Mending a Broken Heart

I know how it feels. Getting over your heartbreak is so personal, and not everyone feels exactly the same way when they experience the loss of having someone in their life. Your mood-swings can go from sadness to anger within seconds, and sometimes you don’t know which way is up or down when trying to sort out your feelings.

This is specifically meant for those who are suffering through a break-up, as grieving a loved one as a result of death can be very different, and likely will be acknowledged with another myTake some time. For now, let’s look at mending a broken heart after one or both of you have decided that it’s over.

Auntie Ozanne’s Guide to Mending a Broken Heart

You have not broken up with you – so remember that whatever happens, you need to look after yourself, remember to get proper sleep and eat a proper meal so that you can start physically feeling stronger. A broken heart is taxing on your whole body starting with your mind, and that can lead to physical stress. Make a cup of tea with honey, treat yourself to some ice-cream, and take a hot bath. Being on the mend means looking after yourself in similar ways you would baby yourself if you are sick.

Mending a Broken Heart

1. Don’t shut out friends and family. They are only trying to help if they call or text you to find out how you’re doing. Often times, an irritating reminder of the person who you’re trying to get over will surface with an “are you okay” text, but shutting out friends and family is not the answer. Instead, tell them what you need or don't need. If you request them to change the subject and take your mind off of things – convey that message clearly so they know. Friends want to see you back to your old self too, and will not know this is what you want unless you ask.

2. Detox this person from your life. It really is a day-by-day type of healing, and each day you should take at least one step of removing the person who you are getting over. If each day that means removing their number from your phone, removing from social media, then blocking from social media, deleting old pictures – then do it. Every time you see a reminder, all the work you’re putting in to trying to get over someone will set you back. The stronger you will become with each day they become further removed from your life.

3. Do not contact them. Taking an aggressive stand to get over someone doesn’t include the occasional “I-just-want-to-say-goodbye (again)” messages. What will this really accomplish? If someone has removed you from their life, hearing from you yet again can be exasperating. They already said their goodbyes, and having a little reminder every so often that you’re out there will just become irritating. Remember that in some cases, people might even find it harassing, and this can lead to trouble. The last thing you need is a police file created because you simply couldn’t resist always making yourself available to talk to. If someone has made it clear to leave them alone, you must do as they ask to save yourself such unnecessary trouble.

4. Know that they did you a favour. I have always viewed heartbreaks as blessings in disguise. Be thankful that this person busted up your heart now instead of after twenty years of marriage. Consider that the hurtful things you just went through could have also been lied about – and you could have been in a loveless relationship had it not ended. You really don’t deserve that. You should know deep down that though it hurts now, it really is for the best long term.

5. Exes are exes for a reason. I love that this very sentence that I brought to GaG a year ago has actually been quoted back to other people since I’ve said it. :) When you or someone else ends a relationship, there is never anything good about a breakup to warrant why you should get back together to go through it all again. Unless you are both in for some counselling, telling yourself that this is temporary is going to prolong the hurt you are going through. If someone made it clear that their behaviour is just how they are or they don’t have any reason to change, then you should consider these feelings that you’re going through to be an indicator of what you might go through for the rest of your life.

6. There are other fish in the sea. Of course, I hear it all the time, “They were the one.” They were the only person who understood, who boosted confidence, and all good things that we expect to find when we’re in love. To put all that stock in to one person is foolish, and during your heartbreak, consider everyone who has loved, lost, and loved again. Believe it or not, there is someone out there who can replace the person who has just hurt you, and make you realize that along with all the good things to come, the hurtful times will also be diminished (though being realistic, they never really will be eliminated). Grieve the person you’ve lost, but don’t rule out the next possible great relationship you were meant to have after they’re gone.

You’re not alone, and you’ll be fine. I promise. :)


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Ozanne is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah nice take. I do the same pretty much; distract myself by whatever means necessary and that includes going to the gym and meet new people, hanging out with my friends more often, and trying new activities or doing old activities I enjoy with some of my buddies. At the end of the day, I win a little more towards being whole again.

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    • All of those are good examples to keep busy and heal the mind. :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • I love it. :) I was in an abusive relationship with a guy who I thought was so nice. He turned out to be manipulative and decisive. He called me names and degraded me. I thought it was the end of the world, and I became suicidal. These are the steps I took to overcome the abuse.

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Join the discussion

What Guys Said 9

  • I would give anything in the world to have heartbreak. It means you lost something good. Heartbreak implies a heart that was broken. Some hearts are not loved at all and you begin to lose your heart forever. It gets to a point where there is nothing to break. Nobody on earth can ever break my heart except me.

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  • Auntie Ozanne enlightened us once again :D
    Good take!

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  • As a guy the best thing is to hang on to my logical thinking and not get too carried away by emotions. This seems like an article written mostly for women. Did not even read completely.

    From my perspective a broken heart means just letting your emotions getting out of control instead of using your head to keep your chill.

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  • It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.

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  • Scrap all that. Relax , listen to Al green mend a broken heart. And life your life!

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  • Nice take😍

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  • Good sharing.

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  • But I don't want to feel better

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  • You're clearly here to hear people agree with your take. But anyhow, I disagree with almost all of it.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I love this myTake :)

    Hopefully a lot of users who read this will benefit from it. Sometimes heartbreak feels like it will last forever but it never does. It just takes time to move on and fully heal.

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    • Thanks, Honey, and yes, I know. I just talked to a guy friend going through this horrible heartbreak right now, and when I talked to him, of course *his* situation is different, and *she* was the only one, and he'll just *never* love again. It made me want to write this myTake because everyone always feels like their situation is the worst-ever. ALL heartbreaks are awful. But no heartbreak is so bad that the person will not eventually see in time that it was a learning experience, and a way to end one chapter in their lives so they can move on to the next (better) one.

    • Show All
    • My heart break is taking TOOO long to pass. :|

    • @Hannah591 Aw, I'm sorry :/ I hope it gets better soon!

  • Nice take!

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  • NICE... but what happens if you still want them back after all of that?

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