What if there's no closure?

As some of you may have seen on the questions I posted, I expressed concern over the possibility of not getting my things back from my ex. That worry was refuted with a simple text to him, asking when a good time would be to swap stuff, and where to be ready with his hoodie. He told me Gamehounds at around 12:30.

For moral support, my brother drove me over and parked. My ex came out and we went over to his Jeep. We made a little bit of small talk, as in, "Sorry it took longer, my brother's hungover," "oh, I was too earlier." "Haha."

I handed him his hoodie, he handed me my bag. "Thank you," I stated. I walked back over to my brother's Dodge.

Processing this, I entertained the lack of closure that was present in our breakup. Just him having flipped out on me over text, switching out our stuff, and that being that. I think what bothered me most was that he was docile during the swap, and while not expecting one, I thought he'd at least give me a hug. But it was basic, and that's better than nothing at all.

I think what I was hoping for, that being a hug or something of the sort, would've been concrete evidence of closure. Going off of that, I learned something this Valentine's Day-a very ironic thing to learn on such a day. Sometimes when there isn't official closure in a breakup, find the closure in what happened. Having my things back was closure, as was not having his hoodie. But that allows me the chance to have that bond with someone new, and wear his hoodie, and stash my bag under his bed when I spend the night. There was closure in foolishly jumping into our relationship, wonderg how it'd turn out, and seeing that it turned out how it did, versus never having known at all. What closure really consists of is confirmation that you have the freedom to move on.

What if there's no closure?


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  • Great take! I think sometimes feeling like we need closure is the very thing that keeps us on an emotional hangup hindering us from moving on. Not everyone is mature enough to give someone closure leaving the other to find closure themselves. I thought that I needed closure from my last relationship but I realized what I really wanted was an explanation or to be able to express how I felt after finding out a lot of screwed up things after the break up but then I realized that would just ignite something that was dead and that it was best to just leave it alone and find inner peace with what I learned through everything and that is what closure is to me now - just acknowledging that its over, picking yourself up and letting go of bad feelings.

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  • Nice take. I hate when people just break up with you out of the blue and don't provide with any closure that happened to me once. I learned that sometimes you just have except what is and what isn't. Or just make up your on closure and pick up the pieces and just move on. I think getting closure though from a break up is important. So you can what went wrong and what went right and learn from it. I hate it when people end a relationship with no closure it makes it seem like maybe it was your fault all along. But sometimes you just have to let things go and just move on.

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