The Realest Guide to Getting Over a Breakup

[lolalovesvedette]

Nothing hurts more than a broken heart. Give this a read and it could inspire you.

There Is No Shame In Loving Too Much

You put your heart on the line. You were there willing to be there for them. But they let YOU down. When you hear stories of people sacrificing themselves for love, you think of how amazing THEY are, not the person they loved. You deserve to be PROUD of your ability to love. Your love could move mountains and change the world. Their selfishness is what causes pain and regret. Wear your wounds like battle scars not damaged goods.

Express Yourself

Find a way to release your feelings in a healthy, positive way. Do not allow it to inflict on anyone else's life but improve their perspective. There is a reason most of the best music/art/writing comes from heartbreak. This is a time for you to become everything you've ever wanted to be. And that's fucking amazing.

Don't Rebound/Run Away

If there is one thing I regret more than anything, its sleeping around to get over my exes. Trying to fill a void is repression. It will take you years to get over real love if all you do is have casual flings and it will emotionally damage you. Face your pain and all your fears. It will hurt like a motherfucker. But once you've faced that pain, you'll be surprised that you won't be scared to fall in love again cause you know you got through it once already.

Don't Stay Friends

If they can be cruel to enough to break promises then they are not friendship material. You still want them in your life because you still love them at least a bit. They want you in their life because they need you but don't love you. They need you because of guilt, regret and self-pity. Not love or friendship. Do whatever it takes to get as far away from them as you can.

What You Feel Right Now is Reality Not What You Felt in The Past

This anger, pain, sadness and regret is what this relationship gives you now and will always give you. Remember the good times for your own happiness so you can live a life that you feel was worth it. But that person can no longer offer you that happiness. His/Her love was CONDITIONAL.

People Like Me Are Waiting for Your Kind of Love

You aren't ready for a new relationship, trust me. But when you are... know that there are attractive, magnetic and irresistable people here to offer you the best kind of love like you dreamed of having. Tears don't make you ugly but we've been through that pain too, so we recognise beauty when we see it. People like you GLOW. You don't even see it and your ex can't deny you THAT SHIT.

There's more I could say. But for now, it's important that you figure out the rest yourself. It will feel better than that love ever felt.

[Hannah591]

The first paragraph really got to me, in a good way. It was truly spot on. I never thought about being proud of how well and much I love, being fearless in doing so despite previous heart break. It really turns it into a positive and has changed my view on it now.
I love hard but I know my ex will eventually regret losing someone who supported and loved him as much as I did. He knew there was something special about me; I was that person who glowed and I thought he did but obviously not. I guess my search for another soul mate continues.
This was really helpful and greatly written. Thank-you. I hope you write more!

[Octavion]

I agree with most of this except for the music. Part I feel like the songs that people make after break ups are their worst songs. Eminem turned into the biggest bitch after that one chick dumped him and his music 180'd because of it. I never liked him to begin with but he seriously got worse.
But that's just me. I like music that doesn't have love involved at all in.

[lolalovesvedette]

I got agree with what you are saying, and I feel rap/hip hop that disrespects women is just a sign of those artist's insecurities when it comes to relationships.
Can't say I'm into Eminem really, but he was def better when he was rapping about other issues.
But what I'm saying is artists that DIDN'T sing about the break up and just focused all their energy into making music. Its more than you'd think.

[rthomas43]

I don't like how the person that ended things is automatically labeled selfish and cast in a bad light.

Everything you said about getting over heartbreak is spot on though.

[lolalovesvedette]

I never mentioned who ended things. Considering no one has ever broken up with me, it's interesting you'd think that!
You can still end a relationship whilst loving someone for whatever reason. The selfishness is when they can't see past their own feelings and completely disregard you. Or see you as an evil witch, when in fact your heart is breaking too.

Thank you! :)

[lolalovesvedette]

It takes two! Doesn't matter who ends it when it's serious..

[RationalLioness]

I think that you can stay friend if they weren't malicious or cheating though it would be hard and cause some people to build up false hope. Love everything else.

[lolalovesvedette]

I'd like to know how you do that!! I've found it impossible when you truly loved that person.

[RationalLioness]

Ooh. I wasn't in love... hahaha. I can see how it would be difficult once you were.

[lolalovesvedette]

Ahh makes sense with the username RationalLioness ;) haha
ah, love never dies, just kinda hides. It's odd!

[ComDom]

Heartbreak sucks but good can come from it. I still don't get why girls sleep around after a breakup.

[dutchpride92]

Uhh... GIRLS sleep around after a breakup? Guys sleep around much more than girls do in general. I don't think guys and girls should be equal in everything, but sexually if a girl is held to a high standard so should a guy. I wouldn't wanna touch a guy that had more than 7 sexual partners in his life. But I guess, to answer your question: SOME girls might sleep around after a breakup to feel more like 'in control' of the situation, or to feel loved/wanted/beautiful.

[ComDom]

@dutchpride92 I've actually observed girls somewhat sleeping around in general. Maybe guys do sleep around more than girls. I don't know for sure. I do know that I've seen information that males and females sleep around in similar numbers. BUT females tend to be less honest about it because of social stigma.

Understandable. There is a variance for most people on how many sexual partners people want their mates to have. I appreciate your information. Do you think they immediately get into new relationships after a breakup for similar reasons?

[lolalovesvedette]

@dutchpride92 Really? You'd judge a guy by their sexual history? Some guys are taught to be this way even by their fathers. People's sexuality isn't an exact reflection of who they are. It is a TINY part of them.

What you are saying is extremely false and all relative to the individual. If somewhere were to ask me, I would lie because of social stigma unless I was close to the person that asked.
I know that MOST girls sleep around after a break up, because I give people the security to be themselves with me and make it obvious that I don't judge. I've never met a woman that hasn't! Then again, I live in a big city.
You clearly see the world differently and say things which make the people around you lie out of fear that you'll critique them.

[ComDom]

@lolalovesvedette Interesting. I'm thinking I've been too judgmental without trying to understand. Why do you feel girls sleep around after heartbreak? Or rather what is going through their minds? Is it anger, sadness, emptiness, or? Also is there a goal with sleeping around or do they feel they just can't control themselves?

[dutchpride92]

@Take Owner Well I was a virgin when I married my husband, I didn't want to marry a guy who had already been with God knows how many people. I don't judge people's life choices but when it comes to choosing a partner, yes I have certain standards. Just like some guys want a virgin, I wanted someone who still regarded sexuality as something to share between two people who love eachother. Think about it, guys want girls to be 'good' girls, so if you have been with a low number of partners as a girl what's wrong in wanting a guy who hasn't slept with many women as well? And most girls I know well have been totally honest with me in saying they didn't sleep around after a break-up but did start to serial date. People don't have to lie to me, I won't judge their choices and I'll be understanding, but is it that wrong that as a virgin I didn't want to marry a guy who had many sexual partners?

[dutchpride92]

@lolalovesvedette

[Nooran]

Especially staying friends. It doesn't make sense that he wants to stay friends. It makes you feel confused and worse.

[SavageNick87]

This is pretty deep. I have experienced heartache and this is pretty amazing. Well done Miss.

[lolalovesvedette]

Thank you so much :) means a lot x

[Joey7993]

That hit me hard, but in all the right places. Thank you :)

[lolalovesvedette]

Happy to hear that! :) thank you for reading

[KingDeAce]

You Miss have a great insight of this topic and Brilliant is all I can say

[OrdinaryGentleman]

You...*Drops mic, walks off stage* Your Welcome. This is one of the best posts i have seen in a while

[Sweetiepie2120]

This is awesome... thanks for this. :)

[This_guy_here]

Problem here is... "Realest" is not even a word...

[lolalovesvedette]

Its used a lot in modern day vocabulary and will probably become an official word soon as language is not set in stone.

[I_am_repulsive]

Time well spent. Awesome :)

[apexalpha]

was this written generally or more towards girls?

[lolalovesvedette]

Its from my experience, but everything I mention isn't really gender related.
Depression is so high in males because men are raised to oppress their emotions and do what they feel is right rather than what is healthy. So in a way, this is aimed more at men than it is women!
Especially things like sleeping around and not expressing themselves.

[apexalpha]

I think the stereotype of men bottling up their emotions is false just because they dont express themselves openly like girls for everyone to see, doesn't meant the dont do it, take the gym or punching bag or video games I could go on its they got different outlets to vent by.

[lolalovesvedette]

You are stereotyping girls as you speak. I'm talking about male depression/suicide rates which IS an issue. I'm not stereotyping. Going to the gym, punching bag and video games are not a healthy alternative in the long run.
You are getting out your frustration and distracting yourself... Not expressing yourself and making real connections.

[Nathand]

visit a few strip clubs.

[moxygirl11]

Sounds about right

[YourFutureEx]

Yeah it was good.

[Anonymous]

i'd never breakup with u baby