My ex-girlfriend left me 6 months ago, still trying to move on but she keeps contacting me...?
My ex-girlfriend of two and a half years left me approximately 6 months She said that she did not love me anymore. I didn’t blame her, people fa been on the no contact rule for 6 months now, and while I promise you t contacts me at least once a week on instant messenger to talk about what sees me as her dad, and while I have gone to see her and have really no conversed with my ex in person aside from “I’m here to see the baby, I’m to drop her off” since we split up, I still miss her. I have to admit that I st very much in love with her.
I really have been trying to move on. I’m seeing this great girl who loves me and treats me great, but I cannot stop pushing her away. It’s as if I do no want to move on. I feel lost. I keep thinking that my ex will come back to me and another six months, a year, two years… in my heart I am hoping suppose… However, my brain keeps telling me it’s over; to move on. And I am trying, but I just can’t do it; at least not while she is contacting me so often. even thought to stop seeing the baby, who I adore and who adores me knowing that it would be just another heartbreak for me. I don’t know what t do. It is extremely unfair to the wonderful girl I am currently seeing, but I jus can’t seem to move on. I am so confused and in need of help. I’m in love with someone who left me because she said she was not in love with me. I am seeing someone who is in love with me, but who I can’t fall in love with because my heart belongs to someone else and there seems to be nothing that I can do about it… help…
What's Your Opinion?
Most Helpful Opinion
yes some guys always think of their ex girlfriends and not focus on the girl they're with. it happened to me also. it was a very painful experience for me since I had gotten out of a relationship with a horrible guy for a first boyfriend. I am totally traumatized well anyway. my advice to you is honestly end it with the girl you're with. it's not fair to her to be with someone who isn't into her. and I feel that you just want some comfort form this relationship or something to keep your mind busy. that's not how it's gonna happen. I'm sorry. you have to think if you were your current girlfriend, would you be p*ssed? I honestly would be. if I were her and devoting so much time into this and you're thinking about your ex and you're still in love with your ex, well, you get the idea? yep.
you'll hurt the current girl less if you break up with her and let her free to find someone more suited to her and obviously be polite about it and explain. but if you stay with her and don't love her, that's even harsher.
What Girls Said 2
I think you need to get that dirt off your shoulder, and stop wearing your heart on your sleeve. Women rarely leave relationships for someone they have children with. The only speculation I can come up with is, your ex has already moved on to someone else. Reality Check! She is living her life...while your entire world is on PAUSE! Get over the fantasies of reconciliation. If its meant to be, then let fate decide this. In the meantime, I think you need to tell your current G/F that you are not emotionally available right now, and that you would like to see other people. I think you're not emotionally ready to be in a committed relationship right now. Be single , play the field, and spend a little time by yourself to re-evaluate your past relationships, and do some soul searching.
You have a child with your ex girlfriend which also binds you to her, yet you are in love with a girl you met in attempt to move on. It's a difficult situation and it's not going to be easy.
It's as though you are on a track, the only way you can go is forward, but memories and commitments are pulling you back (You are a father so that is a lifetime commitment) but life and time simply does not move backwards. You are being pushed forwards with feelings that you cannot let go of. You are trying, but perhaps not in the right way for yourself, to accept it.
Perhaps the lady you are with now, is a relationship you started to try and move on from your previous relationship, like a rebound. That's why you still think of your ex girlfriend, you don't seriously 'love' this woman, but she is all you have to take your mind away from your ex. I agree that this is unfair to her, and if you do not fix this, your relationship with her will break down later on. You should talk to her about it, she is here for you now and she should be able to understand what you are going through.
You need to work on the relationship you have now and keep looking ahead, having someone is better than not having anyone at all to be there for you, as there is nothing you can do about the situation with your ex if she clearly does not want anything and it's over.
It's very hard and I know it, because your mind will be thinking logically to move on, but your emotions will not. The key is to train your mind to lead your emotions. Don't let your emotions rule your head, because you will never find peace within yourself. Think logically and realistically, how you feel and how you want to feel at the present moment and future, not the past because the past is gone.
Think to yourself: Can I accept living with my new relationship but feeling the same every day? will these thoughts make my life worse or do they comfort me?
If your answer is no, then you need to decide the few options you have:
- Lose current relationship before things break down later and try to get back with ex girlfriend and your child.
- Lose current relationship and just move on alone, but being able to see your child and ex.
- Work on current relationship and see your ex and child occasionally.
I hope I've helped somehow, it's a difficult situation but trying to simplify it.
I wish you all the best.
What Guys Said 1
You just need to talk to your ex girlfriend a little about this. If she is contacting you, she probably wants to say sorry in some way, just not directly, and if she's trying to do that, she probably wants to give it another chance, but doesn't want to say it to you directly, for fear of you saying forget it and being rejected.