Why does a dumper keep the dumpees family as friends on facebook?

[Anonymous]

Two years after breakup. And even after the dumpee requested the dumper to please remove them because it hurts the dumpee (recently after the breakup).

Really what is the point, because they shall never meet again anyway.
Does it mean the dumper is trying to hurt the dumpee?
Or is it rather that the dumper can't let go?

Dumper isn't a person to 'just keep people as friends' on FB.

Dumper is trying to taunt the dumpee

Dumper can't emotionally let go of the dumpees family

Other/see results

[BearsAnswers]

It should be up to the dumpee to tell their family members to drop the dumper if it bothers them. The dumper may actually like some of the family members, and has no real reason to care what the dumpee feels at all if they are no longer a couple. However, the family members SHOULD care about how the dumpee feels, and should therefore listen if asked to remove the person from their list. They probably don't even realize the dumper is ON their list in the first place.

[Asker]

No reason to care what the dumpee feels? A mindset like that sounds pretty irresponsible to me. I doubt people are usually that callous. Especially without a good reason to do so. Keeping in mind that the dumpee should hold a piece in the dumpers heart forever -unlike those family members- if the RS was good.

Personally as a dumper I always consider the emotions of the dumpee in my actions, trying to hurt them as little as possible.

So this sounds farfetched tbh, but thanks for the response.

[BearsAnswers]

That's just generalizing from one example. It's fallacious to assume that because you think one way, or because your moral 'center' tells you one thing, that other people do as well.

I am on great terms with most of my exes, so I consider their emotions to some extent. But I do know that a lot of people have terrible thoughts towards their exes, and couldn't give two shits what they thought. In fact, I continuously see questions on this very site from users asking how they can do things to specifically HURT their ex emotionally. So, I suppose it could be said that they 'do' care about how the other feels, but that the care is predicated on wanting them to suffer.

"The dumpee should hold a piece in the dumpers heart forever" is a very romantic notion, but again not very grounded in reality. Some exes I care about. Some exes I couldn't care less about if I tried.

If the relationship was so great that it should last forever in the heart of its members, it should have lasted.

[BearsAnswers]

"And even after the dumpee requested the dumper to please remove them because it hurts the dumpee (recently after the breakup)."

Right there seems proof enough that the person in question, the specific, not the general, doesn't really care if it hurts the other person.

Callous? No, just trying to make a realistic observation based on the presented information.

[Asker]

Agreed that not all exes hold a piece of the heart forever. But most will, unless you are talking about one night stands etc.

And it's not because my moral center is telling me it's bad that I am saying that. But because people in general are good unless you have done them something very seriously wrong.

I know they are generalizations, and there are exceptions. And this ex could be an exception to that. But I know for a fact that this person is a good person at heart so it's most likely not the case.

""And even after the dumpee requested the dumper to please remove them because it hurts the dumpee (recently after the breakup)."
Could prove the dumper is callous. It could also mean that the dumper can't and WON'T let go of the 'ties'.

Giving you best answer though, you put in the most effort and this could still be true nonetheless ;)

[LastGirlScout]

Neither, maybe they actually had a good relationship with the family and are sad to lose them as friends? I doubt it has anything to do with the rejected person.

[Asker]

With some she had a good connection, with others she never even talked to.

Also they live in another country so unlikely to ever meet/see them again.

[LastGirlScout]

The distance thing means nothing, that's the point of Facebook for me - to communicate with people I don't see on a day to day or regular basis. Some people just love to have a high number of friends on Facebook - maybe your ex is keeping tabs on you, I don't know but I'm friends with some of my ex's family/friends on FB

[Anonymous]

They forgot to remove them