Taking a day off work or school for a breakup is pathetic?

[Anonymous]

This strikes me as surprising. I have read some god awful stories of breakups and how much they hurt. I have personally never been on a date but after all these stories I have read on the internet about girls randomly dumping guys, leading on guys, etc, and how much breakups suck, I feel like I already have mild trust issues. And I haven't even been on a date...

No really, I have seen... well not literally "seen", but observed... on Loveshack, eNotalone, here, Talkaboutmarriage, Yahoo! Answers. Man... breakups I think have to definitely be in the top 10 worst things a human-being can experience.

I have heard of physiological symptoms as severe as up to and including throwing up and fainting and psychological symptoms as severe as up to and including suicide.

This is making me really worried about breakups and while I really do dream of falling in love, I am afraid because first loves usually end in breakup. And first breakups are usually the worst. More discussion on my fear over breakups in this thread: talkaboutmarriage.com/.../...ermanent-breakup.html

Now the other day I asked if you would take a day off work or school for a breakup, and everyone was calling me pathetic and weak for proposing such an idea. Huh?

People are literally crying all day and night and are getting 0 hours of sleep and throwing up, but you call them pathetic and weak for taking a day off? And I heard those symptoms can last for a week...

This is even more alarming... lol... what am I going to do when my first girlfriend breaks up with me and I have a test the next day and I am crying all night not being able to study. Forget me - how do/did YOU do it?

How do people in high school do it? I have never heard of someone taking a day off high school for it... and I can't imagine going to school crying in all of your classes...

[Anonymous]

This is a touigh one.
Firstly don't be too scared. You will never know how a relationship will work until you try.
Also everyone is different, you may not react the same as others.
A tough break up to me, I can relate to grieving. All of a sudden this person is taken out of your life.
So for some people at first a tough break up is simillar to grieving.

I personally have never taken time off of work. I could just about hold it together in work when I had a hard time with a breakup, I wasn't myself but I wanted to work. I have experienced all sorts of physical manifistations caused by the break up. But they pass, it gets easier, then one day everything is fine.
Not every break up causes so much heart ache.

I have experienced someone else needing to have time off from work. She tried to come into work but she was a mess. She did her best but she was crying and crying not very productive. She just couldn't hold it together, so after leanding a shoulder, the manager sent her home. She came back the next day and wasn't herself, but she could just about hold it together and get on with work.

Don't be scared of relationships becuase you have heard how hard a break up can be.
If you are that worried on the impact of a relationshipon studies then stay single and just have fun until you have all your exams out the way. No harm in going slow.

[Anonymous]

I think it really depends on the breakup.
The only situations where I feel taking a day off wouldn't be appropriate would be if you were only dating for like 2 weeks and you didn't know her before then. Like that's not that long, suck it up.

But any other situation, sure take some time off.

[Asker]

Of course. That doesn't even count as a breakup. That's just rejection. I am talking like real breakups...

[Marihorror]

It really depends on how well you handle stress. I personally am a pretty unemotional person and prefer keeping myself busy instead of wallowing in misery, but some people genuinely do need time to just reflect and collect themselves.

[Serious_One]

Yes, sometime people need clear their mind. You are just making sure don't let it affect education. Wish I would have been smart enough to do the same.

[Camallunt]

People usually lie about why they are taking time off. Phrases like personal days or family issues or private matters come to mind for the polite way to say I'm not doing anything today because I am heartbroken.

A relationship ending can feel like losing someone in the sense of grief. Strong emotional distress is important to deal with and not ignore so anyone with compassion or understanding will accept a short break can be needed as your mental health is very important.

A break up from a long term relationship can be a serious thing for some people and as long as you don't go crazy trying to take unnecessary amounts of time off then it isn't unreasonable to call in unfit for work or school. Of course if a long term relationship caused mental health problems it would be understandable for a long absence - this would likely be break up exasabating previous condition.

[rthomas43]

I lost multiple close family members a couple years ago just a few months apart. The emotional pain I felt from that was absolutely nothing compared to the pain I felt going through my first bad breakup. I was a mess for weeks. Finally, as time goes on, the pain starts to fade until you can carry on like normal.

[Asker]

Man... you're only making me more worried...

[rthomas43]

The reward is well worth the risk though :)

[RedThread]

After the first bad breakup the rest become easier Asker.

[rthomas43]

@RedThread
Very true.

[Asker]

I am taking a poll here and seems like it's not as bad as I thought. From what people say, it sounded like people go through like 10 breakups before getting married.

This poll shows otherwise : boards.straightdope.com/.../poll.php

[SandPlanet]

There's absolutely nothing pathetic about that. Whoever said that is coldhearted asshole.

[Asker]

lol like 80% of my responses in that thread were people saying it was pathetic... and I got like 20 responses...

[Asker]

... and almost all of them had gone through breakups...

[SandPlanet]

The fact that so many people called this pathetic, THAT is pathetic.

[Asker]

Look at this: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1117122-high-school-college-students-do-you-take-a-day-off-for-breakups

[Asker]

I asked that about a month and a half ago...

[SandPlanet]

I'm actually scared to look at it. I've seen too much ignorance and bigotry on GAG today already.

[rthomas43]

I am shocked at the responses in that thread.

[Asker]

I know, right?

[Marhaban-1]

I live be a few saying one of them been its not until you fall that you fly

[Nikki8514]

No if you do not feel well enough to go in to work or school you should maybe take a little break but not for too long

[Anonymous]

I prefer being with people than being alone... because when alone you might think about the old times... which is not healthy...

[Anonymous]

Why are you taking a day off bc of a breakup?

[Asker]

I am not. I was asking why do people think it's pathetic to do so. Did you even read the OP?

[Asker]

Sorry, I am frustrated as hell with stuff, so don't take my bitter and harsh comments personally.