I'm probably going to get angry comments.
I'll try to make this as short as possible. I've been in a few relationships, serious, even. But I genuinely love this man. And he claims to genuinely love me too. We kept the relationship secret. The farthest we went were blowjobs. He never pressured this, I just assumed he'd want to stay with me if I sexually pleasured him. Sometimes in the relationship, I'd get paranoid. I often tried my hardest to be good enough for him, and I apologized over small things. If I felt like I made a mistake, I'd cut. I sound like a typical stupid teenage girl, don't I? We even talked about our future together, and how he wanted to have kids and stuff. But recently, he texted me there's an old friend of his that he's in love with. That's it. Last night, we discussed this on the phone, and he says he still loves me and that we still have a chance of being together, but he admitted he'd probably be happier with the other girl. He tried his best not to hurt me. He never tried to hurt me.
I want him to be happy. I really do. But my entire life revolved around him, being depressed before meeting him. I don't know if I can handle it. I want to keep him all to myself and for him to love me and only me.
I fear that if they get together, I'll end up making his life a living hell with constant guilt trips and such. So lately, I've been considering suicide. Once again, I sound like the stupid typical teenage girl. I don't want to get in the way of their love, but I just don't know if I can handle it. I can't even go 5 minutes without thinking of him.
But he said he doesn't want me to commit suicide and if he goes with the other girl he still wants to remain friends.
I don't know how to cope. My best friend would also commit suicide himself if I did it.
Can someone please give me advice? Thank you...
And I don't know if this is of relevance or not, but perhaps I should include this. He leaves for the military sometime in January.
I'll try to make this as short as possible. I've been in a few relationships, serious, even. But I genuinely love this man. And he claims to genuinely love me too. We kept the relationship secret. The farthest we went were blowjobs. He never pressured this, I just assumed he'd want to stay with me if I sexually pleasured him. Sometimes in the relationship, I'd get paranoid. I often tried my hardest to be good enough for him, and I apologized over small things. If I felt like I made a mistake, I'd cut. I sound like a typical stupid teenage girl, don't I? We even talked about our future together, and how he wanted to have kids and stuff. But recently, he texted me there's an old friend of his that he's in love with. That's it. Last night, we discussed this on the phone, and he says he still loves me and that we still have a chance of being together, but he admitted he'd probably be happier with the other girl. He tried his best not to hurt me. He never tried to hurt me.
I want him to be happy. I really do. But my entire life revolved around him, being depressed before meeting him. I don't know if I can handle it. I want to keep him all to myself and for him to love me and only me.
I fear that if they get together, I'll end up making his life a living hell with constant guilt trips and such. So lately, I've been considering suicide. Once again, I sound like the stupid typical teenage girl. I don't want to get in the way of their love, but I just don't know if I can handle it. I can't even go 5 minutes without thinking of him.
But he said he doesn't want me to commit suicide and if he goes with the other girl he still wants to remain friends.
I don't know how to cope. My best friend would also commit suicide himself if I did it.
Can someone please give me advice? Thank you...
And I don't know if this is of relevance or not, but perhaps I should include this. He leaves for the military sometime in January.
Updates
+1 y
I apologize to everyone for sounding like a mopey attention whoring teenager. As much as it appears like this, I'm just really desperate for advice, and I want to find a better way to deal with issues like this instead of doing self destructive things. Thank you everyone who gave actual advice (And for those who simply wrote rude things, that's understandable), and I shall take most things into consideration.
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