How to get over someone who is not good for you

[oxoxo-lover]

Sometimes we fall hard for a people who sometimes may not be for us. These people can be dating someone else, not into you or just unhealthy for us. It sucks I know. I use to think that no matter what I did I couldn't control or change my emotions. But when this love hurts or just brings you down trust me its easier to move on. here's a few steps to stop your heart from aching.

1. First step to this whole thing is avoid all contact. Weather its Twitter, Facebook, texts or in person. Put a stop to all contact. Block them, unfriend them and dont answer. Do whatever you need to do. If you simply can't avoid this person limit the contact. If you see this person the majority of the time take a different way or simply ignore their exsistance. (they don't deserve you anyway)

2. Express your emotions. Cry it out as much as you need. Listen to sad songs all you want. Talk to your friends about it. Just get all the feelings out of the system.

3. Understand why this could never work. Dont justify this person or keep giving them the attention. There must be reasons why you two just can not be. Consider all the bad & harm this person had done to you. Stop thinking or missing the good memories and realize that there is also bad memories.

4. Distract yourself. Be active and stop yourself from thinking. Go to the gym, go out with friends, volunteer or spend time with family. Do all the things you always wanted to do. Your world must not revolve around this peron. Learn to love yourself again. Its the best thing you can do.

5. After some time. Open up and look around for new people in new places. Go ahead meet new people and discover what others have to offer. Know that you can do better.

Repeat this process & before you know it you will be so over this person & ready to breathe once again.

[JamesR]

Remember this as an opportunity to learn more about yourself and what you are doing that attracts you to people that are not right for you or attracting them to you. Means you are going to need to do some self analysis and soul searching. What led me to that person? What is it I am really looking for and needing from someone? What do I need as a person? Are my expectations of others realistic?

Also realize it takes time to know someone in spite of the best of intentions or how hot they look at the beginning. So you need to take time with that person step by step and let them be themselves. Don't try and fix or change them because that never works.

If its not right let that person know but in as nice a way as possible. Don't trash them or be negative. If you do this right you still may have a friend out of this situation.

Then learn from your mistakes have a new game plan and go meet someone new and enjoy yourself with them and let them be themselves. Take it a step at a time.

Let me know what you think. This is the result of experience in the real world of dating, relationships, and a marriage.

[nikiroxs]

I know this may be hard to believe, sometimes by braking off all contact or even going to the extension of ignoring them, people create imaginary or ideal beliefs on what they person is, making them like that person even more. In the most extremist example that I can think of, a girl falls for a "bad boy"( player type reputation) who may have played with her emotions or possibly liked her, if she drops all contact, she is going to always picture herself with him or possible scenarios/conversations where he actually liked her-not that she wants to. This could cause more stress or more obsession over him. The better solution isn't to drop all contact, it would be to find faults in him/her. This way its easier to convince your self that he/she isn't good for u, rather than create imaginations that aren't real.

[oxoxo-lover]

I see your point because it is something that can happen however i think it depends on the person. You have to be strong enough to stop yourself from as you said creating situation & imagining things. You have to truly want to forget this person. I think some girls tend to be weaker at this. If you are create situations in your head and obsess over this person then you are the one stopping yourself from forgetting the person.

As I mentioned there is a part where you have to hit reality in the process and "understand why things didn't work." Kind of what you said to find their faults. Back to the imagination I also said you need to distract yourself (to prevent all feelings and confusion like that from happening.) I wrote this based on several articles I've come across and what I felt was right.

[nikiroxs]

i wish it was only that simple, distract yourself and forget... and im glad u did a take on this, but in my opinion the human mind is soo much more complicated speaking from experience and friend's expierences. Also its not just females, ik male friends who do the same by creating their own imaginations on this person even when they want to move on. Its kind of like if uve ever tried meditating its very hard to think of nothing for even 5 mins or avoid what u are thinking of ( aka the guy in normal situations)... but nice take

[Jaideee]

I know completely about getting over someone who isn't good for you.. Iv'e just experienced myself a first love with a guy who was way too bad for me. He smokes and does drugs, was disrespectful, and my parents disliked him strongly. He had the "bad boy" image. Which a lot of girls are attracted to. I thought he was the one for me and he wouldn't hurt me. But that was completely untrue. I'm telling you this right now for your protection, get rid of him. Although you might "love" this guy, there will be more guys entering and leaving your life. You are better than that. Don't let one guy who is leading you to bad decisions take control over you. The best way to help yourself, is to think of all the things he does that you don't like. Like maybe he does drugs or he hits women. Whatever the reasons are, tell yourself them over and over. Because if you stay with him, in the future you are going to end up the exact same way. You could be in jail, or wind up dead. Having this person in your life is going to do nothing but bring you bad things. They ruin your reputation and give u a bad image. If you let things go further, things will get worse. So better yourself, and get rid of this guy.

[yellowmamba024]

It only works if girls stop repeating these types of mistakes.

[oxoxo-lover]

thanks for sharing ! #respect

[Jaideee]

yeah i agree

[dpeguero]

I CAN PROMISE YOU THIS WILL WORK. This is call whiteout technique.

Imagine the image that you see when you think of that image that causes you to miss him. Make that image and see it in your minds eye and then imagine that if you squeeze your thumb and index finger together that image will gradually turn white until it turns completely white.
When you do the first time it;ll be hard but do it again and again and faster and faster and then you'll notice that those emotions won't be as intense. Let it become completely white in less than two seconds and then do it faster.
This technique will erase those emotions from tthose images and itll become hard to think about that person because your mind has erased those memories.

The imagination is the key to the mind and this technique has worked for me to get over my ex if you read my previous questions. :)

I hope this helps as it has helped me.

[Frost_Byte]

This sounds rather satanic...

[dpeguero]

your just using your imagination dude. No satanic. No outside rituals. just your mind. Your using what god gave you.

[legalboxers]

For me:

#1: she "unfriended" me because she didn't need the drama. She is a drama whore herself (and a bit racist too)

#2: I only got myself, people think like that person, so no one can help me only myself

#3 It could have, she didn't want to put in the effort, and she lied about many things, so I guess right there, her being a liar would be a major red flag

#4. Im always working and volunteering, so its out of my head, what irks me the most is I asked her out 11 years ago to come to Times Square with me for New Years..

#5.. Hearts broken and destroyed..

---
You can never completely get over them, you just move on and hope someone is better than them, and can put your pieces back together

[confusedone14]

The worst thing is when you work with someone, once they have left the office and you are no looking working in the same office, it is so easy to get over them, it really is the old adage "out of mind-out of sight"

[cdnSpartan]

#1 is what got me this time around. I never used to be friends with x's and this is why... it just messes with your head. Good post!

[CCC89]

Breaking all contact is the only way. If you know they're not good for you, why put yourself through that pain. End all contact

[linkywinky]

tooooooo bad its easier said than done! appreciate the effort in this take, though.

[Xwtxx]

Just focus on yourself and get the person out of your mind.

[Lonelywolf21]

Stil it can be hard, especially for the boys since they never talks about it around family or friends.

[Mysterio421]

You have to use whether, not weather lol. I guess oxoxo-lover is not good for me XD

[oxoxo-lover]

typos..

[nikixcx]

Distraction doesn't hind your thoughts, you never get away from them, In bed is the worst, its the hardest thing ever is trying to forget.

[art84]

Just breaking all contact seens to work out.

[cdnSpartan]

Agreed.

[Findesemana]

good points...

[oxoxo-lover]

thnks i tried

[sexymax]

your great

[Anonymous]

You dont need to.

[Anonymous]

Mind over matter