My girlfriend and I have been together for four years. She cheated on me with a guy that she had just met at a party with her friends 2 1/2 years in but told me about it right away and I tried to forgive her but every time I think I have moved on something brings that memory back into my head and I just can't forget about it. I thought that breaking up with her would be the right thing to do but then I just found it too hard to move on. She says she loves me and would never do anything like that again but she also told me that she would never cheat on me in the first place. She is constantly telling me that she is sorry but when I try to talk about it and see if we can fix it she just changes the subject and acts like nothing ever happened. How do I know if she is truly sorry.
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u kind of remember me of my ex bf. I didn't cheat on him but in the very beginning of our relationship I was acting too flirty and didn't really know how to act as a girlfriend because he was my 1st bf, although I never intended to cheat and never did. but still, even after he told me he was upset and I changed my behaviour he kept on bringing it up. 1st time we were together it was a year and a half and finally he kept on bringin it up every week. he did have an anger problem and trust issues, but still he just wouldn't forgive no matter my efforts. and he tried to break up with me too, but just couldn't do it, until finally after a year and a half. its like you either have to forgive or break up. because if you really do forgive her, you have to remember that you can't bring it up all the time.
and about ur girlfriend changin the topic... my boyfriend brought up the issue sooo much that I just didn't say anything when he got mad, I would just sit there, feel bad about what he was saying and hope we could just go over to sth else. that didn't mean I wasn't sorry, but he brought it up so much and made me feel so bad, I just didn't know what to say to him anymore. and do you really wanna talk to s.o. who just accuses you but not calmly talks to u? I don't know how you act with her, but maybe you don't really wanna talk to her but just accuse her and she's getting tired of it too, I mean you can't be sorry forever. maybe you do need some time apart and if you wanna sort things, then explain to her you don't wanna accuse her of her mistake but you wanna find out why she did it and what could improve the situation.
so if you should forgive her or not, I guess you have to feel she doesn't just say sorry for you but she really means it and she has taken actions to show you that she's serious. and if you still can't forgive then maybe you just need some time apart, just to get away from it a bit and have a fresh start.1