of a bitter one so I'm a let you to it

[BeeNee]

Actually quite the opposite. I luckily haven't had to break up with anyone or been broken up with in over a year. :) And I do agree, it is admirable to remain friends. I'm living proof, but also not a huge deal if you want to move on or can't or won't because of circumstance, life, the weather, lol, whatever.

[10dsw]

6. Hook up with new girls

[kitty71]

not necessarily. You need to be with yourself a while before jumping to another hook up

[10dsw]

@kitty71 I don't