My ex unblocked me on Facebook last night. Considering how things ended is this odd?

[Anonymous]

Without going into great detail, my ex and I broke up back in May. For about two months I tried to fix things with her. Her behavior was so erratic that I simply felt like I was beating my head against a brickwall.

Last night I was talking with a friend when I noticed a number of my photos with my ex gf had popped back up on my timeline.

Our last communication was back on Aug 23rd when I asked her why her behavior was all over the place. Also, I asked for my stuff back that have been at her APT since May [Macbook charger, Apple TV, Sunglasses & miscellaneous clothes]. The first thing she texted me was "What is your address? I'll send you your stuff and please don't contact me again". She then sent me a message saying "I have forgiven you over the months. But, I cannot forget what you did to me. It took me to step back to realize how disrespected I felt. I hope you find what you are looking for in life. I have no ill will towards you. I will mail you your stuff this week."

She has still not mailed me my items to this day.

[Danni]

It seems to me she have forgiven you or are taking the steps towards forgiveness. you had been a huge chunk in her life and doesn't want to let go of this fact. When angry, we act irrationally and hasty. Her adding you back was simply a step for her in her grieving period; which there are many steps to this and everyone is different. She probably hasn't mailed your things back because you are not her first priority, has other things going on or simply maybe wants to see if there is any hope left cause deep down no one wants to break up and lose the love, but maybe it seemed fit for her at that time. I hope this helps.

[Asker]

I must say that this is one of the best GAG responses I've seen in awhile. With that being said, I just think that her behavior over the past few months has been erratic at best. She does seem rather conflicted and that maybe one of the reasons she hasn't sent my things back. With that being said, it's been been twenty days since our last communication. As two adults [I'm 25 & she will be 24 in Dec] I expected a bit more respect from her in this situation. What I did back in May was wrong. But, at a certain point people need to stop making contradictory statements and communicate something with substances.

[Danni]

So glad!! And although it is sooo hard to do, but expectations is the one thing that lets us down. It is ok to be hopeful, but never expect. Without knowing detail, I don't know what happened back in May, but non the less, as you said, over time, and correct steps towards healing and forgiveness, there has got to be a point the to understanding... human is to err. We are not perfect, never will be. Im am so glad I could help! :)

[Danni]

See. we are not perfect, like all of my spelling errors.. haha

[Asker]

I explained to another GAGer that we got into a pretty heated drunken argument and I blew up at her. My anger got the best of me that evening and I berated, screamed & disrespected her. In the aftermath, I took a step back and invested in anger management [Went to a counselor]. I also mailed her a letter apologizing for my actions and explaining what I was doing to improve myself. Throughout the summer we communicated off/on. But, a lot of her behavior was extremely erratic & attention seeking.

I find a lot of what she's saying and doing inconsistent. It's clear to me that I am on her mind in some way. But, it's not enough for her to have direct communication with me. Everything seems to be done in a pseudo fashion and I just don't operate that way. I'm not getting my hopes to high because it's not like she unblocked me or sent me a text. But, I do find it VERY confusing that someone who said "please do not message me again". Would unblock me on social media.

[Danni]

Ah yes. We females can throw you males for a loop. haha. But it goes both ways. I and you should be so proud of yourself for noticing and taking action for such an event. Admitting your own issues is hard and I commend you for that. I am myself dealing with an addict (alcohol and cocaine) and breaking it off with him due to some crazy off the wall behavior. I too Blocked him for a clean break, cause as addicts do, they'll suck ya right in and we as females, forgive, never forget, and learn to love through the deepest faults cause we are compassionate beings and know we shouldn't judge cause we aren't perfect. I think it's best to tell yourself all the positive things you did to change the way you acted in the past, and continue on a path to a healthy relationship with yourself, first and foremost. If she comes back around, then maybe you've realized, one, you've moved on cause you grew from the situation, or two, you're ready to start fresh and take it one day at a time. :)

[Anonymous]

If those things are important to you and she hasn't sent them back to you yet, just go to her apartment WITHOUT informing her and get your stuff back. Don't bother if she objects to that.

That unblocking on Facebook was just a a random co-incidence on her part, probably. Doesn't seem to mean much at this point.

Please answer mine:-
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1139238-what-exactly-is-wrong-with-me-when-it-comes-to-women-i-m-on-the

[Asker]

I don't feel comfortable just showing up at her apartment. Weeks ago I offered to pick my things up and that she could just leave them outside or even meet me in a public location.

I find the unblocking me deal weird because this is the same person who said "never contact me again"

[Opinion Owner]

See, those are your YOUR stuff and you paid YOUR hard earned money for them. She has no right to just KEEP those things, by not mailing it to you and now allowing you to collect them either. She needs to realize that things don't come for free. No need to feel weird. :)

[KandleGuii2]

She Might Of Unblocked You Because She Was Curious & Wanted To See What You Were Doing, Sometimes A Person's Actions Are Different From What They Say, If She Is A "Show Off" Type Girl Maybe She Was Just Throwing It Up In Your Face, You Know Her Better Than iDo. If You Want Your Stuff Back iSuggest Going Over There & Getting It...

[AlexCab]

Well... it's odd all right. I mean, don't know what happened between you guys, but if she cut you out and then forgave you, good for her peace of mind and yours but that doesn't seem to be enough to add you back to Facebook. Is like she's "giving back" something that you should always have (as in: access to see everything she does?). Doesn't quite add up unless she's still not over you or probably still not over whatever hurt her.

[Asker]

We broke up after a drunken argument. I got extremely upset & said some pretty hurtful things [one of the reasons she feels "disrespected". In the aftermath of the breakup back in May, she removed me from all forms of social media. I tried to be proactive and wrote her a letter explaining that I was on the road towards fixing my behavior [Specifically my anger]. For awhile, we had communication via text and it seemed like things were moving slowly towards being fixed. Then her behavior flipped and she completely shut me out. Back in August, she would do little things via social media that were erratic [following/unfollowing, removing certain photos, liking certain post & asking me to play app games with her]. I got fed up with all this pseudo-communication and asked her "what's going on?".

[AlexCab]

I'd say keep a distance unless you're interested.

[Asker]

I think she's conflicted about what exactly she wants at the moment. It's pretty head scratching to me that someone who "can't forget what I did" would unblock me on Facebook. Not to mention, she hasn't sent my items back.

[AlexCab]

she might actually be expecting you to offer to go get them. I'm telling you man, either step away unless you're interested. If you are, do something.

[Asker]

But, what about the fact that she said "I'll mail them" and the fact she said "please do not message me again". Am I still interested in her? Yes. But, I've put myself out there before and have been shutdown. At a certain point a person begins to get tired of that kind of nonsense.

[AlexCab]

Yes, but you get to decide. She didn't quite close the door man, she had no reason to let you back on her "socials", or did she? If she did, it's up to you to try and find out what that was about.

[Asker]

It's something to think about. As I said before, it's not like she unblocked me and immediately sent me a friend request or texted me. It was late Tuesday evening and I noticed that a number of our old photos had popped up on my page. I went to look and it was clear that she had unblocked me on FB. It's another strike in the odd behavior column of this story.

[AlexCab]

I'll just say it again, mostly because I'm kind of a YES/NO person: it's up to you to determine if these oddities mean something to you, and what to do with them. Agreed on your question though: it is odd based on how you told the story.

[Asker]

I'm the kind of person to shoot you straight on situations and not be biased about it. I'm not proud of what I did back in May. But, I'm also not going to hide away from it. I knew that what I did was wrong. But, for the majority of the summer I was there for her during some of her odd behavior [Which looking back on it. I probably shouldn't have entertained a lot of what she said/did]. Our last communication, she made it fairly obvious that she was not interested because of her harsh & short communication. We'll see if anything outside of social media happens soon. But, I'm not going to jump and try to strike up conversation with her now. Especially when she directly told me to leave her alone.

[Anonymous]

don't get your hopes high, she is gonna block again

[Asker]

wouldn't shock me one bit. She's blocked me before.

[Opinion Owner]

just ignore and get on with life, if she is still into you she would have messaged you